i deserve a gold star for being so sweet and nice and not killing

thinking about creatures.

look at this thing

Banded linsang (Prionodon linsang)

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

the thing about the three musketeers (book) is that there are three musketeers (guys) and also a fourth dude who's always hanging out with them and is part of the friend group. yet he is not one of the three musketeers

‘what’re u going to do w ur degree’ nothing. i’m going to start blowing things up

If you didnt believe Laios was autistic before todays episode i hope it clears that up for you

we were first shown his special interest, a very autistic trait to have. We get to see him indulge in his interest, we get to see him happy.

but this episode contains the scene that makes it clear Laios cannot understand social cues, tone of voice, sarcasm, or subtlety. He actively suffers socially with other humans.

Shuro is pissed Laios didnt pick up on the fact that he hated Laios, because he was being passive aggressive (at best, Shuro bottled up a lot of feelings), and said verbally he was Laios' friend. Laios takes things at face value, if someone says "im your friend" that's what he believes is true.

He hates that Laios "gets to be genuine". I hate the way he says that "gets" as if its a privilege for Laios. It's a privilege for Shuro who is nobility and has his behavior and emotions stifled. Laios doesnt understand that others are NOT genuine. he's not from that world.

that's why Laios asks "why didnt you TELL me?" and Shuro says it should have been obvious.

it was NOT obvious to Laios, not at all.

And also, that was who Laios thought was his FIRST friend on the island. he thought he made a friend, something actively difficult for him to do.

it devastated him to learn that he was wrong the entire time.

Damian, expectantly: I also refrained from fourteen severe maimings.

Jason: *hands him a second cookie*

Bruce:

Jason: positive reinforcement

Okay I so very much want criminals thinking Red Hood is not killing then because Batman offered him cookies. And what if they think Red Hood started working with the bats because of cookies in the first place?

I now want this

as some criminal trying to explain how red hood ended up working with the bats

And then I want my beloved thug named Jeff to, as Dan is putting together the PowerPoint, go recruiting and find a baker to bring into the fold because they need all the enticements they can get their hands on if they’re going to get their boss back

Or just one of Red Hood’s goons to straight up go to culinary school or whatever because apparently boss likes cookies enough to work with Batman so surely if they can do better…

Bruce appeases Murder Child for the first time

Murder Child devours appeasing offerings on the streets of Gotham

Batman gives Murder Child a GINGERSNAP COOKIE???

Criminal reaction - the Murder Child has rejected the appeasing offering!

Our main thug Jeff luring the Red Hood into their old headquarters just for Hood to walk into the main meeting area that had a table absolutely loaded with different baked goods.

Jeff: listen boss—I can still call you boss right?— anyways boss, so a bunch of us got together and put our man Bill—(say hi to Hood Bill!)—through patisserie school. It’s always been a dream of his. But anyways, this way you don’t have to go to the bat for cookies. Bill here learned to make 34 different types! Along with a boatload of other stuff. That way you can come back. Batman has nothing to hold over you now.

Jason, touched (he’s not crying you’re crying): yeah man

Later:

Jason: Sorry B, they made too good of an argument.

As Jason turns and walks out you can see Damian clinging to the back of his jacket like a baby koala (he heard about the baked offerings).

Thug named Jeff my beloved

Yes this is perfect

I was smiling till the end, and the image of gremlin Damian absolutely latched on and clutching to the back of Jason’s jacket just fricking SENT ME!😂

@fleur-des-lore I love these tags haha

Dick, holding one hand out towards Bats while holding a criminal in an armbar: APPEASE ME BAT AND YOUR REHABILITATION WILL BE POSSIBLE

Tim, facepalming behind Batman: it didn’t have to be that dramatic. Also that’s a nonlethal hold idiot.

Bruce, figuring the cookies in his belt are gonna get stale, handing them over despite knowing Dick isn’t going to kill: very well, Chum.

