The Trick™

omg

where is the lie

The Onion’s review of Mamma Mia 2 is the only one I need

I feel like this is directed at a specific person. I don’t know who but I hope they got the message.

Foiled!

Today I got to go on one of our runs to more rural shelters to help relieve overcrowding there. We ended up bringing back 21 kittens and 10 dogs. So fun day. But this morning, while I was getting stuff together in preparation for the 90 minute drive…. This happened.

Excuse you Tiniest Opossum, but you are NOT allowed to escape through the front bars of the cat carrier we were housing you in. I’m going to put you back.

“NO!”

I am going to catch you and put you back and you have no say in this matter.

“NO!”

Catching you and putting you back now.

“NOOOOOO!”

Aaaand back you go. Let go of the purple towel and go in the cardboard box.

“Noooooooooooo!”

very tiny quiet ‘born to be wild’ plays

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

You a mom now

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

UPDATE

SHES BACK

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

Call this one Susan

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

wish customer service jobs operated w video game standards, so a customer would come up to me and i’d say “greetings traveler! looking to trade?” and they’d only had 4 options for their response 

i’d just stand there wiping down the same part of the counter for 8 hours until my shift ended and then id drop everything and walk away and if you tried to interact with me i’d just keep running into you silently until you moved 

handletheheat.com

This is SO important.

this is on my obligatory reblog list

THIS IS VERY COOL FOODY AND SCIENCEY

MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALY

I KNOW THE SECREQT

OH MY.

this just in: rats are more humane than humans

Happy first birthday Knife-Wielding Tentacle..👍

dear god, it lives still

Save the date folks, Knife-Wielding Tentacle’s second birthday is November 16th.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY, KNIFE-WIELDING TENTACLE!

ofc she’s a scorpio

holy fuck i have the same birthday as knife wielding tentacle

regret.mp4

“OH RIGHT HE WAS A WRESTLER”

invader zim filmed this

Y’all these are the actors who are in the Spongebob Squarepants broadway musical that Plankton trying to knock down Spongebob

that context makes is 10000X funnier

meirl

Megara by Hannah Éva

doodled some cats laying in glass bowls as practice for somethin I wanted to offer

all references

here’s some kirbs for ya

Two very important fusions I needed to draw……..

this is gonna be an extremely unpopular opinion so bare with me, but i don’t think children should be vaccinated unless they really absolutely want to be and if they grow up into adults who still don’t want to be vaccinated then so be it.

kids are too young to fully grasp what vaccination does to you, and i don’t mean that in a “they’ll make you autistic and die” way. i mean they don’t understand what they’re setting themselves up for in the future. (shots are pretty traumatic for children too, but that’s for another day.) if a child is too young to consent to sex or medical transition if they’re trans, they’re definitely too young to consent to a vax.

i haven’t had any contact with my family for quite some time now, so i have a hard time knowing my medical history, especially with my lack of health insurance and a move to a different country.

because of that, i live with the constant fear that i might have been vaccinated against rabies. my family was extremely poor and had spotty health insurance but its hard to say. but its fucking heartbreaking to know i might never be fully rabid because my parent might have vaccinated me as a child, when i was too young to know, too young to have a say in it.

how many other kids are there, just like me? how many adults have grown up miserable because they’ve been vaccinated against their genetic disposition for a certain disease? its practically eugenics and it makes me fuckin sick to my stomach. there are babies RIGHT NOW getting vaxxed bc “thats what’s healthy for them” and their parents have no idea how much grief they’re causing right now.

so yea, maybe stop vaxxing your kids??

at first i was like “yeah okay this a dumb but manageable take” and then op went for the rabies thing and my soul left my body

everyday this site drags us further and further away from the will of God and into madness and destruction

What corner of hieronymus Bosch hell did this come from

Where’s my post about being confused about how great civilizations fall into the dark ages and then looking around me living in 2018 cause this post is proof of that lmao

If you didn’t go to their blog, you’re missing the best part:

This is the kind of stuff that you have to laugh at or you’ll go insane.

When I said I was so desensitised to Tumblr I couldn’t be shocked anymore, I didn’t mean it as a challenge

I’ve entered the twilight zone, that’s the only explanation

I’m in hell, aren’t I.

haha what the FUCK!!!! is this real!!!! is this fucking real!!!!

PiNe11298  -  http://ppinne.tumblr.com  -  https://twitter.com/PiNe11298

oh my god

this. this is art.

Trust me. I’m a mom.

Why does this man dressed up as a woman remind me so much of Scarlett Johanson?