*incoherent yelling*

AUS where Tim is a mini red hood my beloved…

Damian: Why is Jason crying on the floor?

Dick: He took one of those 'which Wayne are you?' quizzes.

Damian: And?

Steph: He got Tim.

---

Jason: Who the fuck-

Alfred: Language!

Jason: Whom the fuck-

Alfred: No.

---

Tim: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

---

Jason: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly?

Duke: It’s 3 am, please go back to sleep.

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

I like to think that whenever Tim and Jason patrol together people call them Robin Hood.

Like-

And, even better, Tim and Jason don't care.

random street interviewer, not recognising Tim or Bernard:

Interviewer (I): Hi! Were with xxxxx do you have time to answer some questions? We’re doing a survey on the average Gothamite’s clothing and knowledge of pop culture.

Tim (T): *so used to doing official interviews he doesn’t even question it and agrees, Bernard (B) thinks its funny so also agrees*

T: How’s that going for you?

I: I’ve dodged 3 knives already. Your the 4th pair we’ve spoken to

T&B: Yeah that tracks

I: SO, the Waynes, who’s your fav?

T: *stiffling laughter as it truly dawns on him the interviewer has no idea* Cass.

I: The one who doesn’t talk?

T: yep.

I: Oh, ok. Because shes hot?

T: Nope.

I: Uhm. Ok. And you? *shoves mic at Bernard*

B: *with a quick, sappy grin sent Tim’s way* Tim.

I: Oh, cool! The CEO?

B:Yep

I: Why?

B: Cos he’s hot.

T: *bright red* hmm.

I: Oh! Cool! Are the two of you a couple?

T&B: 8Shares a look, as theyre not neccessarily out but not neccessarily in the closet either, fianlly coming to a silent decision,* “Yeah.”

I: Oh great! Is TIm you’re celebirty crush, then?

B: *grinning mischevisoulsy* you could say that.

I: Well, your clothes! Could you tell me where you got them? *looks to Tim*

T: Yep so this shirt… *taps the baggy Tshirt* a Paramore consert a while ago, and the undershirt is from… somewhere i forgot. Jeans are… pinched from a friend I think, *indicates the baggy jeans* this hoodie *the Red hoodie wrapped around his waist* Idk. where did you get this, love? *turns to Bernard*

B: honestly, i’ve forgotten. Anyways, i got this from… *continues, similarly, his shirt is Tim’s*

I: Oh great thanks! And what about your skateboards? Do you two frequently go skating? Or is Gotham too dangerous?

T: Oh no, i skate all the time. You get used to just dodging rogues at some point, Anyways, the hero stickers get added each time a new one i like comes on the scene.

I: Nods

B: I like to skate! But i normally just go with Tim.

I: well thats all great, thanks for your time!

T: No prob.

The video gets posted online that night. The news that the practically unrecognisable Skater Star and CEO Tim Drake is queer goes viral. clips of bernard saying Tim is his fav wayne, and that the 2 are together gets clipped and edited and reposted consitantly for the next couple weeks, and Tim’s phone blows up from the Wayne gc, with a mix of complaints (that Cass is his fav and not them) and encouragements from his coming out. WE tries to get him to do a press conference regarding his sexuality. Tim takes a selfie at pride with bernard and a bi flag and posts it to all his Tim Drake accounts instead.

Kon: I like your new pants! Tim: Thanks, they were 50% off! Kon: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Tim: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Kon: Thats’s… not what I meant. Tim: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kon.

To tim, bart allen is the one who will share a look with him and do the absolutely insane idea tim just purposed, he is sugary drinks and sour candy, his fellow mad scientist, the smartest person he knows, the one who stay up all night listening to his theories, the one who doesn't even need to know the plan but will follow anyways, his imp

To bart, tim drake is the one who will never give up on him, a guy who will follow him to the end of the earth no matter how fast he goes, tim is just some guy to bart where the rest of the world sees him as The CEO billionare, he will always have a plan, will never tell bart to shut up, the one to teach him more of the past, he is zesti and anchovy pizza, his rob

Cassie: I like to think of myself as a semi-responsible adult here. Connor: Tim is 70% of your impulse control and you know this, Cassie. Tim: I feel like Cassie is the more responsible one of us two, though. Cassie: We are both 70% of each other's impulse control. Bart: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands, so the other doesn’t fall off.

undercuts

(ID under the cut!)

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restless

(id in alt text)

tim’s friends get him a proxy cuddle buddy for no-touch days

(why did it have to be a justice league dakimakura? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

they draw a mustache on it and name it “jal hordan”

sleepy:

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More fake screenshots! These are really fun to make.

Timkon Sun/Moon thing i just thought of

Tim watches Conner work from afar, his shirt loose, occasionally lifted from his skin by the whispering wind as his eyes scanned the Kryptonian's face.

With careful breaths, the third robin leans back against the railing as he listens to Conner rant about the farm life, and how one of the cows was being an utter bitch.

