INDECENTLY EXISTING LIKE I VIRTUALLY CANNOT DIE

Letting an animal side out where nothing is controlled any more, where the thoughts barely go in and out, and I just do, and I just do. Exposed like street art, vulgarity on the walls, so repulsive for the ones I hate anyway.

Killed the shame, killed the morals, killed any sense of what fuckers call civilisation. I want to be your fucking canvas, don’t you have an entire world to tag on here? Buckets and graffiti, whatever comes to you, and I’ll be alive.

Looking like the deadest of trash, but ripped clothes and scratched skin is my most precious bliss. Walking, spinning, from the ceilings to the ground, so ephemeral in its eternity, so eternal in its chill wind. There's nothing that lasts forever quite like shouted depravity.

We need to be outside, to run through the night, under the lights of the stars, of the signposts, lungs out at 5 AM before the world awakens. No traffic, desert rain, paws out like the old alt days, look at my face, what does it say? Bet it's smeared makeup from posing where I'm not allowed to be.

Yeah, your canvas or your tablature, your ripped parchment that we nurture. Hold me for a while and you'll find yourself somewhere you shouldn't be either. Danger of crossing a line, danger of trans-ing a life. Let go of all the rules, let go of what you thought you knew. Street artist lost his mind, but the talent remains, insane.

a vent became a piece of reflection and i am willing to share the thoughts with you.

fourteen years old – it feels like the next six years have just been pretending because when i hear footsteps in the hallway, i still stop breathing because when the meals are reheated, i still stop speaking because when it’s cold outside, i still stop thinking because when you’re upset, i still stop living

i feel time stopping, i feel i’ve died six years ago

imposter syndrome or maybe i feel fake overall i do not know why it feels like all i ever do is a lie and i’m still scared sometimes that my friends will leave if they learn “the truth” and i do not know what that truth would even be

fourteen years old – it feels like the next six years have just not been real but i get better, i know, because sometimes i suddenly understand i am twenty like when i wear this specific outfit, inspired by petit-doudou or when i ate mushrooms, or when i smoke at night alone in my bedroom or when i bring food to my sister’s out of free will

but outside of those specific occurrences (non-exhaustive) i feel time stopping, i feel i’ve died six years ago

so you need to understand, yes you who know me and wish me the best you need to understand that you cannot help me if i am not twenty

because when i say i am a bad person it’s because i am fourteen and i was an asshole when i was fourteen it’s no use arguing against that, because if am not twenty all the points you could bring are not real

and if i say i want to die, if i say i’m suicidal if i say i deserve to hurt, if i say i shouldn’t eat if i say i’m sorry for myself, if i ever dare say i can’t write it’s only because i am fourteen

i do not believe a single one of those words i say because i’ve lived for six more years i can barely refute a single one of those words i say because those six years don’t seem real

i am a happy twenty-year-old and a miserable child

so i wear clothes i can feel move, i need accessories, i wear harnesses tight and i hate baggy pyjamas, and i hate one-pieces, and i hate my tied hair for without a reminder i’m alive, without a reminder i’m grounded, i think i’ll let myself rot

i threw away the lolita fashion, i got rid of most of my clothes i felt i was cosplaying a fourteen-year-old and i think i would like to feel twenty and alive more often

now sexuality if you don’t want to hear, you can skip the stanza now sexuality teasing, bullying, but i’m a coward, a curious one that is i am so deeply afraid of the consequences of my own actions i do not know what to do but i know i want to do and when i was fourteen, i fought with people out of abuse, can probably say it that way so i know how to hit, and i know how to insult, and i know how to hurt but the kind of hurt my mind immediately goes to is not sexual i am so deeply afraid of the consequences of my own actions it is not that i am uncomfortable, it is that i need to feel present first do not be afraid yourself though, i have learnt how to say no

now still sexuality, but different if you don’t want to hear, you can also skip the stanza now still sexuality, but different i am asexual, truly, i am being hot is a choice i make and it’s my choice, and it’s my choice, for the first time, it’s mine not defined by others and sex is silly like a game i think i like it that way, i think i like it that way, as long as i can win because i feel i’ve lost all the time before i was twenty i think they were all cheating at that game like when you change the rules with a new player because the inexperienced will not notice i don’t think i’ve ever had a fair chance at that game before and sometimes i’m scared of being horny because i feel like an annoying, nosy teenager bugging other people to play a game i’m too young to play

