pipsqueakparker’s fic masterlist

decided that this might be a fun thing to do and keep my focus for a while, so i’m finally compiling all of my AO3 fics and tumblr drabbles together here! separated by series & rating, hopefully i’ll keep this updated, please enjoy and pardon that i don’t use proper summaries just the ‘AKA’ titles that i always give my fics. 

SERIES

dirty little secrets;

1. kiss me, AKA The One Where Simon Snow Actually Figured It Out (T) 2. don’t tell anyone, AKA The Accidental Sequel To That One Ficlet (T) 3. who has to know, AKA The One Where The Boys Really Test Their Abilities To Keep Secrets (G)

gamer-guru playlist; 

1. Like & Subscribe, AKA The One Where Simon & Baz Are YouTubers & Secretly In Love (G)

a five-years-later au; 

1. you’re a fit one, mr. grinch, AKA The One Where It’s Their Fifth Anniversary And Simon Has Some Questionable Kinks (E) 2. new memories, AKA Another One Where Baz Proposes (E) 3. for-fucking-ever, AKA The One With The Honeymoon (E)

MULTI-CHAPTER

simon snow’s guide to the perfect pride, AKA Simon & Baz Attend Their First Pride (Complete, 3/3) 

RATING: GENERAL

the one with baz’s ridiculous beauty routines, AKA does what it says on the tin (words: 1335)

read to me, AKA The One Where We All Indulge In The Idea Of Baz Reading To Simon Cause It’s Cute Okay? (words: 1316) 

new year’s eve, AKA The One With The Semi-Cliche NYE Kiss (words: 1565) 

tell me you need me, AKA The One Where Simon Wants To Be Wanted (words: 1407)

that tickles, AKA The One Where Simon Finds Out Something New (words: 803) 

i missed you, AKA The One Where Baz Is A Big Ol’ Softie (words: 440) 

1:24 AM, AKA The One Where Baz & Simon & Their Cat Cuddle (words: 900) 

swing, AKA The One Where Simon & Baz Make Out In A Park (words: 762) 

baz’s first halloween, AKA The One Where Simon & Baz Take Mordelia Trick or Treating (words: 2312) 

Eclipsed, AKA The Sad One Post Break-Up (words: 971) 

the one where they’re lesbians, AKA The One Where They’re Lesbians (words: 1217) 

the taste of my love, AKA The One With Their First Valentine’s Day (words: 3568)

five more minutes, AKA The One With Soft, Sleepy Kisses And Cuddles (words: 456)

night terrors, AKA The One Where Baz Sleeps In Simon’s Arms, Peacefully (words: 1065)

overgrown, AKA The One With Sleepy Sofa Snuggles (words: 390)

RATING: TEEN & UP

confetti & communication, AKA The One Where Baz Is On A Curious Search (words: 1035) 

getting better, AKA The One Where Simon Just Wants to Be A Fool in Love (words: 3060) 

a selfish request, AKA The One Where Baz Should Be Doing Anything Else (words: 349) 

heavy sleeper, AKA The One Where Simon Has to Wake Baz, Creatively (words: 929) 

hold me, AKA The One Where Baz Is Low-Key Affection-Starved And Asks For It (words: 536) 

three years, AKA The One Where Baz… (words: 1873) 

Homemade, AKA The One For Baz’s Birthday (words: 3006)

frail, AKA The One Where Simon Isn’t Fragile (words: 1369)

seven minutes, AKA The One With The Dumb Party Game (words: 1269)

solid-c’s, AKA The One Where Baz Distracts Simon This Time (words: 908)

better than fighting, AKA The One That’s Just Gratuitously Making Out (words: 485) 

the snack that smiles back, AKA, The One Where Simon Is The Greatest Boyfriend Ever (words: 2150) 

it’s all about intentions, AKA Simon’s Birthday Fic 2020 (words: 3485)

RATING: MATURE 

f.y.e, AKA The One Where Simon Really Is Trying To Be The Downfall of Baz’s Education (words: 563) 

3 times baz didn’t mean to use his thrall + 1 time he did (a butter & jam remix), AKA The One Where Baz’s Thrall Is The Only Plot Point (words: 3232)

RATING: EXCPLICIT 

Brought to Heel, AKA The One Where Baz Wears Heels And… More (Then Less) (words: 7982) 

pleasin’ season, AKA The One Where They Get Off In The Kitchen This Time (words: 1452) 

adequate, AKA The One Where They Make A Mess (words: 1332)

reflection, AKA The One Where They Finally Get Off (words: 3058)

double vision, AKA The One Where There Are Two Bazes (words: 5502)

I should update this

gotta protect the sun sensitive bf

be the monster you want to fuck in the world

Reblog if you want your followers to tell you which fictional character you remind them of.

I’m up for this! Send me an ask with which character!

I’m a little bit obsessed with makeover/dressing scenes where the reveal is an undeniable downgrade from what the character started out with. Top tier comedy

This absolute disgrace…

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

the trick is be a good parent so they don’t wanna fight you. son if you topple my criminal empire how will i pay for your college? reverse batmanning

Weaponized guilt. Son you’re out on a school night? When you have that big science test tomorrow? I thought you’d be studying…getti g some rest…no I’m not mad I’m just. Well a little disappointed I guess. What do you mean this wouldn’t be happening if I’d stop robbing banks their insurance covers it son money isn’t real

Who’s this guy is he your “sidekick”? That’s so cute when are you having him over for dinner. I’m not teasing I think it’s sweet I’m glad you’re making friends. Side note how durable is he I’m about to throw a car at you

my body is a vessel for the bit

Boyfriends being boyfriends. Naps and cuddles and wearing each other’s clothes.

Last minute entry for Day 25 of Carry on Countdown. Sleep. 💜💜

so did you cry throughout the entire Matilda Musical or are you neurotypical, mentally stable, and have a healthy relationship with your family?

Crying right now because trans people are so amazing… Smoking weed too… Merry Christmas…

Smoking TWO blunts this year… All for you, trans people.

In my mind, this is Watford-Era, an alt first kiss. Interpret however you like, though. ❤️

This was created for Carry on Countdown for a few prompts! I wish I could have posted on one of these days but it takes the time it takes.

Day 19: Heal Day 20: Fangs Day 23: Hurt/Comfort

masc and femme becoming synonyms for "man" and "woman" is the worst thing to ever happen to gay ppl

I just saw someone say masc lesbians don't exist. are you fucking stupid

“Tell her ur gay” (written at the receiver of a telephone booth)

oh u can have this post i don’t want it

Gee, thanks mista! Oi Avent had a post to me own since and mum n pop died of influenza! I'll be certain to cherish it as if it were me little brutha who died from influenza also

Woss-all this then? You cheeky li’uhl buggah, wheh’d you get that post? Didn’t I tell you wha’ ‘appens to li’uhl boys that steal posts, hm? If your dear old mum knew she’d catch influenza with shame.

Oh no, Officer! I know ‘im, and ‘e’s a good lad; ‘e ‘elped me find daddy when I was lost in th market! I’m sure my father would be happy to let me pay for th’ post! Father is just around the corner getting influenza

'Ere offisah, dahn't truss that littuw giwl, orrite? She's the one wot stole foive bob from me larse week she did, when i was recovering in St. Urchin's 'Ome For Those With Influenza. And I sorer shewwin 'er ankles to some poor gent dahn the pub yesserday arfernoon while 'er ol' dad stole the poor bugger's influenza roight aht the man's pokkit. She's a baddun orrite. Fling 'er dahn the nick.

if i knew they were gonna make my post british i never would’ve gave it away

it’s almost halloween…… vampires…… my window will be open………..