Slytherin: you’ve heard of “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure”
Slytherin: but have you heard of “impulsive beyond idiotic is what makes Gryffindor so chaotic?”
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i cannot believe that i haven’t posted for like 2 months. i also can’t believe that the thing that brought me back to tumblr was fucking supernatural trending again because j2 got fucking divorced.
i’m gonna start posting again- i’m at my friends house having a sleepover right now so give me like a day but i’ll post again
*proceeds to not post again for a month*
Ravenclaw: Okay, I’m gonna need you to swear-
Slytherin: Fuck.
Ravenclaw, utterly fed up: ...
Ravenclaw: Swear as in promise.
i cannot believe that i haven’t posted for like 2 months. i also can’t believe that the thing that brought me back to tumblr was fucking supernatural trending again because j2 got fucking divorced.
i’m gonna start posting again- i’m at my friends house having a sleepover right now so give me like a day but i’ll post again
Slytherin: It’s moments like these I’ll never forget.
Ravenclaw: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.
*Gryffindor cooking*
Ravenclaw: Any chance that’s for me?
Gryffindor: It’s for Hufflepuff. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.
Slytherin: I never realised the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
Slytherin: So, if you guys have any complaints about the way I do things in this house, make sure to leave them in the suggestion box.
Gryffindor: Isn’t that the bin?
Slytherin: It sure is.
Hufflepuff: You better have a good explanation for this.
Ravenclaw: Actually, we have three.
Slytherin: Pick your favourite.
Gryffindor: Please, I’m begging you, go to the hospital.
Slytherin: Is this our stab wound?
Slytherin: No.
Slytherin: So stay out of it.
Slytherin: You know Ravenclaw, we make one hell of a team.
Hufflepuff: ‘Hell’ being the operative word.
Slytherin: Thanks for not telling Hufflepuff what happened.
Gryffindor: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.
Gryffindor: Sly, I need your help.
Slytherin: I have two words for you.
Gryffindor: And I’m guessing they won’t be helpful
Slytherin: Your problem.
Gryffindor: I was right.
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Ravenclaw: I wonder if certain laundry detergents have different tastes.
Slytherin: They do.
Ravenclaw: Wh- Why did you say that with such certainty?
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Gryffindor: Do you guys know where Slytherin is?
Ravenclaw: Given that it’s 5am, I’d say sleeping.
Gryffindor: Right, yeah. Does anyone know where they sleep?
Hufflepuff: I kinda always just assumed they sleep upside down off the ceiling somewhere in the basement.
Ravenclaw: They’re not a bat, Huff.
Gryffindor: So where do they sleep then?
Ravenclaw: ...
Ravenclaw: Check the basement...
reblogging a bunch of my old posts cause i’m too lazy to update my queue, bear (bare??) with me here
lesbiansforlupin reblogged
Gryffindor, at Slytherin's grave: May I have a few words with them?
Gryffindor: Listen here, you little shit. You've taken this game of hide and seek way too far.
Slytherin, six feet under: Aw, you're just salty that you got caught in the first five minutes.
lesbiansforlupin reblogged
Ravenclaw: There’s something weird going on with it your face.
Slytherin: What?
Ravenclaw: You’re smiling.
Ravenclaw: I didn’t know you could do that.