i think i’ve figured it out why i’m so scared that everything i do is a lie i feel like i’m fourteen and trying to impress people with how many forbidden things i can do with how many advanced things i can learn but i was never like that, i was never like that now i am, but i wasn’t i feel i’m pretending to be special and everyone buys into it

i want to let go of the expectations put on this miserable child while accepting i’ve met those expectations today as an adult

and i’ve been walking on the same path for so long “gifted child syndrome” but i am starting to think i am not afraid of failure not of failure, not of pressure, but something else entirely i am afraid of being trapped on this path and i think that is why i dread results so much and i think that is why success makes me depressed none of those two outcomes are happy endings and i think that’s why i need biology so badly psychology is for a fourteen-year-old who remains depressed eternally biology is for a twenty-year-old who manages to break free

when did it happen? what happened? what trauma? talking of this one guy, or talking of mom would be easy but they’re just very good scapegoats, for no matter how awful those are they both happened after i turned this way and mom is another story, but for this guy, it probably happened because i turned this way not that i blame myself in any way for him, i was just an easy prey

truth is, i do not know, i do not understand why my life collapsed so suddenly i left grade school and lost my friends and familiarity and mom went to the hospital and sister left for another country and brother left for another county and i learnt being gay for girls was weird and i learnt not being a girl was weird and i was alone in my autism now and i was alone in my insanity now and it happened all at once

truth is, i do not know, i do not understand why my life collapsed so suddenly my childhood wasn’t particularly amazing it had a lot of issues, in fact, and i’d probably still resent the bullying but i wouldn’t say it was particularly bad either i feel a deep disconnect, like i’ve lived two different lives before today

and i simply realised it someday nothing happened, really a bad set of unforeseen circumstances which scarred me deeply and it’s enough, i know, to be traumatised but i think i’m still searching for reasons because i need to pinpoint something and i can’t

fourteen years old – please, i will ask of you very nicely and i only ask because i believe i have finally found safety would you be by my side when i try to grab at those six years? those six years that i need to be happy so desperately?

i am not sure yet of how to reintegrate those into myself i have survived by breaking myself into plural pieces i don’t think i particularly need to be one and only but i really need to be twenty

On this day I thought I would be sad, I am a joyful crying mess

Parallel worlds, parallel lives, isn’t it happy to be behind the misery? I longed to belong all of my life and that sentiment hurts my chest Nowadays, I dance differently Nowadays, I live with you merrily Every smile you put on my face is followed by tears I repressed For all this true dream is the joyous parallel of what’s been unhealthy

Do not be mistaken, this is love I’m confessing Depression days are long gone, but remained unprocessed It took your bright sparks to see the hidden, unforgotten The unfairness of memories that shouldn’t be forgiven And I think you’re so good you make me shout all the stressed Do not be mistaken, it’s a step forward I’m taking

Please bear with me while I still have an ocean to shed It will fade, eventually, it will fade as I leave those echoes Echoes of fucked existences Mirrored by the most ecstatic presences It’s already fading away day after day, those pathetic foes As I feel at peace to tell you about the wings you’ve helped spread

Hypocrites.

You lurk alone in spaces you forced yourself in and then you cry.

What you preach is what you’ll never do, but you call it being selfless. You spend more time kicking people who don’t matter than looking at yourself. You learnt forgiveness was a virtue, but you’re just spineless. Those you claim you protect get the short end of the stick. You’ve suffered, but you’re still unable to be uncomfortable. Your excuses only make it worse because they show you were aware. All your moral superiority goes away once we take a look at what you really do.

But if you read all of this, you’d reblog it, because what you preach is what you’ll never do. You weaponise everything outside of your own issues to push points we wouldn’t push. You parrot people you’re not instead of listening. You drop out of conversations that are too uncomfortable to your privileges. You tune out criticisms because you think they apply to other people. You criticise people for what you do. All your moral superiority goes away once we take a look at what you really do.

And what you preach is what you’ll never do, because everything political in your life is a role. The role of a saviour, but you’re not really, and saviours are unhelpful anyway. You people, I wouldn’t mind your lack of action so much, if you weren’t actively engaging in yelling at those who do just as little as you do. A bunch of hypocrites, no matter how you twist it to explain to yourselves why the standards you expect strangers to have don’t apply to you.

Your lurk alone in spaces your forced yourself in and then you cry.

