May you find exactly what you want at the thrift shop, in your price range, next time you’re there.

can’t pass up this kinda karma

and in your size

definitely cant pass it up now jeez

can we take a moment to just think about how incredibly scary magical healing is in-context?

You get your insides ripped open but your friend waves his hands and your flesh just pulls back together, agony and evisceration pulling back to a ‘kinda hurts’ level of pain and you’re physically whole, with the 100% expectation that you’ll get back up and keep fighting whatever it was that struck you down the first time.

You break your arm after falling somewhere and after you’re healed instead of looking for ‘another way around’ everybody just looks at you and goes “okay try again”.

You’ve been fighting for hours, you’re hungry, thirsty, bleeding, crying from exhaustion, and a hand-wave happens and only two of those things go away. you’re still hungry, you’re still weak from thirst, but the handwave means you have ‘no excuse’ to stop.

You act out aggressively maybe punch a wall or gnash your teeth or hit your head on something and it’s hand-waved because it’s ‘such a small injury you probably can’t even feel it anymore’ but the point was that you felt it at all?

Your pain literally means nothing because as long as you’re not bleeding you’re not injured, right? Here drink this potion and who cares about the emotional exhaustion of that butchered village, why are you so reserved in camp don’t you think it’s fun retelling that time you fell through a burning building and with a hand-wave you got back up again and ran out with those two kids and their dog? 

Older warriors who get a shiver around magic-users not because of the whole ‘fireball’ thing but the ‘I don’t know what a normal pain tolerance is anymore’ effect of too much healing. Permanent paralysis and loss of sensation in limbs is pretty much a given in the later years of any fighter’s life. Did I have a stroke or did the mage just heal too hard and now this side of my face doesn’t work? No i’m not dead from the dragon’s claws but I can’t even bend my torso anymore because of how the scar tissue grew out of me like a vine.

Magical healing is great and keeps casualties down.

But man.

That stuff is scary.

shit just got creepy

Or maybe magical healing doesn’t leave scars or damage. It is magical, after all.

So after years of fighting, your skin is still perfect. Unmarred. In fact, you’re actually in better shape than regular people who don’t get magical healing when they fall out of trees or walk into doors or cut themselves while cooking dinner. You’re in such good shape that it’s unnatural.

And the really good healing magic takes away more than just the obvious injuries. You first start noticing it after about ten years when you go home and haha, you look the same age as your younger sibling, that’s funny.

Not so funny ten years later when they look older. Or forty years later, when you bury them still looking like you did at twenty. When do you retire from this gig anyway? How much damage is too much damage?

How many times do you glimpse the afterlife, or worse, how many times don’t you? What do you live through, get used to, show no outward sign of except a perfectly healthy body, too perfect for any person living a real life.

How many times are you sitting in a tavern with your friends and you hear the whispers, because the people around you know. How can they not know? Your weapons shine with enchantments and your armour is better than the best money can buy and there is not a damn scar on you. You hardly seem human to them.

How long before you hardly seem human to yourself?

And you find yourself struggling to remember the places where the scars should have been, phantom pains that wake you screaming, touching all the old injuries and finding nothing there. It’s all in your head. Was it ever anywhere else?

How long before you’re fighting a lich or a vampire or some other undead monster and you wonder…

…what makes me so different?

Here we go someone who GETS IT.

I often wonder how much biological/medical knowledge does a magical healer need to do their job? Are they in control of the process, telling the skin, muscles and tendons where to go? Or is it a time-manipulation job? And if so is one rewinding time to put that broken arm back together or are they speeding up time to hasten the body’s natural healing process? In which case ain’t nothing going to heal perfectly. I guess the OP was talking about the latter while the responder was talking about something similar to the former rewinding of time…

I also wonder about healing magics and non-physical damage. What about disease? Can healing magic cure the common cold? What does it do to cancer? Encourage its growth or kill it?

I think about this ALL THE TIME because it combines my love of fantasy with medicine. I tried to write about it once here.

In my opinion you need a whole heap of medical knowledge to magically heal damage, with more knowledge for more complicated healing.

You need to know what’s on the inside, what’s normal, what’s not, and when to stop. Healing a little skin graze is easy because you can see what you’re doing, but healing an internal injury is one heck of a task if you don’t know what a liver, diaphragm and stomach are supposed to look like or what a pancreas does anyway.

A body doesn’t just ‘know’ the way it’s supposed to be or grow. Each individual cell adapts to the cells next to it. In a growing embryo they basically figure themselves out, After trauma, they do their best with what they’ve got, but bodies can be tricked into healing the wrong way. If you cut off somebody’s hand just above the wrists and fixed the broken ends of those bones together, they would absolutely heal.

If you’re speeding up healing (cell growth) then some tissue types will heal better than others. Bone can heal to 100% of its previous strength, even in the real world, it just takes weeks or months. Skin reaches almost 100%. Tendons only reach 70% of their original strength.Teeth never heal.

So to get the most convenient type of magical healing represented in fiction, you need to be able to reverse the growth process (to bring cells back to an earlier stage so you have stem cells to regrow teeth, nerves etc) and speed up healing (so it doesn’t take 9 months to 2 years to do so).

