God gave all his "would put my dick in a blender" people vaginas bc he knows whatd we do.

Ur honor id slang it in the meat processor

i come from the 8tracks generation where you weren't allowed to just dump three and a half twee indie folk/tswift records into a fanmix and call it done. on 8tracks you had 8+ handpicked songs in rigid chronological order and an accompanying mission statement and thesis defence detailing exactly why each one applied to your derek x stiles coffee shop au AND cover/track-list art hodgepodged from stolen pinterest/tumblr aesthetic photography, and all of this was done under constant threat of death because it was the DMCA wild west and the site was in a constant state of gradual collapse.

i was trying to perspective scale timothee as a bit but for some reason it just keeps making him chadlier why is it giving him the call of pussy treatment

I hate work I should be at the (remembers I don't want to go to the club) the imagination

you think people actually have sex? naked and everything? I have to laugh.

pregnancy happens when two clear-headed adults sign a contract and shake hands, much like a business merger

i think iphones should moan when they receive airdrops

this post has brought a lot of unwanted attention to me

reddit is entering like an inverted renaissance of bad posting. this is one of the best/worst posts ive seen in a long time

i am also constantly saying that we should eliminate 96% of men from the gene pool

I love this cos male pattern baldness is so trivial?? Like not using anything rare and debilitating as something to make your point, no hairloss is our most signifigant genetic problem. I love it

Eugenics is evil no matter the target but it says so much about the writer that they went for baldness as their example instead of like, cystic fibrosis. The poster child for easy-to-track, extremely debilitating recessive conditions. Guy tried to market eugenics and didn't even take the low-hanging fruit.

side note: women also carry the male pattern baldness gene in approximately equal amounts to men, it just isn't expressed. So you'd be sterilising 96% of the total population in his example. Which I'm certain would not basically destroy modern society it would be fine.

> mom spilled trace amount of curry powder on the floor

> cool ok ill sweep it up in a sec

> go to the bathroom, come back

> curry powder is suspiciously less

> cat is suspiciously yellow

artistic recreation

OP, I loved this so much that I embroidered it

do NOT feel bad abt scarfing down a tub of raspberries. there is NO reason at all to ration them like other delicious treats bc they WILL mold as soon as theyre out of your line of sight

tumblr is the best site bc it got baddies living like complete incels

You know what, since I'm thinking about it anyways, let's talk formalwear accessories. Most of these are traditionally menswear but a bit of gender fuckery is good for the soul, and frankly most of these are about making your mass-produced clothing fit and lay properly without having to go to the tailor.

Shirt stays: these go around your thighs to hold your shirt down, so that it stays smooth and tucked in. They're usually elastic, with 1-3 clips, and if you wear skirts frequently this is a GREAT way to make sure your top doesn't ride up. The clips will be visible if you're wearing something tight, so loose pants or skirts are where these do best. There's also an insane version that clips to your socks, but that is for lunatics. If you wanted, you could also use one of these clips to hold up thigh-highs.

These do a great job of smoothing and narrowing the waist area by keeping your shirt from bunching there.

Sleeve garters: usually metal, leather, elastic, or silk. These are usually worn with button-down shirts to adjust where your cuff falls on the wrist or hand. They're properly worn on the upper arm, and you pull the fabric of the sleeve above the garter until you cuff is where you want it. Because this creates a puff of sleeve at the bicep, it also broadens the appearance of the shoulders. It's great if you're working with your hands or if your sleeves are often too long for your preference.

Waistband clip or belt adjustment clip/buttons

Three different ways of tightening the waistband of a pair of pants or a skirt. You're not going to get more than an inch or so tighter without weird bunching, and for most of these you'd want them to be hidden under a shirt or jacket, but they do the job if that's something you're having issues with.

Collar pins: There are so many fun ones out there, both with and without chains. They're not terribly practical, though the slight weight may help keep your collar where you want it. Also consider collar tips, which pin (surprise) to the very tips of your collar points.

Sweater clips/guards: meant to hold your sweater or cardigan mostly closed. Great if your cardigan doesn't button, or if you don't like it to be buttoned all the way.

There's tons of other stuff out there like this--etsy is a great place to find this stuff. A lot of these are old solutions to the very modern problem of mass-maufactured clothes not being as one-size-fits-all as advertised, but they're also a fun way to put a bit of personality into businesswear.

In case anyone is curious, you can put 27 toddler socks on a lazy cat and she won’t move.

23 ski caps and didn’t budge. 😺

Four remotes a box of floss and a battery.

Another cat

many oranges

Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?

no way i must have missed an update!

The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal

You know what to do boys

we dont even get 9/11 off of work. like i guess you were never THAT sad about it

the simplicity of lactase supplements is so funny to me. it costs like $4 to circumvent evolutionary biology. want to eat dairy but your body doesn’t produce the enzyme necessary to digest lactose? the devs haven’t patched that yet but you can download a mod

Congratulations! You are now a Magic-User!!