Your perfect hate story

You're bored with me, what a pity But it's not like it's deep trouble It's been a good chapter, you and me It's okay now to break up the couple And you could've left it at that Supporting each other for a new future Yeah, you could've left it at that But ending it smoothly is just not your nature

You "don't recognise me any more" Or you pretend I'm someone else It's like no matter what it was all for You've made your mind up to kill your faith 'cause you gotta blame someone You always gotta blame someone 'cause you can't bear walking unharmed You can't take an ending if it's warm

Here we go, like an old song You dance with your own misery A tune full of sudden reproaches You can't let go of your perfect hate story

I've changed, you say I'm not myself, you say I've stayed the same, you say Not the one you wanted, hey

How many of those words did you learn Only to one day weaponise Since when did you know you were gonna yearn For a knife deep into my back And word is going around town that I was a fake loser A condescending jerk, of course, and "I took everything" In the blink of an eye, you're drawing away and it's over Justifying your tears from all my mistakes without forgiving

What was the point of pretending I've betrayed you? Are you happier now that you got everyone crying for you? They would've been here even if you hadn't painted me In such a monsterous light with no hope to be I'm standing here where we both were And I've witnessed all that we've been A question howls at my mind, all so unsure I don't get why you thought we wouldn't be

'cause if we went our separate ways, we could've still existed So is it true? You were lying? No, that'd be falling for what you've twisted I believe in your honesty like in mine, I'm trying But why do you have to rewrite me out of your life Why do you want me to be your villain so badly? Just let me go without a strife But I have to be your perfect hate story

I've changed, you say I'm not myself, you say I've stayed the same, you say Not the one you wanted, hey

Not the one you wanted, hey

Suis-je un sentiment ?

Lorsque la nuit tombe à la fin de l’année, je me dois de voir que plus de trois sont passées Un ciel sombre, un croissant de lune qui se lève à l’horizon, comme celui qui, de ce recueil, est la raison Les écrits qui me précèdent ne sont pas mal faits, mais ils ne font que prétendre, où peut-être que cet autre moi était mauvais Je me libère du miroir, parce que je n’ai plus à vivre en parallèle d’anciens espoirs Et je le libère aussi, va-t’en, toi et ta tristesse, toi et ton cynisme, toi et ton suicide Mais avant tout, oui, surtout, va-t’en avec tous tes meurtres dont je reprends la responsabilité

De quelle empathie tu parles ? Ne te bats pas pour ce que tu n’es pas Des sentiments, des émotions, évidemment, je ne suis pas supérieur à ce qui existe ici-bas Ce soir, je poste une lettre et je m’en vais, parce que le soleil se lève Nous vivrons ensemble, parce qu’une nouvelle fleur est née, d’une graine qui n’aurait jamais cru voir le bleu du ciel Il n’y a aucun moyen de capturer mon essence, même si j’ai pu essayer

L’art se mouve et l’artiste bouge À demain

OTTER BOOM KITH KITH 🦦💥

(I'm wiggling until I'm dancing, I'll be whispering until I'm screaming I'm wiggling until I'm dancing, I'll be whispering until I'm screaming)

I remember back then – I WAS FUCKING DEAD Lying in bed, afraid of tomo' – NOWHERE ELSE TO GO Every single minute, and every single decade Depression, dread and doom – TILL THE CHANGE OF MOOD

I WAS A BOMB, FOREVER TICKING, AND LOOK AT ME, FUCKING WORLD BULLSHAT MY WAY THROUGH LIFE ALONE AND PRAYING BULLSHAT MY WAY THROUGH LIFE When would it go away?

So at last, I closed my eyes Dreamed of the day I'd be alive But I was already awake Ugh Give me a fucking break

I GOT TIRED OF WISHING FOR THE PRETTY FUCK THAT SHIT, LOVE ME RAW, CUT THROUGH ME I REMEMBER BACK THEN, I WAS FUCKING DEAD BUT YOU CAME ALONG – RHYTHM OF MY SONG

(I'm wiggling until I'm dancing, I'll be whispering until I'm screaming)

My secret sin that I keep all to me It's named Owen, it makes my heart shaky Pump all my blood, never on empty veins Adrenaline rushing through all my chains till I splatter my guts and love ALL OVER THE FLOOR

I just woke up with a vision – LET'S LIVE OUR LIFE LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT "Oh, kitten, we could be so great" I'VE HAD AN IDEA BETTER YET PRAY TELL, MY EVIL KITTY WHY BE SO GREAT WHEN YOU COULD BE DEGENERATE

You made me go otter boom Boom otter boom boom Come throw up ON MY COUCH I'll tell you my evil THOUGHTS TONIGHT BLOOD, PEE, VOMIT AND A FOURTH ONE YOU KNOW I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE

(Lovely little clay thing You woke up a demon in me And I feel safe, yeah, so safe I'll never go to sleep now)

Suis-je un torrent ?

