im really sorry i havent been on lately. ive been real busy with work and other rl obligations. ive hit a real low in my life and im trying to pick myself up again. i made a new, slow paced blog that i dont take as seriously as i do with bucky, so if anyone wants to reach me, send me an ask and ill shoot yu a link.

               ❝You didn’t have to come today.❞ Steve responds casually, but the smile on his lips is soft. He’s completely infatuated with James Barnes and he was starting to become very okay without. A squeeze to his bicep has his heart skipping a beat.

               He looked back up at Rebecca as she moves to leave. He returns a small wave, grinning lopsidedly at her. She’s sweet. Spunky. He could see her giving the world Hell if it messed with her or her brother. He’s glad that he isn’t seen as a threat or problem. Steve liked the idea of being approved of. He looked forward to spending time with her one on one.

               However, a sharp glint takes his eyes as Mark stared at James in what Steve would consider a predatory way. If they were lesser animals, he might have even snapped his jaw at him. But they were human and all the ex-militant could do was stare pointedly.

               An apology catches his attention and he’s once again drawn to Bucky. Quite smoothly, Steve covers his daughters eyes with one hand and pulls the teacher in by his shirt collar. He kisses him passionately, Amelia giggling and wiggling in his grasp as she knows exactly what’s happening. “Daddy!” She squeaks happily. She tugs his hand off her eyes just as her dad is pulling back.

               ❝Now let’s go eat.❞

               Amelia was not the particularly forgive sort of child. That she got completely from her powerful mother. Her face lets go of the absolute disdain but a smile doesn’t return. Instead, she stays in a deadpan, eyes looked on Becca. Winning this little girl over was going to take some time. It had taken her a month in to school to actually talk to her teacher. She wasn’t shy as much as she was weary. For just a third grader, she had already been disappointed by many people in her life.

               Rebecca takes Steve’s hand to shake and he chuckles at being called unfun. ❝Sorry to disappoint. I’m much more of a protective than possessive kind of person. James doesn’t belong to me. I’m just lucky he lets me hold his hand, really.❞ He’s looking over at the other man with a gentle grin before watching the interaction between Amelia and the sister. His daughter simply darts behind him, gripping on to his pinky.

               ❝Her name is Amelia. She gets a little shy sometimes.❞ He reaches back and cups her head so she knows he’s got her. He whispers a couple things to her as the Barnes’ sibling bicker. It seems to make her more at ease and he even gets a bit of a giggle out of her. So, when they return, the little girl is standing more where she can be seen.

               He’s about to interject about lunch when another man appears. Something about him is completely unsettling to Steve and discovering that this is Rebecca’s boyfriend doesn’t make it any less so. As he watches the way Mark stares James down, it hits him. Mark is as queer as a two dollar bill. Not only that, but as an openly gay man himself, Steve can tell that he’s got a particular interest in Bucky.

               The comic book writer, though a soldier seems to apply much better, steps forward and puts a hand on the middle of his date’s back. He’s letting him know he’s there. That he sees it and has every intention of protecting him from something that makes him uncomfortable. ❝We wouldn’t have been able to eat lunch with you anyways, I’m afraid. I packed a picnic. It was supposed to be a surprise.❞

               A soft laugh escapes him and he rubs the back of his head. ❝Surprise! I guess.❞ He draws the people he cares for in a little closer, eyes turning to Rebecca. ❝Absolutely. We’ll plan a time for the two of us to chat one on one.❞

• ☾ ★ ┆ STEVE. ☽

               He’s glad that Bucky isn’t upset, or angry, or anything like that. He’s still slightly worried. He doesn’t want Bucky to think bad of him, like he was leading him on or like he had second thoughts or anything like that. He knows how much he likes Bucky. How much he wants him. He just… well. He’s a tiny bit frightened of all that.

“You really don’t mind?” He murmurs, moving to flop onto his side, face to face with Bucky, their arms around each other. He kisses him gently, pulling back only a small way, their noses still touching, his eyes a little crossed just to see him better. “I didn’t… I mean, I didn’t want to, uh– I just didn’t wan to rush, I guess.”

• ☾ ★ ┆ JAMES. ☽

JAMES throat burned. not only at the fact that bucky was black, blue and RED over HIM – but because he wasn’t telling him. maybe he would let it out once they were back at home. but he doubted. he’d LIED after all. he had seen right through it, but his brother still lied to him. to protect him, sure – but he was a child when it came to bucky. he was raw in every emotion – and he was feeling so many of them in basic levels.  ( bucky could have been HURT. ) ( more than he already IS. ) FEET moving quickly so he could keep his back to his brother, he said nothing to him on their walk home. buchanan said nothing to him in return. why couldn’t they had just gone to eat the stupid special and come home? why did people have to CONCERN themselves with them. ( he’d have to find a girl. this was endangering BUCKY. ) throat working as the door wa shut, he was slower to remove his jacket. lining up his shoes nice. he looked over at bucky.  STANDING there with the crushed handkerchief – blood still dried on his face and body bruised and swollen. even though he had changed the conversation with topic of food before – he wasn’t going to let bucky do it this time. he wasn’t hungry. they were inside now. james had felt the lock latch on his own – protected inside walls where no one could SEE them. moving towards his brother, his throat working and adams apple BOBBING as he reached out and cupped his face. eyes darting all over him. he was still panicked.  “forget food. ’s hurt?” he asked, voice a little soft. “d’n’t lie to me – buck.” the comment was doubled edged. about the EXPLANATION and about the PAIN. he rubbed his thumb underneath buchanan’s lip. 

• ☾ ★ ┆ STRANGER DANGER. ☽

THIS WAS a good time to realize how little she had actually known English. Living in Seoul, she predominantly spoke Korean. But recently she had taken a trip to the Americas as part of her career. Unfortunately for her, she had lost the whereabouts of her translator. Joy. Nevertheless, lucky she could understand at least a few of his words. And she shook her head.

“A–Ahh…..From—-Hanguk– Ah– South Korea.” She gave a bow to the other, as if apologizing for her lack of knowledge to his language.

• ☾ ★ ┆ STEVE. ☽

               It was odd, wanting to make sure James was still willing to continue this trip with them. For so long it’s only Amelia’s feelings he ever thought about, sometimes Peggy’s. Steve was a strong, independent, stubborn man. He spent so much of his younger years being a scrapper. He was elegant with his words now (when not stumbling over himself like an idiot) but in his past he was all fists. Parents both dying when he was young, he never learned much else.

               The squeeze to his palm makes all the stress die from Roger’s shoulders. This man was an absolute blessing. Perhaps all those prayers to God had gotten through and He had sent James Barnes, one of His very own angels, just for him.

               Amelia was in the middle of explaining to her father the ten reasons why the Red Pandas where her favorite part of the zoo when Steve felt Bucky let go. He turned around to see if something was wrong. A woman with long brunette hair and brilliant steel eyes was giving his date a kiss on the cheek. She doesn’t really pull away, keeping a hand on the other’s chest.

               There is not a single moment where Steve’s face turns unpleasant. He’s smiling widely and facing her dead on. The more he sees her, the more he understand. Amelia, on the other hand, is staring up at her with the ugliest little glare. She can’t help it. She’s only a third grader. She crosses her arm over her chest and lets out a loud sort of huff.

               Steve extends his hand for the woman to shake, trying to prove to his daughter there is no need to be so territorial. He didn’t own Barnes. He was his own man. Besides, he’d know those eyes anywhere. He’s been staring at them all day and it’s a bit funny to see them on a different person.

               ❝Hi, I’m Steven. You must be… a sister? I’m just guessing. You look so much a like. Both very attractive people. Definitely winning the genetic lottery.❞ His smile is so wide and genuine. Amelia’s death stare doesn’t waver.

               The little bar was hopping with people. The fact they found a table actually amazed Steve. The youth of this city had gathered up for a Saturday night out, living like they might be drafted tomorrow. He didn’t respond when Buchanan asked them a question. It seemed more rhetorical than anything else. Of course he wanted a drink. With the amount of girls already staring at the Barnes boys instead of their dates, he was going to need it.

               It was just a simple fact that Rogers was not as good looking as his best friends. Sure, he may not have been ugly, but he wasn’t what a dame wanted in her fella. Dating was apart of a social standard. The more charming, intelligent, and well built you were then the more dates you could get. Sleeping around didn’t get you any higher in status either. A man could screw every dame he meets and still wouldn’t be a considered a desirable date. You also had to be a good dance, something Buchanan (and James though he would never outwardly admit to it.) was amazing at.

               Steve had no idea if he himself was a good dancer. He had never danced with anyone, never got a yes in the past when he had asked a girl to dance. So now he stuck to his story of waiting for the right partner. It helped keep woman at a certain distance without making him seem absolutely queer.

               When it arrived, the scrawny young artist downed his ale like it was nothing. He was just about to request another one when a popping jay of a fella set a glass of scotch in front of him. “Hey, Rogers. Didn’t expect to run in to you.” The man is slightly taller than the twins, hair blonde with a ginger hue. His cheek bones are high and his dark brown eyes are locked of Steve’s face. He doesn’t even seem to notice the other two.

               Giving an awkward sort of half grin, Steve slides off his coat feeling too warm in this crowd. ❝Yeah. I’m out on a triple date with my friends.❞ He accepts the scotch, sipping at it. The other guy seems to lean in to the smaller one just a bit. “So… You think you could give me another art lesson if you’re free tomorrow. You haven’t called since the last one.” Steve changes from sipping the scotch to quickly finishing it off and pushing it back in to the strawberry blond’s hands.

               ❝I don’t know. We can talk about it later, Alan.❞ He clears his throat and looks away, making it clear it’s time for Alan to walk away. The man takes the hint and drifts off in to the crowd. There is another throat clearing cough and he looks at Buchanan. ❝What exactly do these girls look like? I mean, maybe they’re here and we just don’t see them.❞

HE’S hoping they got stood up. TERRIBLE, he knows – but it was his hope. there were no girls, and they were expecting a date. maybe they were doing their hair. or their dress ripped. or they were like buchanan and spent hours in front of the mirror – wanting to be just RIGHT. he snickered a little ot himself at his private joke on his brother’s behalf. james sat close to his brother, legs spread under the table so their knees were touching. he was about to open up with something to say to bucky – when someone was TALKING to steve.  EYES settled on the other, he looked him over. automatically wondering if this guy was here to pick a fight with steve – or even BUCKY ( the damn dame stealer ) – he sized him up. confident he could put him in his place if he started a row, he stared at him with cold eyes. and eavesdropped. ART LESSONS. that sounded like bullshit. was he getting paid for them? why was he coming up to steve like some kind of predator about ART LESSONS?  JAMES hand came over to pinch his brother’s thigh. jerking his head in steve’s direction, he said nothing for a beat when the conversation was directed back to them – and the man driven away. too busy thinking about the guy. steve. their group date.  “s’if BUCK w’uld miss a dame,” he murmured – voice sour as he stood up suddenly. “gimmie y’re wallet. m’a go get the drinks,” james was already reaching down and shoving his hand in his brother’s jacket and heading up front – not waiting for a girl to come round and take an order because suddenly he needed to WALK. 

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