Nonbinary People Who Love Men

chris is literally nonbinary

ppl really do just say "cisgender" for anyone who isnt "trans enough" huh

this is literally just how ppl treat nonbinary amabs

It is not unreasonable to want a partner to respect your gender.

It is not unreasonable to want a partner to respect the fact that you are unaligned.

It is not unreasonable to have an in depth conversation with a partner regarding how their orientation relates to your gender.

It is not unreasonable to request a partner to ID as bi/pan/poly out of respect for your gender identity.

You are not unreasonable for wanting your gender respected in every way, especially from a partner.

You are not the bad guy for wanting respect and you are not the bad guy for ending any relationship where you are not respected.

Agreed on all of the above, save for the one point everyone seems to be contesting: It isn’t at all reasonable to request that a partner change their sexual orientation, or how they regard themselves. I’m saying this as a genderfluid/nonbinary person who would not be with someone who insisted upon calling me a cis woman. I have no right to tell someone how to identify, no matter how politely, no matter how their identity makes me feel. It’s not my business, and it’s not my choice. And if that’s a deal-breaker for me, then maybe it isn’t a good idea for us to be romantically and/or sexually involved. 

Respect goes both ways when it comes to sexual orientation and gender identity. No one gets to request I identify how they want me to, and I must give them the same courtesy. 

TERFS, if you reblog my response and whine about it, I will call you on your bullshit. I see you insulting trans and nonbinary people by not respecting their existence, all while scolding OP for not respecting other people’s sexuality. You’re all massive hypocrites and should be ashamed of yourselves. 

You almost get the point of this list but I feel like context might be helpful to you:

This post is specifically for nonbinary people who either 1) realized they were nonbinary while already dating someone or 2) where dating someone who’s sexual identity does not match their gender identity is a no-go.

Obviously many of us uncomfortable with such things try to avoid dating people who’s sexuality doesn’t encompass us but dating is tricky and often imperfect and sometimes that just doesn’t work out so you end up in situations that require “the talk”.

The talk involves the 3rd 4th and last point on that list: 1) an in-depth conversation about your gender and their sexuality and what it means in the context of your relationship. 2) giving your partner options as far as other identities if their current identity does not encompass your gender identity 3) ending the relationship if a compromise cannot be made.

The thing is: this is a positivity post telling nonbinary people that it is OKAY to have these conversations. We are so often required to simply sit and stay silent about our genders and compromise our gender for our partners comfort. Again and again it is us that are told to stay silent, to just be happy that anyone would date us, and that we are the unreasonable ones for reminding our partners that, no, they are not dating a man/woman. We are expecting to give up a part of ourselves, our gender, for the sake of our relationship while our partner gives up nothing.

This post is for nonbinary people. It is telling nonbinary people that it is okay to want respect for our gender in our relationships and that it is okay to END a relationship if that respect isn’t met.

This post has made people upset because it has done to binary people the exact thing they demand again and again of us nonbinary people: to weight the importance of their relationship with their sexuality (for us gender) against their romantic/sexual relationship with the nonbinary person.

And, as you said, if their sexuality is more important to them then the relationship is free for them to end. That is the point of this post. Sure this post is specifically from the nonbinary POV since it is for nonbinary people but the point is: if a compromise cannot be met then it is not a bad thing to just end the relationship.

(And Yes, I have had ex’s paint me as the unreasonable ‘bad guy’ for not compromising my gender for them. So the last bullet point addressees that fact that anyone that says such things is wrong. Ending a relationship where you were forced to compromise you gender while your partner gave nothing in return is never a bad thing.)

You guys do know that afab enbies being unwillingly grouped in with women is also transphobic, right?

"I wish cis people would stop treating nonbinaries like women-lite. Not all of us are AFAB-" It's not okay to treat AFAB enbies like women-lite either you prick. Not unless they've given you permission to do so. Like damn, for someone who says they hate it when the cis reduce us to our AGAB, you sure don't seem to have a problem with following their lead.

It's not okay to group nonbinaries in with men or women, no matter what their AGAB is. 

"Treating nonbinaries as women-lite is transphobic because not all of us are AFAB." ❌Implies that AFAB trans people are women-lite, all you've done is switched out reducing AMAB to their assigned gender at birth for reducing AFABs to their assigned gender a birth. (And on a completely different note, implies that it's impossible for AMAB enbies to have a connection to womanhood or have a genderqueer experience that can be described as "women-lite". So like, you're still reducing them to their AGAB.)

"Treating nonbinaries as women-lite is transphobic." ✔ Literally makes the exact same point as the statement above, but with the added benefit of not being transphobic as all hell.

I could make a 3k-word manifesto on how the word “non-man” is enbyphobic horseshit, and I don’t think it could possibly be as succinct and easy-to-understand as this image. Take notes

Grunge nblm moodboard for myself.

nblm with artsy pastel moodboard for Anon (helper KC)

Nblm moodboard

elf 💖 prince nblm moodboard?? or something?? For anon!

I hope I did okay?

For the anon that requested “Could I get a moodboard for an agender person with a crush on a guy, with like a NYC theme?”

I hope this works!

space/bookstore nblm aesthetic moodboard

poc nblm sky/space undertone pastel aesthetic moodboard

feminine nblm plant/mountain aesthetic moodboard

avid reader/author nblm aesthetic moodboard

purple and orange snuggly nblm aesthetic moodboard for anon

purple punk nblw/nblm aesthetic moodboard for anon

forest/hiking aro nblm aesthetic moodboard for anon

Nblm winter moodboard