Ask "Charming" David

ask-charming-david​:

David let out a long sigh. Okay. Jefferson was anxious, that much was abundantly clear. He’s said a few times now that he wanted rules. The lack of them seemed to be exacerbating his anxiety. But the idea of imposing rules like Jefferson was a slave or a child felt so deeply, deeply wrong to him. They were equals, David should not be imposing rules and regulations on him. 

But… if that’s what Jefferson needed to feel stable? What other choice did he have? They could at least discuss it. Simple things, things that were good for him, that he’d likely choose to do anyways. “It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. Would… would you feel less anxious if we came up with some…” gods, he didn’t want to say it, “some… rules? For you?” He’d been stripped of his free will for so long, David supposed he could understand how a sudden lack of structure might leave him feeling untethered. “If it would really help, if it’s what you want, we can do that.” He watched the way he held himself, anxious. Would… would he want a hug? He’d ask him, once they figured the rest of this out.   

He looked up at the question, a bit of his relieved disbelief oozing off of him for a moment, then he got a grip on his ability again and locked his emotions up. The situation was hard enough as it was without making mistakes like that.

“Yes? Please, David?” He couldn’t dare to believe it yet, but a bit of hope came to his eyes, to his posture. He still hugged himself, but his shoulders sagged forward a little less. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t have missions. Everything’s confusing. Things are different. I look at them and think they’ll be something, but they’re always little off. Or a lot. Things are never what I expect them. I don’t… I don’t know. I’m lost,” he repeated, hoping against hope that David would understand and help. His metal fingers dug into his bicep hard enough to form bruises.

He had no idea why he trusted David this much, to speak this openly to him.

ask-charming-david​:

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Jefferson.” He watched the way he ground his hands together – self-soothing, maybe? An outlet for his anxiety? “I know. I know you don’t know how right now, and that’s okay. I’ll help you. Whatever you need, I’m here. And there’s no rush.” Gods, he wanted to hold him. He wanted to sooth his fears and his anxieties. “How can I help?” He would do anything to help him, he just hoped he wasn’t going to ask for something that wouldn’t help, something that David would never do, like hurt him. 

He lowered his head, unable to look at David. Not like it mattered. His vision swam with the colors of David’s emotions. David was so loud, even when he said nothing.

“I just told you,” Jefferson said, defeated. He did, and was said no, and then David basically encouraged him to ask again. But why for? Was this some kind of test, or just a way to play with him? To get a chance to deny him again? Jefferson’s lips trembled, but he sighed. “Rules help. Corrections help. I’m sorry, David.”

He used his name instead of a title. But it seemed pointless. His hands slipped up on his arms, under his sleeves - metal on skin, skin on metal. Hugging himself, to an extent. He wondered how it would feel if David did that to him instead. He bet it’d be nice; but that was also a pointless fantasy. He’d never be brave enough to ask something as outrageous as that.

ask-charming-david​:

David’s heart squeezed as Jefferson spoke, as it so often did when he spoke of the horrors of Wonderland. The punished him for thinking. Gods. How would they have even known his thoughts? Or did they just punish him for the sake of it with that as a bull shit excuse? And they’d punish him when he hadn’t even done anything wrong, just as a reminder. He wanted to burn the whole organization to the ground. And then Jefferson was asking for correction to stop him from… from what? What constituted a mistake in his mind right now? 

David’s eyes widened for a moment before slamming shut. Master. He felt sick. His heart hurt, and he simultaneously wanted to hold Jefferson in his arms and never let him go, and find the bastards that did this to him. His hands squeezed into fists in his lap, wanting so desperately to reach out, but knowing his touch would be unwelcome right now. He made his hands relax after a moment, not wanting Jefferson to see, and opened his eyes again to look at him. “Please don’t call me that.” His voice was low and broken. He swallowed, making sure his voice came out calm and normal when he spoke again. “I’m not angry at you. It’s okay. But please… just call me David, okay?” He gave him a weak smile. “And you haven’t been causing problems. You can think and say whatever you like. There isn’t… some allowed pattern of behaviour or thought here. You’re your own person. You’re your own master, Jefferson.”  

He expected bright red anger. Instead a nauseating, green disgust emanated from David, mixed with ochre pain and blue sadness and yes, there was the red of anger but also… he also got purple, for some kind of longing that Jefferson wasn’t sure he understood from David.

Jefferson just didn’t understand. Anything.

“I’m sorry, David.” But it was the point. Without corrections, he’d keep making mistakes like that. He’d called David ‘Sir’ before and was told to not do that, to use his name. Jefferson… well, he didn’t forgot, but he wasn’t reminded of that, so he slipped and made a mistake by not using David’s name.

GIF by pooslie

Originally posted by pooslie

He clasped his hands together, wriggling his wrists to grind his palms against each other, to ground himself through his own touch. Self-soothing.

“I can’t,” he admitted through gritted teeth. “I don’t know how to do that, David. I’m… I’m lost.”

ask-charming-david​:

David nodded a few times with a vague hum of acknowledgement, looking unseeingly at the tv, staunchly avoiding her eyes. He knew that, obviously, and Ruby knew that he knew. He’d known for a long time. She’d told him a long time ago. It was obviously an inane leading question, and she could probably hear his stupid racing nervous heartbeat. “That’s… that’s good.” He paused, took a breath, completely aware of how stupid and not-casual he sounded. “So, uh. Just curious. No reason. Um. How’d you know? That you were bi.”

Ruby reached for the remote and turned off the TV she knew neither of them was watching. This was a serious conversation. She had come out to him nearly twenty years ago and he hadn’t asked questions, just accepted it and immediately became her wingman when they were out at bars. She hadn’t told him before because he hadn’t asked and because he and Snow had gotten together around the same time she came out to him, but he was her best friend and she knew she could tell him anything. “Well, I always knew I was attracted to men. Then one night in college Snow and I went out to some party. We got really drunk and walked back to our dorm together. Before I knew what I was doing I was kissing her. It was… magical almost the way it opened my eyes. But she let me down gently and told me there was someone else she was interested in.” Ruby grinned and nudged David so he knew he was the one. “After that though I realized I had always noticed girls the same way I did guys. It wasn’t until that night that I realized it meant I was attracted to them and could act on it. And I’ve been acting on it ever since.” She gave a little shrug to finish her story and looked to David to gauge his reaction.