Chuuya: Dazai isn't my "friend with benefits". He's more like my antagonist with benefits.
Chuuya: Or maybe I'm his antagonist?
Chuuya: ...
Chuuya: Basically, we antagonise each other. It's hot.
incorrectbungoustraydogs reblogged
mushitaro: my life is in the hands of an idiot! atsushi, pointing to himself and kyouka: no no no, TWO idiots!
incorrectbungoustraydogs reblogged
Y/n, talking to Dazai on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Dazai: You bet!
Y/n: At what temperature?
Dazai: 535.
Y/n: That's the clock.
Dazai:
Y/n:
Dazai: 536
incorrectbungoustraydogs reblogged
dazai: when I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
[name]: what?
dazai: I wanna be on buzzfeed unsolved.
[name]: can we go back the part where you said "when I get murdered"?
Dazai: Wow. Can't say I've ever met a bonafide, for-real Grinch in person before. Didn't think it was actually possible for a living creature to legitimately hate Christmas.
Akutagawa: Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.
Akutagawa: I have to kill you.
Atsushi: W-why?!
Akutagawa: I don't know how to hit on you, so you have to die.
Chuuya: are you seeing anyone?
Dazai, smirking: haha, no... Why? 👀
Chuuya: I don't know, I think a therapist would be good for you.
Dazai: *accidentally brushes Chuuya's hand*
Chuuya: *aggressively holds Dazai's hand*
Chuuya: fucking commit to it!
High Spirits
Chuuya texting Dazai: God, this assignment sucks, bring the strongest booze you can find
Dazai: k
An hour later
Chuuya bursting in covered in soot: A FUCKING MOLOTOV!?!
Atsushi: I don't like myself
Dazai: That's very common
Atsushi: Really?
Dazai: Oh yeah, loads of people don't like you
Atsushi:
*Yosano staring at her reflection in a building window while fixing her hair*
Random female passerby: Don't stress it queen, you look absolutely stunning
Yosano: Oh, I'm not insecure, just incredibly vain; thank you though!
incorrectbungoustraydogs reblogged
Naomi: I was tied up and threatened to be blown up once and I loved it!
Aya, probably: You wouldn't like it so much if it weren't just your brother playing pretend! >:(
Chuuya, making a sign for Dazai's birthday, running late: I'm not even done painting that damn sign! It says "Dazai's bi" -actually no, that's good. We're ready.
Poe: Look how beautiful the stars are tonight!
Ranpo: They're just giant balls of gas-
Poe: Oh. You're not going to ruin this, are you?
Ranpo:
Ranpo: But none of them are as big as my love for you
Poe, tearing up: Oh??
About to enter private property
Dazai: It says "no trespassing", but I'm allergic to the rules.
Chuuya: And dairy.
Dazai: Wow. Okay. Just expose me.
Dazai, pointing at Akutagawa and Gin: Mori said I am the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans. What does that mean?
Chuuya: It means you're the second worst thing that happened to those orphans.
Dazai: But what's the first worst thing?
*pause*
Chuuya: Dazai, they... They weren't always orphans.
Dazai: