i may not be gods strongest warrior but there is all sorts of bullshit that he makes me deal with and i hndle it not very well usually

I hate hate hate hate how dog friendly everything is in the city now. Barring medical necessity, there is no reason to bring your dog to a restaurant, there is no reason to bring your dog to the grocery store, there is no reason to bring your dog to the nail salon. Dogs do not need to go everywhere you go why am I being forced to be around dogs all the time

The worst part is the degree to which city people will aggressively fearmonger about crime while also bringing their dog everywhere. Bestie you're more than twice as likely to get sent to the hospital by a dog bite than you are by anything a human does the danger is coming from inside the house

Statistically speaking, homeless people are far less dangerous than dogs but the average city liberal would kill a dozen homeless people to save a single stupid french bulldog it's so bleak I can't stand dog people

Based on the replies to this post I am now convinced that "keep your damn dog at home" is a very much a silent majority position

the problem with not voting in order to send the message that you hate all the candidates and the entire system and therefore refuse to participate is that it's completely indistinguishable, as a signal, from not bothering to vote because you think the system is great and all the candidates are great and you'd be fine with any of them. so you might want to rethink the strategy there

This, by the way, also implies the converse problem: that it's very easy to attribute to active and reflexive dissent what's only apathy and indifference.

i want to give this a shoutout for being one of a very few comments in over seven thousand notes to say something really interesting that's responding to the actual content of the post instead of what people imagine i'm saying here

*sees a cop wounded by his car* omg!!! *rushes to the car and picks up the dispatch radio* OMG hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!~~ ^-^

a, like no.

im gonna like respond appropriately and handle the situation effectively.

i'd put the radio microphone in my mouth and make loud kazoo noises

midwest transmasc t4t couple

I love the prose and verbage of this post. The first line is almost iambic, gives it rhythm. Word choices like "really odd women" and "seems to have access to" frames the speaker as an outside observer, and establishes a tone of playful curiosity.

The lack of punctuation says casual, but the overall flow hints at poetry. We get a fun little half-serious observation about family guy, and then the author caps it off with a word like "minxy." What a choice. Delightfully anachronistic, yet nails of the particular air of disheveled blase glamour evoked by these screenshots.

CT, i love you, i defend and support you, you are my friend forever and you made a turkish dish for me while i was high. but i think i understand why people want to kill you. it’s the jock response. everything you’re saying here is authentic and sincere but that makes me uncomfortable and i am going to shove you in a locker overnight. i hope that’s okay with you

I know my role as the comically arrogant twink heel, and wear it with pride befitting an artist of my station. Still friends, darling?

no. i was gonna say yes but then you had to pull out the. italics. you talk like a michelin star restaurant reviewer and a warhammer redditor had a child and left it in the woods to be raised by people who say “Oh my Gods!!”

I don’t know who this guy is but I’m obsessed with him and have been scrolling through his reviews for the past half hour

The year is 2030.

At the Cincinnati stop of her "world tour", Taylor Swift ends her set. As she walks off the stage, she leans into a nearby mic and says "oh by the way, I'm lesbian".

She's still milking a public relationship with a man named Chett Whitesman, so this is met with a combination of cheers and confusion. Immediately, the media mobilizes. They have to intercept her before she gets onto her private jet, and ambush her for an interview. Luckily, this has become much easier these days. Since the release of her 2027 album, "The Carbon Emissions of my Heart", T Swizzle has performed a ritual sacrifice of an endangered species on live camera every time she boards her jet, a #girlboss way of saying that her emotional pain can only be healed by the tortured screams of drowning polar bears.

(Since this practice started, a devoted faction of Swifties have started a carbon negative algae farming commune, with the express intent of negating taytay sweezie's contributions to climate change. Apparently "her tortured soul deserves to pollute without guilt". They haven't even come close to their goals.)

Taytor Twift is intercepted after this ritual, as she's walking up the steps of her plane. When asked what the lesbian statement was about, she nonchalantly says "oh, I thought it was clear that was a joke. Anyways, G T G!" , before biting into the still beating heart of an emperor penguin.

