via europadigest

True, but the “parenting is hell” thing also comes from the move, over the past 150 years or so, from a culture of large extended families living under one roof (or at least very near each other) to a culture of neolocal families who, in extreme cases, might not even have family members in the same county.

Living in a multi-generational household in theory ensures that there will always be someone else to hold the baby or watch the younger kids while Mum and Dad have a nap, or to cook dinner and help clean the house while Mum and Dad hold the baby. This has been a fundamental part of human parenting for long enough that scientists believe it could be the reason why human women so consistently outlive our fertility.

Like, for female chimps menopause typically signals the end of life— you’re no longer able to reproduce, so evolution is dropping you from the team— but human women can expect to live roughly third to fully half of their lives unable to reproduce, and could expect that even before modern medicine. And the best theory we have to explain this is that it was just that beneficial to have a bunch of elderly women hanging around who weren’t preoccupied with any children of their own, that their usefulness in looking after the young kids outweighed the cost of having to support them in old age. Caring for children was never intended to be a two person job.

Equally, it used to be way more accepted and common to just chuck your kids out of the house for a few hours whenever you needed a break from them. The invention and popularisation of Huge Metal Death Machines for whom 30 miles an hour is considered slow has greatly increased the risk of children playing in the street. Plus we’re also way more conscious of the existence of child predators and kidnappers nowadays, though that’s largely paranoia based around a few rare but high profile cases.

And children have become much more high maintenance, while at the same time an increased awareness of the impact of childhood on adult mental health has made everyone significantly more aware of all the ways they could be screwing them up. Parents are expected to be much more personally involved in their child’s education than they were in the past (which I’m not saying is an inherently bad thing, but does add to the stress) and the idea of a typical childhood education now involves a much wider range of topics than it did before. It’s not just a matter of keeping them alive— you also have to be prepared to help them learn nuclear physics if it comes down to it.

I mean, look at all the posts on Tumblr that were shaming parents for complaining about home education during the pandemic.

“If you didn’t want to spend time with your kids, why did you have them?”

“If you weren’t prepared to maintain a full-time job while simultaneously being a full-time teacher/classroom assistant, while also carrying out your usual duties as a parent, while also presumably finding time to eat and sleep when you have a minute, and do it all while living through a hideously traumatic experience with a smile on your face and no complaints ever, then why did you become a parent?”

Like yeah, “parenting is hell” culture is definitely related to the peer pressure to have children thing, but also there are many actual ways that our society seems to go out of its way to make parenting hell.

europeans: oh my GOD we do NOT all speak the same language learn a little about our continent!!!

also europeans from 6 different countries 3 drinks in @ 5 am in the morning in front of the club:

alla mingalёva

My cartoon for this week’s @newscientist https://www.instagram.com/p/ClJBI3os_Kz/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

You might be sexually attracted to that person if…

- You think sexual thoughts about the person out of nowhere

- You feel aroused upon seeing the person outside of a sexual setting

- You find yourself wondering what the person is like in bed and what their genitals look like 

- You want to have sex with that person because your body is screaming for sex with that one person in particular.

- Seriously though if you’re already horny and that person is there you will feel all hot and sexually aroused and might drool a bit and fantasies of doing X-rated things to that person will fly through your mind and your body will literally be screaming for that person to take you or for you to take that person. Even just thinking about that person while horny can do this to you.

- TMI but if you get off while fantasizing about you having sex with that person, the orgasms can be absolutely mind-blowing and may even give you leg cramps.

- You really do “just know.”

You might not be sexually attracted to that person if…

- You make a conscious effort to fantasize about sex with that person, mainly to see if you actually want to

- You feel aroused during a sexual situation, but that arousal has more to do with the activities instead of the specific person. Alternatively, you just don’t feel aroused at all.

- You feel aroused at random, but it’s directed towards no one

- You want to have sex with that person because you want to make them happy or are just horny and want to get off with a partner or want babies or want money or literally any other reason aside from your body screaming for sex with that one person in particular.

- TMI but if you try to get off while fantasizing about you having sex with that person, you may get bored and start thinking of other things. Or, you may start fantasizing about that person doing sexual things that don’t involve you in which case aegosexual might be worth looking into.

- You just don’t know.

If the “you might be sexually attracted” list boggles your mind, you are possibly asexual.

If the “you might not be sexually attracted” list boggles your mind, you are possibly not asexual.

