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My world of Books

@turnthe-page / turnthe-page.tumblr.com

My name is Kenzie. I like books, netflix, movies, makeup, the ocean, and writing. Currently reading: The House at Riverton by Kate Morton, The Book Thief (reread)& helping schoolchildren cope with anger (professional development)
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minjooneun

What is heartbreaking about Steven is the fact the never was actually haunted.

It makes sense why he didn’t believe, and why he thought mental illnesses ran in the family. He was never actually haunted by a ghost. The primary experience he had was when he gave his mother the vanity, and then she broke the mirror right in front of him.

He looked terrified and hurt when she broke the mirror. He spent hours on the project, and she shattered the mirror. At that moment, Steven didn’t recognize his mother, and he was scared of her.

Steven watched as his mother became more and more ill (in his mind). He watched as Nell become terrified of her night terrors and of bent-neck lady.

Steven never had a ghost follow him around like Theo, Luke, and Nell. He didn’t witness banging on the walls as Shirley and Theo did. He didn’t see visions of his family dying as his mother did.

He watched as his family gradually became self-destructive. He witnessed how his father was seen as mad, and he witnessed how it affect his family.

Steven would have been better off to see a ghost. He would have been better off to see shadows behind him. Because that way he knows that what is happening isn’t his fault.

He blames himself for his mother’s death.

He blames himself for Nell’s death.

He would blame himself if his children turned out like him.

Steven’s version of the house is his mother becoming insane. It’s her ruining a gift he made her. It’s her having outbursts. It’s her getting migraines very often. It’s Nell not sleeping because of bent-neck lady.

Steven’s version is harsh reality.

Steven turned out the way he was because of his experience from the house. There wasn’t a ghost to blame. There wasn’t a bad spirit presence to blame. It was his mother’s mental state.

He was in denial that his mother really was sick, and he missed his mother. He lost the woman she was before the house. Before she broke the mirror. Before she talked to herself in rooms. Before all of it.

Steve wrote the book for closure. Was he right? Maybe not. But he was going bankrupt. He needed the money, and the only sibling to dislike the idea was Shirley. All the others said they weren’t comfortable, but they still were okay with him publishing it.

Steven became skeptical of everything. And even when he was skeptical of Nell’s mental state or Luke’s addiction, he still helped them.

He still gave Luke two hundred dollars, when he could have thrown Luke on the street.

He still offered Nell his home when his father called him.

He doesn’t deserve the hate he’s getting. His childhood is messed up. He didn’t see any ghosts when he was at the house. He didn’t get haunted. He saw reality. He truly believed his mother killed herself because of her mental state, and he honestly thought he was broken.

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fuwaprince

US Helplines:

  • Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
  • Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
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  • Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
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  • Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
  • Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
  • Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
  • Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
  • Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
  • Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

  • Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
  • Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
  • Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
  • Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
  • b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
  • b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
  • Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
  • Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
  • Drinkline: 0800 9178282
  • Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
  • Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
  • India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
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  • Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

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ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.

I noticed there isn’t one here for Ireland, so

Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123

last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:

so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.

keep yourselves safe!

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I’m tired of girls trying to invalidate their own feelings during times of pain, especially to their friends. Your break up meant something. That friendship you lost was a hard blow. I understand why you feel tired this semester. Sometimes this “modern woman” stereotype is patriarchy’s last attempt; patriarchy disguised as feminism. You don’t have to be “wise beyond your years”; your pain and crying does not mean you are not intelligent. If you feel your friends demand justification for your pain and ordeals, they’re not friends. You’re strong but human. Remind yourself emotional space is part of liberation.

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inkskinned

ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said “oh don’t romanticize mental illness” and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

fuck guys it shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion to say “i don’t want any of you to die”.

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stephrc79

Oh thank fuck someone finally said it!

I’m sometimes very leery of tumblr’s tendency to assume things are fixed traits and build identities around them, for exactly this reason.

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baixueagain

When I was a teenager I believed it was impossible to ever heal, or even cope. It very nearly did kill me. Despair is tempting, but it is a false god.

I see some folks in the notes talking about “but I have XYZ and it’s lifelong, how am I supposed to be pro-recovery?” And I want to throw out there that recovery isn’t always about reaching some end goal of “cured,” recovery is about getting better and getting to somewhere manageable. I have some conditions both physical and mental that are lifelong, that won’t go away. For example, I can never un-traumatize myself. However, I’m a lot more recovered than I was a month ago, a year ago, ten years ago. I don’t have panic attacks as frequently, I’m more knowledgeable of my triggers so I can avoid them easier, I’m better at setting boundaries and taking care of myself. There’s even small things, like how I do my laundry before I have no clothes left (usually.)

Recovery looks different for everyone. Maybe your recovery isn’t being able bodied and mental illness free, but just being able to enjoy a night out with friends every once in a while.

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reblogged

Just think about Young Teddy Lupin finding Tonk’s old Hogwarts uniform and walking up to his gran with the robe on and she has just stares at him because although people say he looks like his father more, she sees more of her daughter in the young boy. 

Then the first day of Hogwarts comes and Teddy gets sorted into Hufflepuff and he can’t believe that he got sorted into his dream house no matter what other students say about it. He sends and owl to his gran straight away and a few day later he receives a letter and a package. The letter just says how proud his gran and Harry is of him and how she sent what he asked for. 

He opens the package to find his mum’s old uniform, robe, tie and scarf that his Gran kept all these years. He doesn’t mind that it’s faded a bit and it has a few pin holes in from Tonks keeping he badges on it for various bands. In fact, one of them is still there on the front and Teddy refuses to remove it.

 He changes into it instantly because wants to have something that always reminds him of the stories he heard about Tonks at school. He looks down and finds a single blue hair. He sends and owl to his gran and asks about the hair and she replies back about how Tonks had it for a short while because it was his grans favourite colour. 

Next time he visits his gran for the holidays she has a tear in her eye as teddy walks up in the uniform with short blue hair, just like his mother had years before him.

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