During her flight, discourse on the newly renamed twitter-X-ElonIsExtremelyVirile Corp goes nuclear like it never has been before.

There's a camp of swifties thoroughly convinced that her relationship with Chett is all a beard so that she can still keep touring in the New Christian Republic of Florida, and the interview at the plane was deepfaked.

A different camp of Swifties feels insulted and betrayed that she would be anything less than a paragon of allyship. To them, this is the worst slight the queer community has ever experienced.

A third camp of Swifties insists that she *is* dating Chett, and is also a lesbian. They get insulted that anyone would police Taylor's labels. Comparisons to the Boulder, Colorado shooter are made.

A group of non Swifties tries to point out that everyone is fucking insane and that 'ole taytay regularly tear gases pride rallies to make way for her promenade to stadium venues, and who the fuck cares about this shit and point out that what a billionaire celebrity does for five minutes of PR is not worth your attention or discourse, nor does it warrant harassing other people for the labels *they* use, and isn't it really fucked up that Taylor is making a joke of how people describe their identities? They are promptly doxxed, harassed, and banned.

Bi lesbian discourse is off the charts. Nothing Taylor said has anything to do with it, but it happens anyways.

A lone transsexual who actually goes outside once in a while tweets "hey guys isn't it kinda fucked up that 2.4 billion people have been displaced by mega storms this year that her jet contributes to and is also specifically designed to fly over" and is promptly doxxed and harassed off the platform.

After an exhausting 9 minute plane ride, Tailing Swiffer lands in Columbus for the next performance of her world tour. She unveils a new single that contains the line "ride my horse after dumping him, stepping up onto my SAD dle".

All is forgotten. All is quiet. The Swifties continue as usual, moving on to the next discourse about these lyrics.

Every time this post gets a bump in notes I think of this tweet

SIERRA???

Yes?

Another example of how statistics are the Devil, and one must always be vigilant as to whether a claim of averages is referring to mean, median, or mode.

when i was a kid and i heard the word boysenberry i thought they were saying poisonberry and i was like WHY on earth would you make a pie out of poisonberries

When i was young every day was to struggle and my body malform from wicked experiments and no enough meals

im really sorry to hear that Hsu im here for you if you ever need me

I need you now

my favourite button ever is "open link in new tab"..

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

Posts from a 17th century chymist who's about to have their bones dissolved by hydrofluoric acid.

HYDROFLUORIC ACID MENTION‼️

DICKS OUT FOR HYDROFLUORIC ACID!!!

NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!!

Twitter / X

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

this is still some of the smoothest stealth combat gameplay i’ve ever seen in a fallout game and this madman is only level 5

“oh yeah, that’s good be a really good snipe-”

Same day book delivery

remote learning

I'm not like Mad at anyone who does this and I'm obviously not in charge of how anyone else tags shit on their own blogs, whatever, but it's always bummed me out when my sex Ed posts get reblogged and tagged with 18+, minors dni, etc. personally I actually very much want teenagers to learn about their bodies and safer sex but I guess I'm just the guy who wrote the thing.

by and large I am not an angry man but once I watched a fellow sex educator present to a room full of college students and, upon being gently challenged by one of the students who objected to them describing sex as something that happens between adults, said with very palpable disdain "I don't want to talk about kids fucking." and I was so angry about it that I made myself nauseous.

not just teens, either. every couple years I give up my Sundays for a few months to teach sex ed to 4th-6th graders, unpaid. and I don't do it because it's always fun or easy or great for my health, I do it because those are human people with changing bodies and feelings who deserve to have someone who gives a shit take the time to talk honestly with them so that they might make less painful mistakes later.

ah, this has gotten notes. now we begin a game of Is Someone Going To Call Me A Pedophile For This.

Teenagers have sex. It's a fact of life. One person's opinion on whether or not they should does not affect that they have, do, and will. I would rather they know shit like "precum can cause pregnancy and pulling out isn't effective birth control" and "putting on two condoms is actually less safe than just wearing one" and "HIV is treatable within 72 hours of exposure, and beyond that, regular HIV treatments result in effectively no chance of passing the virus to a sexual partner" than for them to go in blind and not know what questions to even ask.