penmeetspage reblogged
Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it
penmeetspage reblogged
Poorly drawn Charmander line.
penmeetspage reblogged
I'm aware this is petty and very unkarmic of me or whatever, but the amount of joy I just experienced logging in to Facebook to discover that a former boss, who bullied me relentlessly and made my mental health significantly worse, fell down a manhole loony toons style, is off the charts.
They're fine. Or they will be. Couple of bruises and a twisted ankle, according to the post I just read. But man, if the photos my other former colleague posted aren't going to keep me entertained for a while.
Hgkls. True to character, Former Boss was mocking my former coworker for not wanting to push a heavy cart of drinks over the manhole cover which didn't look like it was on correct, and Former Boss got mad and decided to jump on the manhole to prove it was stable.
Incredible. 10/10 Wish there'd been video.
Oh my gooooooood.
I have some terrible past bosses that I really wish would fall in a manhole Looney Tunes-style. Living the dream.
Honestly couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.
And the thing is, I know the exact area she fell through because even 12 years ago when I still worked there, I remember complaining that the area didn't feel safe to go over with really heavy carts because it would wobble, and the the [place of employment] just refused to do anything about it.
The last time I said anything, my boss pretended to cry like a baby and asked me if I was "scawed of a wittle wobble."
So this is just *chef kiss* ecstatic. Going to be riding this high for a while.
penmeetspage reblogged
happy smallpox eradication day to all who celebrate, which is everyone!
“On December 9, 1979, the disease was confirmed to have been eradicated, with the World Health Assembly making the declaration official five months later.”
“On May 8, 1980, more than two years after the last known case, the World Health Assembly formally declared the world free of smallpox.”
celebrate twice!
penmeetspage reblogged
All throughout childhood, while my peers were socializing and making friends, I studied the blade read so many books that I am now almost legally blind, which left me with vast and deeply instinctual understanding of English grammar - and next to no ability to explain how it actually works. Friends will often ask me to proofread their writing and then get very mad when I say things like, "You need to completely reverse this sentence and cut this clause entirely; no, I'm sorry, i don't know why, I just know that the way it is now ITCHES 😭"
Now, what I want to see is a fantasy story where this plays out with MAGICAL grammar. Someone from a backwater town deeply steeped in folk magic arrives at Wizard Uni where all their fellow students are like "What do you mean, we should add another '𝞯∘⋇𝞿' to the incancation because it 'sounds better'? What do you mean, 'it could just be a regional thing'?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'THIS SPELL JUST FEELS LIKE IT NEEDS A LIVE RAT'????"
penmeetspage reblogged
Muderbot El Higgins
🤝
Doing the morally good thing but being mad as hell about it
penmeetspage reblogged
murderbot bookmark design :)
penmeetspage reblogged
Cant have fucking shit in Detroit
Cant have shit
Okay so door saga
- The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There's a back entrance but it's deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.
- The door to MY unit now... has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.
- There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.
- This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors' unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.
- Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won't be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.
- Text neighbor about predicament. They're willing to look at my door bUT (it's Christmas) they're not home and not getting home until the next day.
- Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren't attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying "okay if I don't hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?" (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)
- Catsitter is very not keen on the idea
- Patches is unaware she's a prisoner.
- Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.
- Okay... Good Enough... (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn't missed any meals but we're going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).
- 6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.
- 8:30pm I'm figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn't go through.
- Text neighbor's partner being like "hey sorry, can't seem to reach Molly--". Get a text back "Sorry this is Molly on David's phone! My phone died." Family Christmas plans ran late but they're on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.
- 9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text "David fixed your door!" Woo!
- Friday 5pm I finally get home
- Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child
- Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob
- ...Doorknob falls off
- Falls off right into my hands
- Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.
- Fucking
- Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David's door. David is luckily home. "My doorknob fell off again can I go home"
- David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn't even notice because I'm like my cat.
- Get in through the back hall.
- Patches comes bounding over.
- My cat.
- Doesn't even know she was a prisoner.
- Doesn't even know what a doorknob is.
- Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I'm like "I Did Not Even Notice."
- Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.
- Can't even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.
- I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it's not worth the risk
- I'm gonna try to fix the doorknob
- Or... buy? a new doorknob?
- On Amazon searching "doorknob".
- Merry Christmas
You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.