You know this sort of thing is definitely what would make people go from “I can’t believe Batman has sidekicks those poor kids” to “I can’t believe Batman is single-handedly keeping these feral children on the side of the heroes”

Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

Imagine paying Columbia-amounts of money to be taught by someone with kindergarten-level art literacy. Like, motherfucker, the wholeass point of 4’33” is to emphasize how every performance of live music is inextricably linked to the ambient sounds of the context in which it is performed!!!!!!! Paying attention to and thinking about the context of the performance is the point of the song!!!! If the point was to hear birds chirping and people walking, John Cage would have fucking recorded that instead. Insisting that art is only good when contains good things and makes you feel good things is baby-level art criticism. How the fuck is this dude a professor.

Actually I’m not done going off yet. This pisses me off so much. How can you teach the humanities and be so obstinately ignorant? Like bruh, if the chanting outside makes you feel uncomfortable and upset, maybe you should take about four and a half minutes to contemplate why you feel that way. During that time, you might consider things such as: why are there students chanting? What are they protesting? Why do they feel so strongly about this issue that they’re willing to disrupt their lives to bring attention to it? Should I also feel as strongly? Should I be protesting with them? Is my desire for silence more important than the students’ desire for justice? Why do I find the noise they’re making more upsetting than the genocide they’re protesting?

Being like “loud noise make me angy 😠” is so fundamentally incurious and baby-brained it’s honestly unbelievable

The problem with airports is that they are controlled by the totalitarian Air Traffic Control, which concentrates power over take off and landing into its own hands. We need to abolish ATC and horizontalize airports, such that every plane must call every other plane in the world to announce that it is landing. If two planes try to land on the same runway at the same time then they'll just have to land around each other, as making one of them wait would create an unjust hierarchy

when you think about it it's pretty revealing that the USSR and China never abolished air traffic control. really pretty clear a sign of revisionism. sad! another revolution betrayed, and for what?

My favorite response to “that’s not a word” is “then why do you know what it means?”

Every time someone within 30 miles of me says “that’s a made up word” I am uncontrollably compelled to respond “ALL WORDS ARE MADE UP!”

In a college language class I took, we talked about the Jabberwocky poem and the professor had us try to explain every word in it. When we got to ‘outgrabe’ she asked why it was past tense and my response was “Cause the present tense is outgribe”. Her response was “That doesn’t answer the question but that brings up a better one. Why do you know that?”

i'm such a big fan of laios using being well fed as proof that he's serious. like there's so many techbros & etc who will use not eating breakfast as proof that they're productive & just in general, the idea of being "too busy to eat" is getting more common (which is exactly what toshiro is doing here!) but laios is like. no. i'm so serious about this i'm thinking about what comes next. i'm so serious about this i'm making sure my body can do everything it can when i need it.

the fact that everyone in the party took care of themselves & carefully planned out their route & when they'd take breaks is what made them so successful. they always made sure to understand their limits

my father is the worst man alive and i am his favorite daughter

desire

its so sad kabru had to get caught in his lie so fast bc it truly distracts ppl from how sweet and cute it is that laios went out of his way to make him something special that he thought he'd enjoy like rolled omelette are not that easy to make and they were making food anyway he just decided "kabru is my friend and kabru likes eating monsters let me spare my special provisions to give him something, just for him" like we get so swept up in how kabru feels about it honestly that we do not see how much care the gesture was on laios' part. no wonder he gets so broken hearted about kabru not liking the food he made in particular. id be so so sad if i made my new friend a cake they said they liked and i found out it physically hurt to eat and they just ate it anyway to spare my feelings. and they never liked cake. like no tell meeeee i made it special for youuuuu

it’s all the more heartbreaking that this happens immediately after Shuro confesses he was concealing how much Laios had been making him uncomfortable.

and as far as I can remember, this is the first meal Laios cooks since Senshi joined the party. he did this very sweet thing specifically for Kabru, but was unknowingly put in a position where he was overstepping a boundary. again