Fraternizing
“I know you think this is stupid…"
Mentor didn’t bother to say any word to that. Hero knew him well enough to decipher what his eyes meant. He slowly sat back down, easing the frenzy of anger that had left him energized, and propped his elbows on the table.
Hero fought the urge to run over the words, but they face the consequences of their decisions. Even if what they wanted most is to disappear.
“It’s purely platonic. I didn’t… None of this was on purpose"
“I really hoped not. I would be worried if it were a new way to get information, to seduce your enemy until you fell in love…”
“Wouldn’t it be different than some of us would?”
“… Since no one else in the agency would ever think such a thing” Mentor narrowed his eyes at their commentary. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying?”
The question sounded low and somewhat rhetorical, but Hero had the impulse to answer. “I never intended to start this in the first place”
“Fraternizing with the enemy is more than that” Mentor tilted his column forward. Not that Hero doesn’t already feel so small being looked at from below “Have you forgotten what I already told you about most of them? Do I need to tell you it won’t end well for you? I need…”
He closed his eyes. Hero realized with sudden horror that Mentor was the one scrambling for words. He always knew what to say and how to say it, he never stopped out of nowhere to sigh or pull himself together. He always knew, always knew, he was once a superhero that a lot of heroes these days look up to.
When they entered the room, Mentor recognized the signs when Hero was about to say something, considering that they wanted to see him so early in the morning, in the middle of the week, which already felt eternal to him. The person who was at that table didn't even look like he'd ever played on the field. He looked like he read too many documents, drank too much coffee, and got too little rest.
Hero needed to tell someone, right away to whoever had discovered them, while no one else knew they had – oh God – fallen in love with Villain. “I didn’t say any of this to anyone. But it’s not because I…”
Mentor opened his eyes and sighed again, circling the table from where he was before.
They didn’t doubt that Mentor might have always suspected. Since he’s already been in their place. He taught them a lot; how to handle their duties, how to appear in public, and everything they knew about Supervillain, even though they felt he didn’t tell them everything, no matter how much Hero asked for. Hero, on the other hand, knew things about him no one else in the building did.
But never, in all that time, did they see Mentor like that. And never felt scared of him like now.
“I don’t want to defend Villain, but they…” wouldn’t be something they would do, but Hero immediately chided themself “They wouldn’t go to that much trouble for doing this. It’s not the way that they act"
" Do I need to tell you that all of this will only leave you exposed to whoever will be happy to betray you?”
Hero could bury themself right now and wouldn’t make a difference. It would be better, actually. But they had to face the consequences as a hero should do a hero who fell in love for a villain…
“Did they try to do anything to you?”
“No” Hero gulped, trying to keep their voice steady “The only thing that happened was….” when Villain pinned them against the wall. ’I’m not into these little games’, Hero once said, the red in their face and the push they gave when both heard footsteps coming; the smile that Villain gave afterward as if knew the reason for the urge to keep distance “Nothing"
Hero felt there was something more. They could feel it when Mentor got too frustrated with something.
"I’m sorry to disappoint you, sir” They look down “I agree with every decision that is made from this”
Mentor face plastered with disappointment caused the crack in their heart. Hero was waiting for the consequences, but not that look.
Maybe that was the last day they would wear that uniform? Mentor will fire them?
“It’s you I’m worried about”
His eyes paced along with the room, wandering through countless ideas. Hero gave his due silence, suppressing the guilt for causing him more stress than he already had. Damn, he has bags under his eyes, more dark than usual. It’s because of that topic he was like this? They didn’t want to worry…
Suddenly anguish pierced their chest when thinking about this whole situation. Didn’t Mentor also realize that they weren’t enjoying the situation as well?
Will anyone really think, after all Hero has done, that they would throw it all away like it was worth the risk?
“Please,” Mentor lowered his tone, as if finally getting tired again “Don’t make me say that kind of thing to you. Don’t tell me you think because you have some kind of understanding with Villain, that you’ve forgotten who we’re dealing with…”
“Do you think I’m stupid?” Not even Mentor expected their reaction, but he didn’t back down. Hero doesn’t either “I would never do anything like that. Never.”
