dean winchester aka the all-american bitch

happy birthday to THEE all-american bitch, dean winchester!!! 💘

this vision literally came to me as soon as i listened to guts... it was a long road getting here but i'm glad i was able to get this done by the best boy's bday 🫡

[ youtube link ]

no no no, it’s totally fine—will you excuse me for a moment? (steps outside to shriek and sob)

genuinely evil that we didn’t get to see this play out onscreen

@cassierobinsons important part of the post that should not be lost

A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. 

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

big win for the girlies (gn) who like beelover!cas despite the haters

saw a tiktok of a mother taking her very tiny daughter to an art museum and she’s just walking around going “whoooa” “woooaah” to everything but then they got to a marble statue of a nude woman lying on her back and the girl points and goes “mommy🫵” and i just immediately welled up with tears and all the comments are just laughing about it and of course it’s funny but how are you not insanely moved by the way art connects everyone on earth from a centuries-old sculptor to a toddler in 2023

Mother and baby viewing Van Gogh's Madame Roulin and Her Baby at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, US. By the Boston Herald

I’m not sure how to look at art by Lynda Barry

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before

The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!

Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

He was the officiator

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

Oh my god they were moon mates.

destiel is just 12 years of silently begging each other ‘tell me without making me ask’ over and over and over again

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

idk where “monkeys like bananas” came from but im so glad its a thing because its so fucking funny for no reason at all

They are both the same color

?

They’re thinking of Curious George the yellow monkey

?

Paddington bear wears that yellow ass coat

his name is ted. also, he’s not a monkey

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

happy 3 yr anniversary to the post that singlehandedly launched the twilight renaissance

Happy 5 year anniversary to the effervescent snail post

7 years, give it up for 7 years

if i am evil. i create character A, who indulges often. always eating, always fucking. but time and time again reveal that he is not hungry. he is not lustful. he performs hunger and doesnt truly feel it. he performs sexuality and doesnt truly feel it. and for fifteen years he performs indulgence into desire he doesnt feel. i create character B, who does not indulge. never eating, never fucking. but time and time again reveal that he IS hungry. he is lustful. he denies hunger but feels it deeply. he denies sexuality but feels it deeply. and for fifteen years he refuses to indulge in the desire he feels. and then. in the final season. allow character A to finally desire something. allow character B to confess his desire. and then kill them both before either is able to really indulge in something they truly desire. if i am evil. i do this.

destiel btw. this is not about ur other thing this is a destiel post on the destiel website.

Dean did nothing wrong but also [much more serious tone] season 1 Dean did nothing wrong.

#this is me but about season 9 Dean

[Pulling out my blade surrounded by dozens of attackers] season 9 Dean did nothing wrong.

#also season 8. season 8 dean DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG

[Monster voice] Season 8 Dean did nothing wrong

abstract and modern art haters are sooo snobby like klein literally Created an entirely new pigment and then painted a canvas in a way where the brush strokes wouldn't be visible. the insinuation that people with no skill could reproduce that is so annoying because unless you are skilled at color mixing and painting you definitely couldn’t lmao

i hope it's okay to add this because i think it hits the nail directly on the head

Honestly, it's like picking up a book and saying "I know all these words, I can type, I could have written this" like there's no middle step between the technical ability and the finished work.

tumblr is great because no matter how many followers i get it doesn't stop me from being really fucking annoying. other places i will perhaps think before i post. Not here. not here