Un torrent, une tornade, la nature qui détruit, tout simplement Depuis des ans, et des ans, coincée là où tout meurt, lentement Est-ce que tu m’aurais crue si je t’avais dit qu’un jour, ça prendrait fin ? Est-ce que tu m’aurais crue si je t’avais parlé de la joie sans chagrin ? Tu es sortie de ces rapides qui te précipitaient dans la solitude Tu as gravi, tu as changé, rechangé, et enfin émergé de la lassitude

Prends ma main, tu as donné tellement de voix à ces derniers mois Prends leur main, tu as construit tellement de choix à toutes ces voies Finie la confusion des amis en ennemis, ennemis en amis Finie la dilution du bleu dans le noir, du soir dans la vie La distance que tu as parcourue est douloureuse, elle le restera Laisse de côté la nostalgie doucereuse, tu ne périras pas

Un talent pour nous, Qui ne saurait vivre sans vous

Suis-je un nombre complexe ?

J’aurais aimé que ce poème soit un remerciement à tous ceux qui ont permis que je ne sois plus la personne que j’étais il y a trois ans J’aurais aimé qu’il dise que je n’ai rien du nombre imaginaire que je croyais être, et que je suis sorti de cette relation de prédation qui m’a abimée Mais je n’ai personne à embrasser pour cet exploit J’en veux à ma famille, et j’en veux à ces adultes qui m’ont encouragée J’en veux à certains amis qui m’ont simplement regardée Le silence, et les maths tachées de sang, de larmes Je ne suis pas un nombre, je ne suis rien de cela Excusez-moi si ceci n’est pas un portrait Je suis une créature de haine ce soir.

Suis-je les rites mortuaires ?

Chaque jour, je me souviens encore un peu plus de ce que j’ai subi

Chaque jour, je comprends un peu mieux ce qu’a été ma vie

Je n’ai connu ni les fêtes de chez moi, ni la mort, seulement l’assassinat

Enfermé bien au-dessus des autres, et en réalité enterré ici-bas

J’apprends à crier, à chanter, à mettre le feu à leurs rêves

Amour destructeur et colère créative valent mille fois leurs fausses trêves

On souffre, et qui est ce « on », si ce n’est leur version du « vous » ?

Tristes menteurs qui déversent du poison dans nos deux joues

Mais je ne veux plus être ces funestes célébrations

Elles m’ont été imposées jusque dans ma maison

Rites mortuaires, laissez-moi devenir les transes de la naissance

Qui renaît, qui grandit, qui forge notre essence

Vocalises et chants, rythmes et pas, ça sonne bien comme ça sonne mal

Brillent ceux dont la vue les rend pâles

I FUCKING HOPE YOU SPEND EVERY DAY THINKING ABOUT HOW YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN PATHETIC FOR 27 YEARS AND MORE (I hope the guilt eats you alive)

Bitter existence, better transcendence, and a chalice of bloodied gold, chalice of golden blood Wires connect each other, nonsensical, as I walk among the polluted fog I can’t breathe in this air you’ve killed, and one after another, bodies fall with too many eyes watching Our sacrifice, meaningful and senseless, for what have you done to what could have been, greedy lying Propaganda masters circling everyone, where all their made-up sins intersect, lips sewn shut But even without a mouth, I’ll be screaming

SO PUT ME IN A CAGE IF YOU MUST, PUT ME HERE AND PUT ME THERE, YOU’RE NOT GETTING RID OF ME EVEN IN DEATH I SUBSIST, EVEN IN DEATH I DON’T PERISH, ETERNAL GASOLINE BURNING, STUCK IN YOUR THROAT IF YOU SEE ME AS A BURDEN, I’LL MAKE SURE TO BURY YOU, DEFILE YOUR GRAVE, SPIT ON YOUR IMAGE

