did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

not the socks.

Inshallah he will be stirred into a fine fry

A delicious meal

#fucking adorable#but like legit you do actually have to harmlessly annoy them sometimes#because sometimes you will need to do HIGH STAKES ANNOYANCE#like giving them a pill or taking them to the vet#and it's important for them to know that annoying weird things happen sometimes but they will be fine#which is why we have an assortment of adorable kitty costumes#(because getting them used to occasionally wearing things and being handled around the neck and belly is actually useful)#(like imagine if we ever had to have a surgical collar on them)#it sounds selfish and it is HILARIOUS but it is actually useful

(tags via @asphodelimago)

“Lol” hasn’t meant “laughing out loud” in like 15 years… it’s just a word now and more importantly it’s the perfect way to end a sentence lol

So true… I have never gained anything useful from tone indicators except for learning that some sentences suddenly end in a handjob

hm. i feel terrified of everything. surely large ice coffee will ease this terror. surely

When you are alone and have a heart attack. What are you gonna do then?

Take a 2 minute break and read this:

Let's say it's 5:25 pm and you're driving home after an unusually hard day's work.

You are really tired and frustrated. All of a sudden your chest pains. They are starting to radiate in the arm and jaw. It feels like being stabbed in the chest and heart. You're only a few miles away from the nearest hospital or home.

Unfortunately you don't know if you can make it..

Maybe you've taken CPR training, but the person running the course hasn't told you how to help yourself.

How do you survive a heart attack when you're alone when it happens? A person who is feeling weak and whose heart is beating hard has only about 10 seconds before losing consciousness.

1. But you can help yourself by coughing repeatedly and very strongly! Deep breaths before every cough. Coughing should be repeated every second until you arrive at the hospital or until your heart starts to beat normally.

2. Deep breathing gives oxygen to your lungs and coughing movements boost the heart and blood circulation. Heart pressure also helps to restore a normal heartbeat. Here's how cardiac arrest victims can make it to the hospital for the right treatment

3. Cardiologists say if someone gets this message and passes it on to 10 people, we can expect to save at least one life.

4. FOR WOMEN: You should know that women have additional and different symptoms. Rarely have crushing chest pain or pain in the arms. Often have indigestion and tightness across the back at the bra line plus sudden fatigue.

Reblogging this, because it is helpful information, BUT, with a couple of additions and caveats. First, this:

And then this:

And yes, as you get older, these are things you actually start thinking about, and worrying about, so I always try to stay informed.

Important for younger people too!! I was in my 30's, sitting in a waiting room, feeling sorry for myself because I was the youngest person at the cardiologist's. Then a kid who couldn't have been more than 16 walked in....

One of the most dangerous mistakes people make about their health is believing that a health problem doesn't happen to people "their age".

You're in her dms well i'm in my jammies. goodnight

op turned off reblogs on this post for safety reasons but gave me permission to repost it because it's an important message.

[ID: screenshot of a tumblr post and subsequent reblog. the username has been removed so the op can remain anonymous.

the main post reads, "random Jews throughout online spaces and the real world have nothing to do with Israel or its crimes against humanity and to equate Every Jewish Thing with Israel is exactly what Israel wants in order to retain the idea of cultural homogeneity / the idea that Israel is the only safe place for Jews" 

The reblog reads, "the colonial state of Israel wants people to think that all Jews are affiliated with Israel so that goyim feel guilted into backing it otherwise they’re “antisemitic”, or it preys on Nazi ideas of a “global elite” controlling everything. Judaism pre-dates the state of Israel, and its presence is an exploitation of our religion by (mostly) the US in order to have an excuse to send Jews somewhere else and displace the people native to that region and now Palestinians are being slaughtered in order to build condos and beachfront hotels where their homes once stood

“Never again means now. Free Palestine” end ID.]

PUNIC WARS THREE

PUNIC WARS FOUR

Every time you add another punic war to this post a time traveller goes back and makes it real for the bit

LIVE (nothing wrong with me)

LAUGH (nothing wrong with me)

LOVE (nothing wrong with me)

reminder that coming up with some fake little dudes and creating intricate storylines in your head is a completely free and fun way to pass the time and the government can't stop you

This is actually a really good example of why internet of things is a security risk. The hackers couldn't have exploited the thermometer as an entry point if it didnt connect to the fucking internet to start with

[lmao @sweetenby​]

You're telling me an Ocean Eleven'd this casino?

Heartbreaking: This person is making great points but they're being a huge fucking asshole about it so you can't reblog any of it

Heartbreaking: This person is making great points but they're saying you're a bad person if you don't reblog so you can't reblog any of it

do you ever find yourself bedeviled by writing ideas that are the equivalent of finding a single carrot in your fridge. your brain goes "we should write a pirate story" or "we should write a parisian thief caper" and you ask, "all right, what do we cook with that, then?" and it says "no other ingredients (:"

Literally nothing will make me more evil than just being sort of overwhelmed by Noises