There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop
Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob
Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.
To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which
- With what tools
- That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don't need fucking Redwall in my home.
- Probably bad for the integrity of the door
- I don't wanna.
I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.
I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?
(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)
(I think the two spokes might be standard.)
Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).
In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.
This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.
Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.
I'm retightening all the screws.
Patches has offered no solutions.
So it does!
Never heard the term "spindle doorknob" before so I never would have found this on my own.
They're also all labeled "vintage" which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.
Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.
At least 4,000 but we still got time
New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:
- Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
- Patches is on my keyboard
- whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.
- Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this
- 10 or so people reading the "can't have shit in Detroit" meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I'm a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.
- Many many people wondering why I'm not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it's me. It's me. I'm me I'm my landlord. It's my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.
- 3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.
- Person with a story of dogsitting a friend's Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.
DOORKNOB
ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS
(Ran out of paper towels)
Old knob coming off.
Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.
Get undid
New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping
Patches retrieved
Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on
Patches retrieved again.
Anyway
DOORKNOB SCREWED ON
KNOB
Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.
In conclusion look at my cat
penmeetspage reblogged
another inherently funny part of star trek is the very first show establishes a magic machine that sparklezaps them out of uncomfortable situations so for the next 56 years writers have to keep coming up with reasons why it won't work this time
you're all hired to the Star Trek writers' room
@song-spero @theatomicpsychotic @theskyismadeofpenguins please know that you're all much funnier than me and I love you
penmeetspage reblogged
“No man is an island” oh really? Really? What about him?:
penmeetspage reblogged
only-tiktoks
For folks in the notes very upset that she only has two babies left: These baby possums are of dispersion size - they're big enough to leave mom and fend for themselves. These two are just the ones who haven't moved out yet.
Oh wow I had no idea they were so tiny when they left home! Our possums in Australia don't have as many babies so they're generally 1/3 to 1/2 the size of the mum when they get kicked out.
I would definitely assume a baby opossum was abandoned if I hadn't been told otherwise.
Every year wildlife rehabs are delivered many perfectly healthy baby possums for this exact reason and generally, it means they get a little boost of assured safety, food, and hydration before being released. Imagine, you're newly 18 and starting your adult life - you're just kind of walking around, maybe on your way to community college or something, and a Kindly Cosmic Horror picks you up, carries you to a fancy hotel where you are given several really excellent meals and maybe receive a series of vaccinations, then you are dropped into a resource-rich area approximately nearby where the first Kindly Cosmic Horror picked you up. This is how life is for young Virginia possums every spring.
penmeetspage reblogged
*in Steve Irwin’s voice* Crikey! Usually I would recommend hesitation in handling strange reptiles but this one? I’d wrestle with this tasty bloke any day of the week!
“New crocolate guy just dropped.”
Surely you mean new chocolate guy?
“i do not.”
penmeetspage reblogged
Linen tennis dress, 1873
penmeetspage reblogged
laurnafreya-deactivated20220113
HOW TO SEW SLEEVES WITHOUT WANTING TO MURDER EVERYTHING: A TUTORIAL
Someone asked that this be rebloggable so HURR YOU GO
Some patterns are really dumb in telling you to finish the body of an outfit, then finish the sleeve, then attach a circle to a circle. It’s possible to do, and once in a while it’s necessary, don’t get me wrong, but unless you have a lot of experience it’s sometimes very aggravating trying to evenly distribute the sleeve around the “hole” cut out for it and match up the seams under the armpit!
(Please note…some patterns, especially to achieve tailored looks, require you to do it the traditional way. Don’t use this method for fashion school assignments or super-complex garments as it will probably screw up the way it ends up fitting in the end. This is mostly for the use of cosplayers to make their job a little easier.)
EDIT:// thevvioletprince, a fashion student, says she’s been taught this method in school so HAVE FUN, NEVER MIND
EDIT DEUX:// If you are doing a traditional garment of some kind, for instance, something that has a multi-piece sleeve or that requires gathers, you may need to do it the “old-fashioned way”!
ANYWAY SO THIS IS WHAT I DO.
PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE SOURCE OR REPOST, THANK YOU
penmeetspage reblogged
Oooh! Victorian burn!
(source: The Atchison Globe, January 10, 1882.)
penmeetspage reblogged
Okay not only is this a bop but it single handedly raised my self confidence