kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

And he's losing.

someone added the tag "the oat" on one of the reblogs of my stoat draws and it amused me

I had this sitting in my drafts for SO long struggling to decide what Spahr and Lark text posts I was gonna pick that better images for Weepe and Saskia dropped and I had to redo them both (Saskia's TWICE).

my mouse keeps shocking me. why are you doing that

[image ID: ash ketchum. end ID]

A small family of three booked a flight to Kansas 

They arrived at the airport several hours early. As he was only four years old and this was his first experience with this sort of thing, the son was constantly wandering off.

Several times, the father had to chase him down, pick him up, and haul him back to their seats at the flight gate. After a while, he grew tired of this and told the child, "If you wander off again, I'm going to check you with the rest of the luggage."

Sure enough, wander off is exactly what the child did. So this time, the father picked him up and carried him over to the gate attendant. "Sir, I don't think I can allow you to check your own child," they told him.

The father frowned at this, then asked, "What, are you telling me I'll have to carry on my wayward son?"

Weird to think that no matter how hackneyed a cliche or stock phrase is, somebody still had to be the one to invent it. What legendary wordsmith was the first to ask if someone was “working hard or hardly working”? What screenwriter is kicking himself for not copyrighting the phrase “I got it, I got it…I don’t got it!”

Relatedly, of the billions of people on this planet, one person is going to live the rest of their life knowing they were the first person to type the phrase “heckin good pupper”. If you’ve been on Tumblr long enough it may have been someone you know, or knew.

Another person will live out their years knowing they drew the original Trollface, but probably completely incapable of convincing anyone of that fact

when in fics they say two characters gave each other a look this is always what i envision in my head

as a writer this is also what i envision

I think "they don't even have X" is one of those memes that's actually funnier in its original context than in anything that's been done with it subsequently. Like, in its original context, this is a joke about a man who has lived his entire adult life alone in a swamp cold-reading the atmosphere of a corporate workplace and deciding that appealing to the receptionist's sense of working-class solidarity is going to get him in the door, and it fucking works.

... the Lord is testing me.

(Specifically, the Getty Museum shop is testing me)

can i come over and implant false memories of us being childhood friends?

Sure! You always did that when we were younger!

Me: *trying to study* an invisible opponent somewhere: *pays the one*

@odddogs I know she looks like a a bat but I promise that's a dog!

thank you so much for thinking of me, i am VERY much a fan of this

I built my house inside out, so vampires can enter without being invited but they need my permission to leave.

Why did I do this? Don't worry about it 😊

Python installed successfully 🐍😎

He's ready to begin computing

meine scheiß Schlange Gniesbert ist schon wieder in meinen Gaming pc geklettert