Reverse batbrothers incorrect quotes

Tim:"Hey Jay what does Rick roll mean?"

Jason:"You're kidding me" puts down the book he was reading "How do you not know what Rick roll means?"

Tim:"Give me a break I died"

Jason:"How do you know the entire Fnaf storyline but not simple slang?"

Tim:"Fnaf is the single most important series of my generation" wearing a Freddie hoodie

Cass: nods in agreement wearing a golden Freddy hoodie

Reverse Robins prompt if you're looking

Batman swears he doesn't want a partner. Until he meets Damian. Talia drops him off to be raised by Bruce and, as Bruce has no other kids, the two are free to train as they pleased. Damian grows up and moves out, taking his own section of Gotham to protect under his new, adult identity.

Batman, struggling to get himself reaccustomed to working without a partner, meets Tim.

Tim knows who they are and has been following them, taking pics and copying their moves to teach himself martial arts for years.

He's seen Batman having trouble and insists that he needs a new Robin.

Him.

After protesting and trying to chase him away, Bruce finds out just how alone Tim is at home and decides to take him up on it.

Damian feels replaced and is immediately antagonistic to Tim.

He hates how happy the damn kid always is.

He hates how Bruce is spending more time training him.

He hates how Alfred has changed typical meals that Bruce liked to remove seafood, which Tim is allergic to.

When Tim asks to train with him, Damian goes far too hard on him.

When Tim sleeps over and eventually moves in, having officially been adopted, Damian wastes no opportunity to remind him who the Blood Son is, and tell Tim that he's just a stand-in. Basically cannon fodder. Bruce didn't *really* love him. He'd just needed a soldier.

Over the next few years, Tim gradually grows stronger, but also more withdrawn and depressed.

Bruce takes in Jason and Tim starts going solo on patrol, but he always makes time to train/hang out with/play with Jason, wanting to be the big brother Damian had never been to him.

And then one night Tim never returns to the cave.

There's no call.

No heads up.

No distress signal.

No one knows where he is.

No one can find him.

Damian insists Tim must have just left and openly mocks him for trying to get attention or having not had the spine to quit face to face.

Until Damian finds him three weeks later, having been captured, tortured, and turned into Joker Jr.

Damian is horrified and ends up killing the Joker to save Tim, but its too late.

Tim dies in his arms waiting for help to arrive.

They're all grieving and devastated, but no one besides Jason blames Damian for Tim's death to his face, making Damian feel even worse.

He blames himself for not helping search for Tim.

He blames himself for failing to save him.

He blames himself for being a bully, rather than a brother.

He finally has to take a break from being a vigilante and moves back to Nanda Parbat, throwing himself into his training and confessing what happened to his mother and grandfather.

When he's feeling able to resume his job again, Damian moves back to the manor and life goes on as much as it can.

They all still miss Tim.

But they're learning to live without him.

Talia and Ra's, seeing how rattled and off his game Damian was, decide to follow him back to Gotham, steal Tim's body, and see if they can revive him in a Lazarus Pit.

Tim comes back to life, but instead of returning home immediately, he watches them from a distance.

Damian has moved back home to the manor, despite having an apartment in the city.

Despite Bruce still having Jason.

Tim remembers how Damian used to treat him, all because he was adopted, and gets angry.

He becomes Red Hood, but while Jason!Red Hood's problem was that he wasn't avenged, Tim!Red Hood is more concerned with saving Jason from the abuse he had to endure from Damian.

He breaks into the manor one night as Red Hood, making sure to avoid every trap and alarm while still leaving obvious signs all over the cave and the manor, wanting to send the message 'I know you're Batman. I was in your house while you were asleep. I'm dangerous, and I know all your tricks.'

And then he goes upstairs to kidnap Jason.

Jason is overjoyed to find out Tim is alive, but right as Tim's about to take him and leave, another little kid is suddenly in the room.

Jason explains that Dick recently lost his family and Bruce took him in.

Tim knows he has to save both boys, but now is also even more caught off guard.

He'd spent so long trying to tell Damian that he was wrong, that Bruce really did love him like a son.

But the fact that he'd not only been replaced, but Bruce was still sending kids into battle, even after what happened to him was too much.

Tim tries to kidnap them both, but Dick, who's never met Tim before, gets scared and runs to Damians room for help.

Damian fights off the intruder, but then Tim's helmet falls off/Jason says his name/Damian recognizes the fighting style/he somehow finds out that he's fighting Tim and freezes, allowing him to escape.

Damian is shocked that Tim's alive and he and Bruce work to find him and bring him home.

Only, Tim doesn't want to come home.

Not when Damian is there.

Not with Bruce and Alfred, who never did enough to protect him.

But...

He finally accepts, solely to protect Jason and Dick.

So the family gets to work towards the second chance they never thought they'd get, Tim gets a family who loves him, and Jason and Dick get a very protective older brother.

stone cold facts