This was really difficult to record. I know I’ll get a ton of hate for this, but it was a necessary step in healing. Your likes and supportive comments on the video would be much appreciated. 🩷💙💚🧡

The first message was a voice mail left by police after the first of FOUR swatting attempts by #yellowjackets fans who have harassed me and put me in danger for speaking out about ableism. The second image shows me saying in code so as to not trigger anyone “So sick of waiting around to die” - because I can’t get treatment and everything keeps getting taken from me. The person responded in code “Then do it”. The others are just some recent hate messages I got, except for the last one. The last one is a direct response to my public posts about ableism, and their ego getting bruised because they tried to make an ableism issue all about them. This is silencing disabled people. No one is messaging anyone in an unsafe way. This is about PUBLIC posts. But as you see, they don’t consider ableism a real issue. They’re expressing hurt feelings from disabled people telling them they’re being ableist.

I found out 2 people who worked to gain my trust and were enthusiastically messaging me lied to people, telling them that I messaged them inappropriately. I can’t trust ANYONE.

Let it also be known that the false story keeps changing. First I was messaging minors inappropriately; then I guess that wasn’t believable enough so they changed it to inappropriate messages in general. Now it’s literally, “How dare you respond to someone’s message”. Anything to get the focus off of their ableism.

I have been terrified for 2 days that I or my dogs are gonna get shot by one of the armed men that keep showing up at my place. All of this happened because people refuse to speak up. They’ll gladly watch me die first. I had to go on Lithium as a sui**** preventative in response to this.

I am no longer hosting The Antler Queens. It just isn’t safe for me as a disabled person to cover a show with such an intensely ableist Fanbase. I have BEGGED publicly for help with holding my aggressors accountable, and people don’t care. The other day I got dogpiled by ableists in the fandom telling me to unalive myself and that I’m manipulative and make the fandom unsafe for everyone by talking about ableism, which isn’t a real issue but a petty one. They knew I had SI and knowingly made it worse. They continue being offended by being called ableist as they engage in ableism.

I don’t want to live in a world that won’t let me exist and thrive. I’m doping myself up on sedatives to stay asleep as much as possible because being awake is too painful. Nobody would want to live like this.

Anyway, if you want to cohost with Pamela, hit her up.

I no longer want to live. #Yellowjackets fans accused me of many untrue things and told me to k*ll myself. They said that I was sending inappropriate messages, which I’ve never done, accusing them of ableism (I’ve only accused ableists of ableism), and told me that posting about the daily ableist abuse I face is manipulative, makes everyone unsafe and is not activism, nor is what I experience a real problem.

So The Antler Queens is over. And I don’t want to live anymore.

The Ones Who Live Afterparty: Episode 2 - Gone #TWD

Join us for an inclusive, live chat aftershow immediately following the latest episode of The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live on AMC, starring Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes and Danai Gurira as Michonne. Uncover shocking fan theories, dissect pivotal moments, and dive deep into the world of TWD with fellow enthusiasts. Plus, we're opening up the lines for viewer call-ins, so you can share your thoughts and reactions on screen with us! Don't miss out on the ultimate post-episode experience! #TWD #TheOnesWhoLive #Aftershow

We're going live right after new episodes of The Ones Who Live every Sunday! The chat will be open before, during, and throughout the episode and our afterparty, and I'll be sharing a link for folks to call in voice their thoughts (Cameras encouraged, but not required!)! Come hang out with us and celebrate the return of Rick and Michonne!

Also, our channel is currently under attack, so we could use your support!! See you all tonight!!

I am still dealing with this harassment. And the trauma never ends. I feel like I’ve lost all hope for the future. This is going to kill me and unfortunately, many people think it’s deserved. I’ve never had a mean bone in my body. I’ve done nothing to any of these people except give them a platform which they used to take advantage of me.

I have been wanting to share my story, because the burden of silence has been slowly killing me. I practiced by posting this with zero hashtags. Now Im having 5 minutes of courage and will try this again. If you know of any way you can help me, please let me know. I lost so many YouTube subs and followers because of them. Do not harass anyone in here, and do not harass me. I'm keeping a file of every hateful message I get.

I got screwed over by my cohosts that I brought on. They abandoned me over my “distracting” health condition, implying that Showtime would feel the same way. I brought on a new co-host and she lied and backstabbed me the moment she felt like she might get more personal gain from the other podcast. She set me up, knowing how bad my mental health was from this.

This is most of the story, told via evidence.

It's been a while.

A lot of really crappy things happened and I got locked out of my account. But I'm back now and I need to say that I've been carrying around a burden for the past 14 months that has given me PTSD in addition to the CPTSD I already had from previous trauma. I cannot post it anywhere other than here, because I feel like this is where the fewest people will see it. And while I want to scream this from the mountaintops, I cannot safely do that without a decent sized supportive and engaged audience, which is something I do not currently have. So I'm just posting this to get it off my chest. If something good comes from it, then I'll leave it up, but otherwise, I plan to take it down in 24 hours or less.

If you know of any way you can help me, please let me know. I can’t afford an attorney so all I can do is try to find support and figure out how to get back what my harassers took from me while stopping them from continuing to take from me.

I got screwed over by my cohosts that I brought on. They abandoned me over my “distracting” health condition, implying that Showtime would feel the same way. I brought on a new co-host and she lied and backstabbed me the moment she felt like she might get more personal gain from the other podcast. She set me up, knowing how bad my mental health was from this.

This is most of the story, told in evidence.

📢📢Carylers and Carol fans!!

It's a WELCOME HOME CAROL PARTY!! Also our official #TWDDarylDixon finale afterparty. But it's also a pajama party! So put on your pjs and join us for some S1 finale discussion and LOTS of squealing over the queen's return!

This isn't about us. We want as many of you there as possible so we can squeal and cry and fangirl like crazy over our favorite adorable, cookie-baking, arrow-slinging, pyromaniac being back! So put on your pjs and come join us!

And please share this!

#TWDCaryl @WalkingDead_AMC

This week's 5 Clueful Quickies for The Walking Dead Daryl Dixon Episode 4: La Dame de Fer. Take a guess as to how you think the quotes and objects are used, and whoever comes closest the most often (and doesn't get screeners) will get a prize at the end of the season!

Can you tell we were a little annoyed? 😂

Check out the full episode on our channel!