Land of Tides and Clefts

“Attempted to take a cute video of my cats licking each other and then this happened”

(via)

Scenery in The Long Dark 02/??

just smoked a full joint and i feel completely sober? what happened

Your high was randomly assigned to someone else it seems

an enlightened man 🙏 😇

This footage of Elmo after messing up a take on Sesame Street is peak relatable

In Elmo’s voice: “I only had three lines!”

Okay but please watch the whole video. It’s just over a minute.

1. Robin Williams making off-the-cuff jokes that are definitely not Sesame Street appropriate.

2. The slow zoom in on Elmo’s face at the end.

3. Robin Williams

[working link]

Robins Williams’ laughter in the background is the most heartwarming, mood lifting thing I have ever heard.

This is literally the best thing to see first thing after I wake up 😊

Like clockwork

i want to live (all origins)

“an estranged relationship with pleasure” he would do numbers on here

I'm often struck by the thought that even if Hozier hadn't made it in music, the likelihood of him becoming famous as a dril-level internet cryptid comedian was still extremely high

Hang in there!

(Source)

i love to learn about my cat i love to google “should you trim cat last claw? trim all cat claws? cat last claw called? cat fifth claw? cat claws labelled. trim cat dew claw?” and then say hi graham i learned something about you! your weird claw is called a dew claw and it will not be worn down by regular walking so it is extra important to be diligent about trimming to prevent it growing into your paw pad! and he bites me and bites me

i wish graham could google. maybe he’d google “human skin thickness? humans skin cut bite? humans red line arm leg? how hard bite humans? human pain tolerance? human vs kittens safe play” and then he would say mads im so sorry i didnt realize that humans are prone to injury from skin punctures. we should engage in remote play through means of toys as you were suggesting

via gracespelman

#gender exists purely as an affectionate diminutive

Why is this hiding in the tags

boy (affectionate)

sir (customer service voice for when my cat, tux, is trying to eat plastic)

I AM THE BEST PIRATE

Local cat deeply and desperately wronged by heartless owner who moved empty frappe cup (lickable)(delicious) out of little bedroom garbage can (tippable) into big kitchen garbage can (not tippable). Quoted in an exclusive three AM interview as saying "rustle rustle sniff sniff rrrRRROOWWW!!!! ROOWW!!! >8("

and this is why baseball is the best sport (see also: these baseball sidequests)