@t-basilton-g-p / t-basilton-g-p.tumblr.com
I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend
always incredibly funny to read articles about cuisine from former ottoman states that are SO DEFENSIVE about why their unfiltered boiled finely-ground coffee and their stuffed meaty cheesy filo dough pastries are fundamentally and completely different from all other virtually indistinguishable coffees and pastries, especially turkish ones
"girl dinner is when you don't eat teehee" "men think about the roman empire women think about their ex best friends and poetry" "✨sapphic love✨ is so pure and innocent and sweet unlike nasty gross Man Lust" "girl math is when you can buy starbucks and makeup because you didn't buy it yesterday so it's free" "I'm going to explain (complex topic) for the girlies! so basically it's like when you go shopping-" "I love women because they're so soft and smooth and feminine and we can talk about girly things and they're not sweaty or hairy or horny like gross men" "women should be unemployed girls don't need jobs men should do all that for us" "ugh girls that don't like pink or being feminine just need to stop being such pick mes and get over their internalized misogyny it's gross"
god save my hairy dyke ass from this hell before I start whacking people's shins with my Girl Baseball Bat. teehee!
If i was a middle aged white man I'd wear fish lures as jewelry idc
I'd serve so much cunt
I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.
Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"
and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"
tumblr in 1623 was probably like, “I don’t know why but melancholia is just so he/him and hysteria is so she/her”
[ID: the “quit your job” “why” “join my emo band” meme edited so that the third message reads “cultivate aquatic plants” /end ID]
sent this to the group chat in an attempt to find someone to go splitsies on the substrate for my planned lotus with
girlrot girldecay girldecompose girldeteriorate girlperish
fuck grudges live free and have fun
we could provide electricity to everyone on earth if we put tom cruise on a hamster wheel and told him to go crazy with it. but the church of scientology won’t let us do that
Jesse Dayan (Australia, 1982) - Alke at the Beach (2016)
no one served like she did. to me
to me
I'm about to wii sports resort to violence
I'm about to have a wii fit
travelling back to the paleolithic era to explain to a neanderthal that in the future there will be food that is simultaneously disgusting and also the best tasting food you've ever eaten. the neanderthal nods and says "oh yeah we have that" and leads me to a clearing in the woods where a perfectly normal mcdonalds sits.