If you can relate to the “might not be sexually attracted” list, but also feel like you’ve experienced some of the things on the “might be sexually attracted” list, it may be worth checking out some acespec identities.

(Disclaimer: This is strictly based off of my own experiences as acespec and is meant to be a guide for people questioning sexual attraction. Overall, you know yourself best and I’m not gonna tell you what you’re feeling or how to identify.)

These types of lists are always so helpful!

A big one too, I think is, you may fantasize, but the people in your fantasies are never YOU. They’re fictional characters or your OCs but they’re never you specifically. And if they are it’s an idealized version of you.

That top list makes me realize I’ve never experienced any of that, it’s kinda like when I stumbled into an ask Reddit about what sexual attraction felt like and I went “yeah, I have never felt THAT way and whatever I feel isn’t sexual attraction”

here it is, the info I’ve always wanted to see, breaking down attraction vs not-attraction in intense, analytical detail

Here’s a few more for aces who do experience aesthetic attraction and who aren’t repulsed, because goodness knows these are the ones that confused me when I was figuring things out. If you have sexual fantasies that involve things being in a certain situation or having things done to you, but you aren’t visualizing anything or imagining specific people, you might not experience sexual attraction

If you’ve ever had the thought “masturbation is better than sex because it is more efficient and skips the boring bits,” you might not experience sexual attraction.

If you find someone attractive, but the thought of seeing them with their clothes off isn’t more attractive, it probably isn’t sexual attraction. (A naked body is just a naked body. But people are so lovely when in a look they’ve picked out to express themselves.)

If you occasionally notice body parts considered sexual and think they look nice, but do not want to do anything sexual related to those parts, it might not be sexual attraction. (I will occasionally think someone has nice boobs or a nice butt, and I assumed that was sexual attraction for a long time. But I’ve learned that for allo people, thinking those things leads to them having a response of “therefore I want to tap that” which is absolutely baffling to me. Also, again, those thoughts don’t lead to “and therefore I want to see them without clothing.”

If your response to something that seems to be making others horny is very similar to your response to those videos of “oddly satisfying” things, it might not be sexual attraction.

If you see an Irish person speaking on European C-SPAN you know it's about to be a banger

If anyone knows anything about the criminal nature of the parasites we call “landlords” it is the Irish

Some of y’all think that holding hands and sharing a bed is immediately romantic, and this is why people cannot differentiate between romantic, platonic, and familial forms of love.

Nothing is EVER inherently romantic. The meaning of a gesture is determined by the people involved in it, not some random outsider.

The meaning of a gesture is determined by the people involved in it

“The stone corrupts all those who wield it, it is fueled by their ambitions and dreams. So we need someone with no ambitions, no dreams, someone who doesn’t care about what the future holds for themselves. That’s why we found you.”

The first thought, in a moment like this, probably should not have been what came to your mind. Well, fuck you too, you thought, half incredulous and half apathetic. You leaned against the doorframe with one shoulder and eyed the group of three wizened people before you. Why was it always the elderly who came with big quests or brought important items that had to be hidden away?

Also, if you didn’t care about the future, didn’t that mean you didn’t care about the stone either? You might as well give it to someone else. Maybe someone better suited than you. There was this little girl across the street who had an acorn necklace and played in puddles and always sat very still until the every last stray cat felt safe enough to eat what she brought them. Maybe the stone should go to her, she at least gave a shit.

You debated arguing or refusing, but your disinterest won out in the end. “Sure,” you answered, holding out a hand for them to plop the stone into. You weren’t scared of it, especially since it looked utterly unremarkable. If you tossed it into a river, no one would be able to tell it apart from the other rocks.

The three wizened elders, apparently the smartest of their magic circle, exchanged grave looks and you waited until they were done with their silent communication and their leader stepped forward.

“We entrust you with the Stone of Possibility, never use it and always hide it,” they said, voice solemn and carrying the sort of undertone that spoke of great importance. You blinked slowly. “Give it to no one, no matter how noble their hearts, how pitiful their tale or how silver their tongue.” You couldn’t help but imagine a genderless person sticking out their tongue dripping with mercury.

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I also want better public transport that doesn't rely on me having to have a car.

Being ephemeral scares me because it dulls my feelings and makes me wander in madness. Art by AnastasiaTrusova linktree

Otago - New Zealand (by Bernard Spragg. NZ)

The foam was not as gross looking irl😂😭

who tf is looking at the foam

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

Ooh biiiig stretch