Spreading ashes beyond white-made borders, a spinless dance to honour those who couldn’t carry on Charred fingers, for no good reason, but I cannot decay, all alone, without the roots you’ve torn apart I can’t see the sun, hidden behind your lack of justice, and slowly, I can feel the greatest collapse We walk still, no matter how desperate you want us to be, like a broken toy who can’t give up any more You’ve beat me so much, low beneath humanity, where your world doesn’t shine, superficial coatings And yet, from everywhere, I’ll be screaming

MY SPIRIT IS GREATER THAN MY BODY, IT BURNS ON AND ON, UNTIL I COMMIT ARSON ON YOUR ABUSIVE THORNS I HOPE YOU GROW TO REGRET YOUR BIRTH, PRAY WHEN I HAUNT YOU, I HOPE YOU FEEL EVEN A TENTH OF MY CURSE ETERNAL GASOLINE BURNING, DOUSED YOUR EYES IN IT, I’LL SHINE SO BRIGHTLY YOU WON’T SEE NOTHING BUT YOUR MISERY

ETERNAL GASOLINE ETERNAL GASOLINE

Rotting in happiness (Prose)

Sweet syrup tasting of transcendance. Blood is being shed every day, and I don't know anything of the place they lacerated way before my birth, still do. Miserable nobody from the start; I hatched into a world without my roots, and before long, I lost myself in that lightful dirt promoted by those who bloodied where I should've been. I've grown, not too proud of the past; hopeful and determined for the future.

Lately, momentarily, I haven't felt like anything. Working, studying for exams, I have time to do all of that. Yet, no, what for? I don't feel depressed, that's not why I can't seem to bother. On the contrary, I'm too delighted amidst the anger. I've touched it, sucking on candy; lucky enough to have food and shelter, I dream. Suspended outside of reality for just a bit when I'm in my apartment, I'm convinced capitalism died, convinced all the consequences aren't real. Sometimes, I feel like going downstairs to get drugs, as if it weren't criminalised.

I then remember that I'm a miserable nobody without roots, still longing for more than a house, I want a home. I know this is all a delusion and that I can't make the mistake of being content. That pretty caramel of my life will burn if I don't get up and get back to the loving anger, to the trash. I've seen a vision of what could be, grazed it, but I'm alone. Don't let me rot in sweet happiness, because although my smiles are real, they could kill if I say they're enough.

I need friends, I want to hang out, and besides, I long for community. I love floating, but there's nowhere to come down to. I don't want to fly so high that I get lost, that I lose sight of myself. If I'm given the luck of relative stability nowadays, I'll share it. Untill all is free, that joy be invested toward a fight. Untill all is free, joy itself is resistance, as long as I don't keep to myself.

Sweet syrup tasting of transcendance. There is no point if I'm alone. Burn everything down now, rave on their ashes; they're splitting us up, we need to get back together and rave on their ashes. Fuse with the land, don't let me rot in happiness, let us grow in it.

Forgot to live

In the darkness, at night, a peaceful fight Sometimes, a puddle shining so bright A bunny hop on it and it splatters, splashes colours There are rainbows hidden everywhere, saturated, low contrast But it's unfair to only notice after jumping

She thought she couldn't be redempted She was fine with being a bad person, so long as they sparkled Wasted many lives, wasted many lives, forgot to live Is there any meaning to this pirouette? Didn't deserve the past, doesn't deserve the future

She looks at the hearts linked through threads That is when she notices that instead of tying those together They covered it; black hidden by brown, red in a crystal Justice got lost in selfishness, justice got scared in independance Didn't forget to live, refused to

That would be fine if it didn't kill too.

CLOCKWORKS PART IIII

Exploring new horizons with an angle I never knew Saddened, sitting in silence, oh, how easily you flew But I’m a craftsman, and so long that I look at you A simple breath, hidden in waves, and I have songs to do

My body aches most of the day, but you’ve been there for my soul There is no world in which I wouldn’t tear myself apart for your words You cry and laugh, blush and heat stroke, call that unfair for all the care Doesn’t matter, look in my eyes, you’ll see that this is mere justice I repair with a clumsy love what you thought you couldn’t deserve And if you’re shocked, and if you leave, I’ll still have more to write about A breach into your esteem, such a small, ridiculous hole Shut down defences, and let me close, I will breathe in the bliss of my verse and prose

AND SUDDENLY I SHOUT AGAIN BECAUSE FUCK IT AM I WORRIED? ALL THE DAMN TIME THINKING OF YOU I’M ONLY JOKING TO COVER UP ALL THE SHIT THAT IS MESSED UP I’M NOT OBSESSED BUT I’VE YOUR FLOWERS ON MY WALLS

