"If I were not myself...”

A special Eid Mubarak to all my Muslims around the world. I hope this day is filled with endless blessings and happiness. Please pray for Muslims in Afghanistan, Kashmir, China, Yemen, Palestine, and other places where they are unable to celebrate Eid. May Allah grant them safety and ease their sufferings. Ameen.

Hey, i know y'all love the fact that Vico Ortiz or David Jenkins or Con O' Neil are so vocally supportive of fanworks. I do too.

But.

Quelch the parasocial attitude now that it's early. Don't treat these people like your best friends or ask their opinions on fandom things. It's very nice that they like fanwork but for fuck's sake, try to leave them alone. Don't look for their approval. Have a chuckle and move on.

I saw countless times what happens to approachable crew when they meet with overentusiastic fanbases on twitter and it. never. ends. well.

People who simp on Bruno

the year is 2026. you're getting married to your wonderful partner. it's the happiest moment of your life. as you say the vows and kiss as a married couple for the first time, you freeze in shock. you see him in the crowd

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

ok

update: we are dating

update: we are married

update: we knocked up

This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!

Update: had a baby together

Update: he’s 1 year old today

Well this is adorable!

This is the top quality I want on my dash. No other post besides this and Mash Potato the dog matters on this site.

the fact that the original post was made back in 2012 and the 1-year-old baby update was as recent as 2021, the development and plot that happened within this post in an almost nine year timespan …this person truly Won tumblr

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it. Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this. There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color. But, hey, at least it tastes good, right? High five, America!

oh my god

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

date of origin: 2012

A classic

this just makes me wanna get some nuggets from mcdonalds for some reason

the fact op thought they could even get away with that blatant misinformation in the first place when the graphic they used was the fucking Tubby Custard machine amuses me like.

Even if you didn’t know what Teletubbies was that thing does not at all look like something you’d find in a factory, it’s colorful and colors cost extra.

that’s because OP’s post is a joke

I feel weird that I’m been here long enough to remember the original context–OP is mocking this post:

the picture clearly looks like some sort of strawberry ice cream, so OP did a copypasta of the original text and replaced with picture with something even funnier.

Both posts went around a lot, but it’s funny that the second, mocking post is now being reposted like OP is some kind of idiot instead of a comedic genius

the original post is actually still here: https://early-onset-of-night-blog.tumblr.com/post/1206666159/say-hello-to-mechanically-separated-chicken-its and apparently the original OP is a satire blog, anyway. So nobody was serious in the whole exchange

Getting new context for this ancient meme in the year of our lord 2021 is giving me whiplash.

The artist Paweł Ponichtera seems to have inexplicably dedicated a massive amount of time and effort to hyper-detailed and hyper-accurate illustrations of chinchillas engaged in historical fencing, many with clear and specific reference to particular historical treatises. So, I give you:

Hans Talhoffer Chinchillas

Harnisfechten Chinchillas

Joachim Meyer Longsword Chinchillas

Fantastical Snail Marginalia Chinchillas

Olympic Epee Chinchillas

Salvator Fabris Rapier-in-the-Nude Chinchillas

Napoleonic Saber Chinchillas

Arabic Shamshir Chinchillas

18th Century Smallsword Chinchillas

I.33 Sword and Buckler Chinchillas

Oh this is delightful.

do you think

Reblog to give a trans woman a warm cup of soup

certified soup post

Reblogging with the addition of the Dill Pickle Cream soup recipe from the former Portland restaurant Rheinlander, in case any trans girls want to make their own soup.

I made the laziest version of this recently by

1. Making the roux with about a cup of broth

2. Using five times the amount of pickles called for, and then

3. Running everything through a food processor

I put it all together and brought it to a quick boil with the bay and cloves, the added the cream before serving (I use table cream. I suggest if you do the same you may add a bit more than the recipe calls for)

you will receive the Order of Lenin for this

they say we are asleep until we fall in love we are children of dust and ashes

first time i heard your voice moonlight burst into the room and i saw your eyes and i saw your smile and the world opened wide and the world was inside of me and i catch my breath and i laugh and blush and i hear guitar you are so good for me i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

imagine you’re dave malloy and it’s 2017 and you lose the tony for best orchestration to dear evan fucking hansen and you can’t even talk shit about it online like the rest of us. how do you deal with that

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

You shouldn’t want to support a community just so you can call yourself an ally.

You should support them because it’s the right thing to do.

me in 2018 hearing lil nas x sing old town road: hehe funny horse song cowboy man

me in 2021 watching lil nas x do the absolute most, release bop after bop, become the gay icon our generation needs: amazing brilliant talented show stopping completely not ever been done before mind blowing absolutely stunning