honestly i am just chilling in cedar rapids

one man, one lord, one faith, one baptism, two nunchucks

me: it’s not realistic to expect the type of love depicted in movies and stories, they function on an idealized notion of love that has a quick deus ex machina for situations that would require entire lifetimes to solve in real life

me, when Mr Darcy has to flex his hand after briefly holding Elizabeth’s hand in Pride and Prejudice (2005):

just gals being pals

first prompt of my drawtober is kiss!

[ID: a comic of Beau and Jester. They are both lying in a bed, their heads on the same pillow, facing each other. 1. Beau and Jester are both blushing and laughing “hehehe” “heh” “hehe” and “pffft” are written around them. 2. Beau has her eyes closed and is still laughing, while Jester has her eyes half-open and has a little heart in a speech bubble next to her. 3. Jester kisses Beau, with “chu!<3” written above them, and her hand raised to Beau’s shoulder. Beau’s eyes are open wide. 4. Beau and Jester look at each other, Jester is bright pink. “Uhhh” is written above them, and Jester’s hand is still over Beau’s by her chest. 5. Beau asks “Did you just…” While Jester replies “No-”, not meeting her gaze.They are both still blushing heavily, and Jester’s hand it back under the blanket. /end ID]

what if we were both getting tattoos and you were getting a chest tattoo but you didn’t want to take off your armor so i gave you my scarf to cover up with so you wear just my scarf as a cute tube top and it shows off your incredibly hot rippling muscles that i have to Avoid Looking At for fear of blushing and the finished tattoo is glittery and beautiful and follows your collarbone and your shoulders and the muscles on your beautiful arms and i can’t stop looking as much as i try? hahaha just kidding………unless 😳

"So Kelly asked me to share the story of how our particular 'arrangement' began…"

Kara snorted, and half muted the documentary they were only sort of watching.

Lena took the hand that was lazily resting on her chest and threaded their fingers together. "I told her how you told me there were no boundaries between us, and she said that was seriously romantic -"

Kara lifted their hands in a little victory cheer. "Yeah!"

"...and seriously stupid."

Their clasped hands drooped again. "Noooo! Why?"

Lena rolled over to stare up at Kara's face in the flickering light of the screen, noting the cartoonish scowl of consternation. "Don't make that face," she laughed. "Kelly just pointed out that boundaries are a reasonable and important part of any relationship, and we should try to normalize setting them and respecting them."

"That sounds like Kelly all right." Kara muted the TV fully and scooted on the sofa, crossing her legs under Lena's head in her lap and leaning over to make eye contact as they talked. "Well, one boundary I'd like to set is I'd rather you not call this an 'arrangement.'"

Lena laughed. "Fair."

"I'm not a business deal. Or a bouquet."

"But you are pretty, and you do smell nice." Lena reached up and tapped Kara on the nose affectionately, and in response Kara crinkled her nose with a grin. "I would like you to stop talking to me while I'm in the bathroom."

Kara's scowl came right back. "I have so many things to say to you!"

"They can wait until a toilet is not involved."

"But what if it's important?!"

Lena rolled her eyes. "Then let's set some boundaries around what is important. Issues involving the multiverse? Important. Cats wearing costumes on Instagram? Not important."

"Beg to differ," muttered Kara under her breath. "But I suppose I can respect that."

"Thank you." Lena relaxed more fully into Kara's lap. "Honestly, that one always sort of bothered me. I'm glad I said something."

Kara propped an elbow on the back of the sofa and leaned against her hand. "Why didn't you before?"

And just like that, Lena was tense again. "I guess I didn't want to… prove myself uncooperative. We've been through so much, you and I." She blinked and looked away, uncomfortably with Kara's open and honest gaze. "I didn't want to rock the boat."

"I'm feeling sturdy," said Kara. "Let's give the ol' girl a jostle, see what she can handle."

"Then I'm pretty sure it's your turn."

Kara puffed out her cheeks in a dramatic exhale. After a moment, her jaw set, and she glanced back down at the woman on her lap. "I get uncomfortable when you say nice things about me but in a way that's mean to you."

Lena laughed again, but the sound was a little uneasy now. She was starting to regret this conversation. "What do you mean?"

Kara rubbed her nose thoughtfully. "You'll talk about how good I am, the things I've done. But then you will hold me up to you, and the bad or 'inadequate' things you've done, and find yourself wanting." Kara threw large air quotes around the word. "You think you're being nice to me, but it's just you being mean to you. And it makes us both feel bad. And it's transparently wrong, because you're so obviously amazing!"

Lena hid her face in Kara's stomach. "I'm proud of what I've accomplished, but on the balance, compared to you..."

Kara gently shoved Lena's shoulder. "That's exactly what I mean! Right there!"

"Fine, fine." Lena felt herself blush and realized she didn't hate it as much as she used to. "We're both amazing."

"Better."

They settled into companionable silence, both lost in thought.

Eventually Lena said, "I need to be alone sometimes."

Kara frowned. "You've been alone too much in your life."

"Agreed." Lena sat up, putting a little distance between them. "And I know I tend to… dwell."

Kara snorted. "Just a little."

"But it's good to be alone, sometimes, and process things. To think." Lena adjusted herself on the sofa to mirror Kara's body language, legs crossed and facing each other. "Even your cousin has a Fortress of Solitude."

It was Kara's turn to look away now. "Do you think we spend too much time together?"

Lena reached out again, chucking Kara's chin this time. "Do I think that once we added intimacy to our relationship, we got a little mutually obsessed and enjoyed losing ourselves in each other? Definitely."

Kara cocked a brow, feelings clearly transforming into a playful kind of smug. "We're pretty amazing, though, as we just discussed. Particularly at 'intimacy.'" Rather than air quotes, the word got an exaggerated eyebrow waggle. "Worth obsessing over."

Lena gave Kara a quick smooch for that. "You better believe it, darling. But it's good to make space. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Kara nodded, then frowned, lost in thought for a moment. "I can't think of anything else."

Lena grinned. "We don't have to do it all now. Let's just make it an ongoing conversation. Maybe we practice saying 'no' sometimes."

Kara hummed in response to that, and made a big show of tapping her chin, deep in thought. She rose, and paced in front of the sofa briefly. "I see, I see." She stood in front of Lena, eyes squinting in concentration. "I'll work on my no."

And with no warning, Lena was up in Kara's arms, laughing at the sudden movement and the broad, mischievous grin on Kara's face. "But for now, I'd rather hear you say 'yes.'"

"Rather forward of you," said Lena between giggles.

Kara paused in her march towards the bedroom to check in. "Wait, did I cross a… Is this okay?"

Lena placed an open mouth kiss on Kara's neck. "Yes."

Allura Vysoren from Critical Role

sir that’s my emotional support song on repeat

I’ve been so blind.

Lena…