Tamlin & Rhysand discussion
Tamlin only angled his head at Rhys. “When you fuck her, have you ever noticed that little noise she makes right before she climaxes?”
~ ACOWAR ch. 44
“She has the most delicious thoughts about you, Tamlin,” he said. “She’s wondered about the feeling of your fingers on her thighs—between them, too.” He chuckled. Even as he said my most private thoughts, even as I burned with outrage and shame, I trembled at the grip still on my mind. Rhysand turned to the High Lord. “I’m curious: Why did she wonder if it would feel good to have you bite her breast the way you bit her neck?” “Let. Her. Go.” Tamlin’s face was twisted with such feral rage that it struck a different, deeper chord of terror in me.
~ ACOTAR ch. 26
In my opinion, both of these scenes are similar. Rhysand & Tamlin humiliating Feyre. Both of them being shitty. But only Tamlin is getting hate for saying that, and Rhysand isn’t. And it’s funny because Tamlin actually had a reason. If my ex decided to destroy my court and my people (who are innocent), I would’ve said way worse. But what was Rhysand’s reason?
Exactly. I can’t think of one as well.
Setting aside the fact that this is a fictional novel and all.
Rhys took some jabs at Tamlin in a private setting over a women he was intrigued with but ultimately did not know.
Tamlin publicly discussed his ex fiancés sex life at a political event to humiliate her and provoke the man she essentially married after leaving him.
One of these things is not like the other. Let’s not forget: hurt feelings and your exes poor decisions do not give you the right to discuss intimate information with mutual colleagues at work.
The point is both of them humiliated her. That’s why I find both of the scenes similar 🤷🏻♀️ it doesn’t matter to me if it was public or private. Plus, Lucian was there. These things shouldn’t be discussed or said at all. They are private thoughts for a reason. And Rhysand took pleasure in saying them out loud in front of Lucian, and Tamlin. If Rhysand said those things to the man I’m in love with, and his best friend I would be humiliated. Feyre herself said she felt shame when Rhysand said this. Both were being shitty, and both of them humiliated her. The fact that Rhys read her mind in the first place without her consent is humiliating enough. And let’s not forget that Rhysand also humiliated her publicly under the mountain when he had her wear a strip of fabric that barely covered her, and made her drink the faerie wine, and give him lap dances in front of the whole court.
When it comes to UTM, actions executed under duress cannot be compared to otherwise normal situations. Everyone can agree that we aren’t our “best selves” when being traumatized on the daily.
If we step outside the realm of a fantasy novel and apply this to a modern situation, the scenarios with Rhys and Tamlin read VERY differently. The context of these situations are incredibly different as are the motives.
Rhys’s target was Tamlin, and Feyre was caught in the crossfire. If Tamlin was with another woman, the scenario would have played out the same way. Was Rhys in the wrong? Yes. But this situation played out in a relatively private setting.
Tamlin, on the other hand, directly targeted a woman he had an intimate connection with in a public/professional setting. It wouldn’t have mattered if she was with Tarquin, Lucien, Rhys, or someone else entirely. Imagine an ex-partner walked into your board meeting at work or a study group at school, and then proceeded to bring up your sex life to humiliate you.
These scenarios are on entire different levels. If this was in a modern setting, Tamlin could be expelled from school or fired from the workplace due to those behaviors.
It’s not okay to be a jerk to your ex friend and embarrass his new girlfriend. It is absolutely unacceptable to sexually harassing your ex partner in her place of work.
Context and intentions are significant factors. I hope explaining it this way helps others understand how different these situations are.