AND SUDDENLY I CRY AGAIN BECAUSE FUCK IT AM I SORRY? ALL THE DAMN TIME HAUNTED BY ME WHAT’S UP WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN BEFORE I GAVE BIRTH TO MYSELF AGAIN WHO’S THIS GUY WITH A THOUSAND EYES AND NOTHING ELSE AND NOTHING ELSE

From now on, standing on one leg, with half a mind so full of moon If I’ve broken your heart, let me digest your pain Ease it out with my love, spit it out working again From now on, pathetic on the floor, with a quarter of mind so full of moon If I’ve hurt you, give it to me, I’ll rework it so thorough It took me years to find out how to make a poison into a smiling brew

On a carousel, I hurt my shin Asked me out, I hurt when I spin Contained the nausea and the bruise So I could take you on a cruise

Clockworks of yet another part, because a watch needs this many Many and more, and more again, few lines I wrote while you were sleeping Sleeping on my own couch, I looked at you, and I thought, man this isn’t new New flame in hand, plume there once more, the draft becomes the next chapter Chapter of us together for one night that is timeless Timeless and forever and you can rest with my blessings

I blessèd you I blessèd you Raining on the moon, little rocks of poetry

CLOCKWORKS PART III

Loop out of time, you’ll feel my crime Don’t drop a dime, love at its prime

(So tell me, did you think you’d get off this easily? Vertigo’s gone, but I am back, inspired for part 3)

I don’t want you to be a shadow no more, cause you’ve been my secret light A lantern in the sky, the moon shining so bright, and I’ve been staring Middle of the night, picture it, your laugh and mine, down in the streets Knock at a door, united once more, go trick or treat, our precious lore

I WANT YOU TO PAINT MY FACE KISS ME ALL YOUR PRETTY COLOURS I WANT YOU TO BE MY CAFFEINE RADIOACTIVE SUGAR MELTING IN MOUTH

Look me in the eye, one knee on the ground, but no ring to be seen Just my vomited soul, choked on the ugly heart I’ve in my chest I’ll never get tired of playing, never ever, your pinkie in my hand So won’t you reciprocate it too? Hold tightly what I’ve bled for you It’s warm and dumb, it’s thick and floats, it’s the evil ripped out my throat Serotonin branched out on noradrenaline, my one hit of a love story

I CAN’T HAVE YOU BE AWAY LOOK WHAT I’VE DONE LOOK WHAT I’LL DO TAMED MONSTER PERCHANCE OR PER YOU LUCKY ENOUGH I WILL EMBRACE

It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt, when I feel your warmth It’s not too much, it’s not too much, when I hear your breath

(Now, take a few steps, gently, friend, get closer for the following I’ll open us up for tonight, the stars our witnesses, we’ll be loving)

FEASTING ON YOUR ORGANS WITHOUT STABBING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS YOU KNOW, IF WE’RE TAKING THE HIGHWAY, I DON’T WANT TO KILL HOW BOUT I START CALLING IT MAKING YOU ALIVE CAUSE THAT’S THE REAL TRUTH EATING YOUR EYES OUT EATING YOUR BRAINS OUT EATING YOUR LIVER THAT’S BEEN INTOXICATED WITH MY ME ANABOLISING ALL THE COMPLIMENTS OF YOUR PRETTY JESTERNESS ANNIHILATING THE LIES AND OLD TREACHERIES DON’T YOU KNOW I’M AFRAID BEHIND THE SMILE DON’T YOU DARE GET AWAY WITH YOUR PROBLEMS EATING MORE AND MORE I’LL EAT IT ALL NOTHING TO HIDE NOTHING TO CRY NOTHING TO HIDE NOTHING TO CRY NOTHING TO HIDE NOTHING TO CRY WE ARE EVERYTHING

Kindness in the morning, sobering up, but I’ll chug that rapture again and again Distant sometimes, but you’ve entered my mind, my everyday can’t be plain Wide awake as long as you are, it doesn’t matter if I’ve done so much outside this plan Because to write within the clockworks, I don’t need any lifespan

Loop out of time, you’ll feel my crime Don’t drop a dime, love at its prime

dearest alls, i could write to tell you there are no words could narrate a devastation a plea to make you cry but that would be a lie "no words" from your warm seat are a lie there will not be silence fuck your pity-party bullshit fuck you who can think of an I without a We