Mentor was suddenly calm, and everything went silent so that his voice could be heard. Not really believing in anything they were saying. “I trusted you when you asked me for permission to fight them all you wanted, and look what happened. What if this goes to Supervillain? To Thief? To Other Villain? To my superiors?”
“I didn’t want this situation as much as you want” Their body jumped up from the chair “Are we talking about the same person, by the way? Are there any other Supervillains out there or someone worse who would do this? No one else knows but you…”
“Hero” they were finally interrupted “They may not know, but it won’t make a difference at all”
He closed his eyes. Hero wished they could do the same and all of that would be resolved.
“What good could come of trusting someone who will have every reason to deceive you?” something in Mentor tone made Hero falter “You know, that’s the burden of this lifestyle, Hero. I think I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I told you things from my own experience and how the consequences can be greater than they seem"
The shiver returned. Mentor words dragged them back into that fear. Mentor veered to the other side of the room.
“We can find people to trust when we feel like we’re going crazy” under this light, Hero saw his vacant gaze, focused on whatever he was thinking “Bu It’s very easy to meet someone willing to have one hand with a knife behind your back and the other on your shoulder"
Hero tried to tell themself that the urge to cry was no big deal. Mentor paid no attention.
“Anything from us to them will be a weapon. It’s just a matter of how long they will play with you, until they decide it’s time to pull the trigger” His head turned to Hero. Now they had a pitiful look “I always trusted anyway that you could handle”
“Then you can’t blame me completely”
An instinct told them to apologize; too weak for Hero to listen.
“I’ve had this for a long, long time. Nothing happened because I’m not dumb to be fooled” Hero pointed at him, proud and fearful with a look that turned somber “You like to say all this as if I’ve never been competent at what I do, as you love so much to tell me. But, suddenly, I’m not anymore, is it?”
Mentor watched them breathe shakily. Without a response, Hero felt their words out of their mouth.
“And do you want to know something else too? Villain is much more than what people say, yes. I think we have more important things to discuss than that”
They froze at hearing Mentor laugh.
A strange old sound came, trying to imitate what a laugh sounded like. Not even in an ironic way, but rusty.
“Oh, but this, Hero, is important” Mentor looked at one of the paintings in his office. "Do you know what will happen?”
“When you’re being destroyed from the inside out by someone you let in, you won’t be prepared. Not like it would be if you lost a fight” he smiled, not at all comforting as almost seems “Because you were taught that the enemy comes from outside. And after this?Will you be able to expose yourself to someone with as much confidence as before?”
Finally, a good argument, coherent and effective, surfaced from the back of their head.
“Clearly it’s you who didn’t make it"
Hero stared at him. Mentor stared back.
His expression makes the Hero want to give up and just apologize. Their future was at stake, but…
They also knew Mentor too well. They always had questions about their past, about who they really were.
"That’s what happened to you, isn’t it? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Mentor narrowed his gaze, but whatever he wanted to say, he kept to himself “Because I never expected you to fall in love with your enemy”
“As you did” His fists clenched, and Hero saw; the anger contained when they hit the right topic “What happened? Was an old friend? Was Supervillain?” Mentor tried to cut them, but the irony was on the tip of Hero tongue. “You and Supervillain…”
What has Supervillain really done to you? That’s what Hero always wanted to ask, but never insisted because they knew it was useless. But if Mentor expected so much honesty from Hero, they also demanded of him.
"Me and Supervillain what?”
Hero could. Just ask, is there any hypocrisy here?
“Nothing” they looked away. “It makes no difference to know. It’s not like you would tell me anyway"
It was Mentor turn to swallow hard and take his time to respond, while his head thought of various things and Hero stared at him in silence, trying to decipher what they might be.
“Great” he tried to be calm, but Hero also knew when Mentor wanted to close a subject, “We have things to take care of, indeed”
Neither of them said anything for what seemed like an eternity. He closed his eyes for half a second. Hero swallowed, not out of fear as before.
Hero looked back at him. The anger was no longer there but concern, and they wondered if it hadn’t been there before this whole time.
“I don’t want you to do the same as I did” He walked to the door and opened "Go to your train, Tomorrow we will discuss certain changes from now on”
It’s for your own good. Mentor didn’t say it, Hero could hear it from his mind.