What Now

Fun fact: this scene is a direct reference to a pretty common joke in Regency-era erotic cartoons:

Historically, English women did not wear any version of underwear under their dresses until the very late 1800s (unless they were menstruating). When dresses slimmed way down during the Regency era's neoclassical movement, skirts became much easier to fully lift - apparently leading to many women warming their bare skin in this way.

It was a common enough practice that there was even a suggestive slang term for it, as others have pointed out:

Nice to know these gentlemen were eating ass

AND JUSTICE FOR TALL BOTTOMS

i’m counting at least four dead giveaways and another obvious cop

The white armband is actually used by NYPD to signify to the riot cops which people in the crowd are undercover cops so they don’t get shot. Apparently they change the color daily, but no one else is showing up to a protest with a fucking armband like that so

I made a little visual

These undercovers will try and convince you to act violently/break the law just so they have an excuse to arrest you and use violence on protestors. Call them out as cops and don’t let them fool you or fellow protestors.

this tweet is a foundational text for terminally-online bi people everywhere because let's face it, many of us are the grungler, but "whatever happened to beauty" legsweeps me every single time

It's really simple. If you're born with a vagina and you naturally have elevated testosterone levels, you're a man. If you have a vagina and you take testosterone, you're a woman. But also if you have a vagina, you'll never be a man. But also if you have higher testosterone then you were never a woman. Woman never yes man a vagina testosterone no was an elevated. Vagina man.

Anti-war protestors in Aotearoa / New Zealand pasting up posters and dyeing fountains red to draw attention to the government's ongoing complicity in war and genocide.

im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

Listen, we have to keep this thing circulating on the internet for at least another two decades, because I have to believe that one day that little girl will be grown enough to stumble upon it and She Will Explain

We’ve made it 5 years folks

so when straight people ask me why I say I’m “queer” or “gay” instead of sharing my actual identity as a panromantic demisexual non-binary sapphic queer I just tell them “ok look, when you’re talking to someone who isn’t local and they ask you where you’re from and you either say the name of the largest city nearby or ‘town name, suburb of large nearby city’ so they can get some geographical context of where you’re located right, bc they’re probably not going to know the name of the little town you actually live in.”

but if you’re talking to a local you can say the name of your actual town bc they have a greater chance of knowing where/what that is.

ok well when I’m talking to a straight person I start with queer bc chances are they aren’t as familiar with the context of all the little towns in that big queer city and need gps (gay positioning system) to find me.

if I’m talking to another queer person and I say I live in a suburb of gay city in a town called panromantic on the demisexual side of the tracks which is in the county of queer and I live off the intersection of non-binary and sapphic, they’d probably be able to find me with little to no problems, make sense?

Also because my exact address in Queertown is usually nobody's business.

In either case, you only need all the details if you're coming back to my place.

I got to help this amazing couple at work. It was just pure chance, but I was who they walked up to. They said they wanted jewelry cleaned and that they had a hold they wanted to check on.

Let me set the stage. They were a couple in their fifties or so, he was wearing motorcycle leathers, he had skulls rings, tattoos; he was bristly and unshaven. She was dressed to the nines, full length dress, platinum blonde, $500 shoes, nails, all of it. The cognitive dissonance looking from one to the other was staggering.

She thought she needed to get her ring cut off, but I walked her through the best way to see if we could salvage it and we were able to get it off. I put it into the shop to be sized up, and then we got to work.

He handed me a solid gold pendant he’d been given from a mobster that was Jesus’ face with rubies for eyes and a ruby and diamond crown of thorns. (Dear god why didn’t they use any stone but rubies for the eyes?) And then they had me get their hold from the back. It was about 5k worth of diamonds in her ring, and an even thousand for his. It was for their 30th anniversary.

They left smiling and happy.

Today I had to call her and tell her that her ring couldn’t be sized up without destroying it, and that I’d have to specially order his ring in his size or we’d destroy that too. It’s a nerve wracking call to make, people can get so angry about bumps in the road.

But she just laughed and called me a dear. She came in bringing a small bottle of champagne for me and my girlfriend and we picked out a different ring to house her diamond. She radiated charisma and charm the whole time.

After a while she realized she didn’t have her car keys. She went outside to check on where she’d left them. After investigating she blithely came back in and asked for a step ladder so she could get through her sun roof as it turned out she’d locked her keys in the car. I loaned her one then she went and heisted her way headfirst into her own car while wearing a sundress. It was fucking hilarious and amazing.

While we were shopping afterward she was all sunshine, bubbles, and shoe recommendations. She told me that had brunch coming up with a frenemy and she needed her new ring to really hold its own.

Near the end she got quieter. She looked at me and told me she had almost gotten divorced from her rakish biker man. That she had filled out papers and everything. A new paramour had literally bought her a god damn house. But she realized she was still madly in love with him, and they had to make it work. And she told me they had to have a lot of talks, and communicate, that they’d allowed themselves to drift apart and that they made a choice to come back together.

I was obviously just hanging on her every word. I was walking her to the back to pay by that point and she hugged me, thanked me, and then turned her smile back on. Without missing a beat she turned and instantly overwhelmed my customer service rep by telling him she’d gotten in through the sunroof of her car without flashing anyone.

The most legit tags I’ve ever seen.

HOW TO WIN BROWNIE POINTS WITH ME: YOU SEE A MUSHROOM. YOU SHOW IT TO ME. MUSHROOM ANYTHING.

i bring to you

the tiny boys

holy SHIT THOSE ARE THE TINIEST BOYS I’VE EVER SEEN

‎

A very nice cat just greeted me like an old friend and escorted me from the bus stop to the shop while meowing conversationally and keeping perfect pace with me the whole way which was already incredibly charming but then it also waited on the corner by the shop, shouted to get my attention when I got out, and then chattered away while walking me back to the bus stop and demanded 5 minutes of little cheek scritches before wandering off into the night?? Who was he. Missed connections me 25M you cat of indeterminate age or gender interests nighttime walks do you wanna hang out again some time

Ursula K. Le Guin, “Author’s Note” from The Left Hand of Darkness

me normally: i'm not personally a huge fan of modern art

me around right wingers: I love modern art sooooo much and I think there should be litter boxes in schools also

fucking obliterated lmao

You know those weird horizontal pupils that goats have?…. they get a lot weirder.   Other places to see my posts: INSTAGRAM / FACEBOOK / ETSY / KICKSTARTER

I did not know this.

I see this at a farm nearby where I like to hang with the goats, but the only time I’ve seen it captured on film was in that recent episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia where Sweet Dee got trampled in the petting zoo. I guess it is deeply disturbing and kind of underutilized in horror, but I still wish my eyes did that.

Like, seriously, why isn’t this in more movies? Why did I have to make the .gif myself?

In all fairness, human eyes do this too…it’s just harder to tell because we have round pupils instead of horizontal pupils.

[x]

i want there to be less information on this post please