Who I Am With You
Ship - James Hetfield x Reader
Tags - Fluff, angst, doubt, crying, and possibly a curse word or two
Fic Aesthetic - Yours truly
“Hey Shawn, can I get another coke, please?”
James pushed his glass towards the bartender and watched as he filled it up to the brim. Shawn eyed him warily while he dried a freshly washed mug with a towel.
“You’re in here awful late James, Everything okay with the missus?”
James let out a long, heavy sigh. Truth be told, there was a lot going that he just didn’t know how to fix. He wasn’t even sure if there was anything wrong. Metallica’s latest album was coming along nicely, right on schedule in fact, but that meant he was away from home more than he’d like to be. Y/N, his beautiful, supportive wife, had been a little more distant than usual, and it worried him.
“I don’t know Shawn. Y/N’s been more reserved lately, and I think it’s because of me. This new album is what Metallica needs, ya know? Metallica’s been my baby for over twenty-five years now. It’s all I ever had to worry about really. Ever since I married Y/N, I’ve had to divide my time, and I don’t think I’m very good at it. I try, I really do, but I think she’s getting fed up with me.”
James took a long pull of his coke, relishing the taste of the refreshing liquid. He set the glass on the coaster provided to him and watched as a bead of condensation slid down the outside of it. Shawn leaned against the counter. He gave James a knowing glance before clearing his throat.
“You wanna know what I think you should do?”
James ran a hand over his face and looked at the bartender desperately.
“I’ll take any advice you got, Shawn. I can’t lose her.”
Y/N hated waking up alone. It made her miss her husband even more, and even though she hated to admit it, she was starting to become jealous of the other members of Metallica. It seemed like they got to see James more than her. It made her feel guilty because she knew they were hard at work on the new album, but on the other hand, she wanted just a little time with him every once in a while.
As much as she wanted to stay in bed and mope all day, she had other responsibilities to take care of. If not her, who else would pay the necessary bills for the month? Sighing she got up and slid on the nearest clean clothes and threw her hair into a messy bun.
Other than paying the rent and the utilities, all she had to do today was pick up a couple things at the grocery store. After that, she would be home by herself until James pulled in around ten thirty.
About halfway to the store, her cell phone rang, lighting up with her Mom’s face on it. She always swore her Mother had a sixth sense or something. Whenever she was feeling upset or troubled about something she would call her. Hitting the answer button on her Bluetooth stereo, her mother’s voice filled the interior of her SUV.
There really wasn’t any point in hiding the disappointment in her voice, so she didn’t. Her Mother sighed sympathetically, once again expressing how much she longed to be with her only living daughter. Ever since Y/N’s younger sister lost her life in a freak accident, her Mom and she have become closer.
“What’s going on sweetie? Did you and James get in a fight again?”
Part of her wished that was the case. At least then she would have an excuse to be as upset as she was. The truth was, James was being more romantic than usual, and it only made her want him around all the time that much more. She knew that was impossible, especially in his line of work.
“No, Mom that’s just it. We haven’t been fighting.”
The emotion in her voice was evident, hot tears streaming down her face as she pulled the car over. Y/N covered her face with her hands as sobs racked her body.
“Y/N, sweetheart, what’s going on? Do you need me to come up? I can call the store and let my boss know that there’s a family emergency. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I stayed for a few days.”
She took a deep shaky breath and did the best to dry her eyes. Even if her Mom came to stay, it still wouldn’t solve the distance issue between her and James. She swallowed thickly, pulling her vehicle back onto the main road. Screw going to the store today. She’d do it tomorrow when she had more motivation. All she wanted to do right now was go home and soak in a nice hot bath.
She didn’t expect to find James’ truck in the driveway when she turned onto her street. She suddenly got a horrible feeling in her gut that something was wrong. He was never home this early, let alone done writing and recording. Y/N pulled her SUV in behind his truck, threw it in park, and rushed towards the slightly ajar front door. Once inside she couldn’t believe her eyes. Her purse hit the linoleum, contents scattering different directions.
There, clad in his best dress pants and button-up shirt, stood her husband. He was just lighting the last candle on their dining room table. He’d prepared a homemade meal, poured one of his oldest bottles of red wine in glasses, and he even dimmed the lights before lighting scented candles.
James smiled, looking her up and down, as he started towards her. His snaked one of his large hands behind her head freeing her hair from the confines of her ponytail. He watched wondrously as her long red locks cascaded down her shoulders. How he got this lucky, he’d never know.
“I’m sorry if I startled you Y/N, I just had to see you.”
He kissed her long and slow, savoring the moment between them. She pulled away to look into his loving, ocean-colored eyes.
“It’s okay, baby. I just … what is all this?”
James cradled her face in his hands. He knew she missed him. It pained him how long he had to be away, but he knew he could still be doing more for her. More things like leaving her little notes in the morning for her to wake up to, calling her throughout the day just to hear her voice and see how she’s doing, and coming home early every once in a while to make her dinner. She did most of the work for them financially anyway.
“Y/N, I first want to apologize to you. I know I’ve been gone most of the time since Metallica started to write their latest album. I hate to see you hurt when I’m gone. It breaks my heart to see the pain I’ve caused you. I can be better. I can be the man you need, hell, I want to be the man you fell in love with all those years ago. Starting right now, I’m going to prove it to you. Tonights all about you baby. I’m gonna show you how much you mean to me, because baby, who I am with you makes me a better man.
