i live in the sewer

not a gf or a bf but a secret third thing (stray dog you adopted)

Beam Of Lightning in Kangiqsujuag

Me: "Did you hear they're confirming a new saint? He's gonna be the new patron saint of the internet."

My dad: "The internet? Who are they to decide that?"

Me: "They are the Catholic Church?"

Source

when The Character looks like this:

Jelly Tart Thief

Things had been quiet since they'd brought back the pearl.

Too quiet. A storm was brewing, but there wasn't any sign of that yet.

"... only one matter to discuss today."

"Huh?"

He was awake. He was awake now... this wasn't his super cozy bed though, it was the table around which the...

"Oh no. Did I doze off again?"

The young king groaned, rubbing at his eyes.

"You appear to have lost sleep, my king. Are you still keeping your brother company to help with his?" Opeli asked gently. The others were looking at him with concern.

"No, no, don't worry. Callum's mastered some new spell, it's...

He's. He's okay, now. He's not still dreaming about... "

Ezran trailed off. "Well. You know who."

The ensuing silence was awkward, and a bit painful.

Opeli spoke again, after a very long moment.

"The fallen elf?"

"The pirate one. Now that I think about it, he hasn't said anything about more possession dreams either," Ezran sighed.

He turned, addressing Bait.

"I... Callum said..."

"He's still taking a break. To process, he told me. He'll show up next meeting, Bait, don't worry."

Bait made a worried noise in response, staring into his eyes.

"Well, back to the matter at hand. As you all know, there is a thief who's been raiding the kitchen for almost two weeks. As some may not know, the only food they've taken so far, is..."

Ezran and Barius complained in unison.

"MY JELLY TARTS!!"

"Ezran and I have waited ALL night for the culprit, for the past FIVE nights!!"

The frustrated baker continued :"Rayla is even sneaking around the castle, trying to catch them unawares."

Bait grumbled. Ezran translated.

"She just keeps finding... Callum? Bait! You didn't tell me he was still sleepwalking??"

Bait apologized.

"Callum told you both not to say anything? Oh." Ezran sighed.

"He probably just doesn't want you to worry too much and lose even more sleep," Corvus piped up.

"Yeah," Ezran sighed with a fond smile.

"Have any of you made any progress on apprehending the thief so far?" Opeli asked.

" Crownguards searched the whole castle, we searched everywhere outside, now we're looking further away. Here's hoping we spot this Jellyburglar heading for the castle," said Soren.

"You won't. I've been attempting to find their trail, where it comes from, how they enter here. Nothing. Whoever it is, it's someone inside the castle. This morning I found jelly tart crumbs scattered on the floor, inside that one wall with the metal grate."

"Finally! A clue,"Ezran exclaimed.

"But that's it. Just some crumbs. It's like they're making the tarts move on their own or something," Corvus frowned.

Gears starting turning in everyone's heads.

"Uh, why's everyone staring at me?"

"Ezran..." Soren said slowly.

"I think we have uncovered the identity of our 'Jellyburglar',"

Opeli said.

*****

"Ez, why would I be stealing all the jelly tarts and hiding it from everyone? I would NEVER do that!"

"Yeah,he wouldn't!" Rayla defended him.

They smiled at each other. She laid a supportive hand on his shoulder.

Ezran cleared his throat, before they could start leaning in close to each other's faces.

"That's not what anyone thinks. You know your sleepwalking?"

"Sorry, I should have -"

"You didn't have to tell me. It's okay. The important thing is, I think you've been sleep-snacking, too."

"That would explain why the thief's so good at evading capture," Rayla said.

"Sorry for using primal spells to take your tarts, Ez."

"You don't have to apologize. I'll sit by your bed again tonight. Sweet dreams, and no sleepwalking," Ezran smiled.

*****

Ezran had sweet dreams too, and they ended abruptly when he fell out of his chair.

"Wha-? Callum!"

He was already gone. Bait said he'd just seen him leave, wandering in a trance-like state out the door, his head lowered.

He grabbed the Glow Toad and ran out.

There was no sign of Callum, but he knew exactly where he'd find him.

Indeed, there he was outside the wall that offered a sneaky way into the kitchen.

His arm was extended, hand elegantly positioned.

Ezran stopped walking, gasping quietly.

"I didn't know you could do THAT, Callum."

The jelly tarts were floating in the air, and into his arms.

Half of them abruptly dropped straight down, as the mage froze.

Slowly, Callum turned around to face Ezran.

But it wasn't Callum.

His eyes shone with star magic.

His mouth was stuffed with tarts.

"They're delicious, huh?"

Aaravos managed to swallow the tarts, and stood staring at him.

Neither one of them was quite sure what to do now.

"They, uh...they go down pretty well with hot brown morning potion."

"Why aren't you calling for your guards?"

"That's no way to have a conversation."

"For what reason would you like to converse with me?"

"You keep stealing my tarts."

"And I will not cease stealing your tarts. They are quite delectable."

"How about I just ask my baker to make extra tarts, and I'll leave them for you."

"What would be the purpose of that, child?"

"To be nice, Archmage."

"Ahh, I see."

Aaravos laughed.

"You are trying in your adorable yet sad way to sway me. If you think you can change my plans for the sake of mere pastries..."

"How about mere new books? You've been in there for a while, and Callum said you had books. I'm sure it's super boring, having nothing new to read."

"What would you like in exchange, child? I can't pinkie swear that I'll never ever do bad things ever again, and that we'll always be the best of friends."

"You really have forgotten what kindness and empathy are, haven't you? You don't ever miss having friends?"

"My so-called 'friends' betrayed me ."

"I know what that's like. Want to talk about it?"

"No. Leave me alone."

"With all my jelly tarts? No!"

"You cannot stop me from walking away with these tarts, and you surely know it. Move out of my way."

"Alright. But in that case I'm ordering Barius to never, ever, bake another jelly tart again."

Aaravos glared at him.

"I'm not bluffing. I'll do it. Either we do this the nice way, or we can do it the not-so-nice way."

"I will not answer any of your questions."

"We don't have to talk. You bring the tarts, and I'll bring the hot brown morning potion. Trust me, it'll be worth tolerating my company."

"Your idealistic dream of changing the world's hearts,

will one day be cruelly shattered, child king."

"I only want to change one, right now. That's how you change people. One act of kindness, one act of mercy, one hand reaching out to help. One heart, at a time."

Aaravos suppressed a smile. "They said something like that to me, once. Alright, as long as you bring that strange potion of yours, I'll tolerate you. But I won't be talking. We won't be friends."

"We just talked, Aaravos. And it went well. I'm sure this is the start of a wonderful not-friendship."

Ezran smiled, and Not-Callum started walking off with the tarts.

Hopefully, this situation would not require another battle, another war.

He was hopeful.

“Endless Echo Hat” by Heidi Lee

sometimes i get a little stressed out because i’m living in a part of history that’ll one day be talked about and discussed and papers written and what am i doing? what have i done? laundry, barely

Sometimes I used to wonder what regular folks were doing during eventful periods in history.

Now I’m living in one and yeah, it turns out the answer is laundry, barely.

It’s okay to exist in a time of historical change doing laundry, barely.

considering the majority of people actually in the history books, we’d rather just be doing laundry, barely