If you don’t know what you’re doing, then you will end up with dysfuction or dysplasia at best (organs, limbs and tissue that doesn’t work. For example, skin that isn’t waterproof or too elastic, liver that doesn’t connect to the bile duct) or straight up tumors.

Tumors and cancers are immortal cells with unrestricted growth. That’s how they come about.

So stuff up that magical healing, and you have nasty, rapidly growing tumors. Fibrosaromas, haemangiosarcomas and lymphomas/leukaemias would probably be most common: Cancers of connective tissue (or scar tissue), blood vessels and immune system respectively. These types of tumors are extremely hard to get rid of surgially, if not impossible, and it’s going to take one hell of a healer who can do magical chemotherapy or radiation therapy.

@andrastesknickerweasel this is the one I was talking about!!!

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Holy shit this is getting so freaking better than I thought XD

CASH MONEY

THE FLOWER CROWN

I FINALLY FOUND IT I CANT BREATHE

AAAHHHH!!!! FINALLY!

Ooh a meme

Welp…..might as well join the fun….

Oh god…….

NOPE!!!!

i LOVE ALL YOU GUYS SO MUCH

ITS BACK

YEEEEEEES IT’S ON MY DASH

Finally found it

i dont understand BUT THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS

I FUCKING LOVE THIS

GUESS WHAT I FOUND FUCKERS

Yes this is the third time I’ve reblogged this, what about it?

I’VE FINALLY FOUND IT

I know I absolutely promised no April Fools stuff, but the Library and Archives of Canada announced their major acquisition of the declassified journals and military records of Canadian supersoldier James “Logan” Howlett and I think it’s the best thing I’ve seen all week.

April 1, 2016 – Gatineau, Quebec – Library and Archives Canada (LAC)

Library and Archives Canada (LAC) acquires the declassified journals and military records of Canadian supersoldier James “Logan” Howlett.

Logan was born in 1882 in Cold Lake, Alberta, Canada, to wealthy landowner Elizabeth Howlett and her grounds-keeper Thomas Logan.

Logan’s journals provide valuable insight into his early life in Canada, including work as a miner in a British Columbia stone quarry, a fur trader for the Hudson’s Bay Company, and a homesteader in the Canadian Rockies. His military career spanned multiple conflicts, making his personnel records an unprecedented study in Canadian military history. Logan was gravely wounded in action many times, and gained a reputation as a gritty survivor.

Quick Facts

Facebook. Website.

The page is still up. 

Reblogging my fave Aprils Fools’ post ever.

My birds: Why do you spend all your time in Photoshop? Pay attention to me!!!!!!

Me:

Update: He hates it. XD

This first time I saw this image, I had just woken up and thought I was looking at a pigeon that had been bred with budgie colors. It wasn’t until I saw angry Orzo that I realized what was going on :D

Poke bird makes an even better pigeon.

The king has arrived

She requires offerings

oh YES

but does it work the other way. pigeons into parrots

I don’t know, you tell me!

Everyone is saying that the professor is grinding the Pokémon into candy, but consider the following:

• The professor frantically running around with assistants, inspecting hundreds of thousands of pidgeys a day, getting bitten and screeched at while they try to figure out if this pidgey has been tagged yet so they release them back to track their migration

• Panicked interns trying to scoop the ekanses back into their tank because theyre freaking out the rattatas

• Three caterpies climbed into a vent and evolved into metapods that are too far in to reach so six underpaid college students are trying to dismantle ductwork

• Theres a big door marked “KEEP OUT” because a dozen oddish evolved into a squad of Vileplumes and until they stop releasing stun spores the entire room is just off limits

• Hundreds of researchers running on red bull and determination trying to tag and examine all the Pokemon but having to turn off the machine every once in a while to the discontent of trainers who are all getting a “Sorry, the servers are currently down” message at LEAST twice a day

• “GPS not found” flashes while returning a big group and suddenly Florida has been gifted 6,000 mankeys right in the middle of Epcot

• Someone in the back room up to their waist in stale dog treats with a bunch of little stamps. They sigh deeply at how gullible Pokemon trainers are that they think these things actually do anything other than excite the Pokemon so much they evolve

• Actual science professor surrounded by chaos and interns and a budget just too small

Pokedexes have always been biological survey equipment, and this? Right here? Is largely how actual biology surveys work- you catch and release LARGE numbers of the species you’re studying, as large as you can afford, sometimes keeping them in the lab for observation first. Also if they were running on the average funding of a US university/public bio lab, this would explain… basically everything about the app.

It Also explains why the professor is like HERES SOME POKEBALLS CATCH EM HERES SOME TEAMS FOR FRIENDLY COMPETITION GOGOGO and then vanishes. If he’s running a whole survey on his own he’s probably running on sheer determination and sleeping on his office couch. 

If his office couch is even visible anymore. 

At this point some of the cleverer pokemon have been hired on as well as well. Imagine an Alakazam working as bonafide translator for the scientists and pokemon, since psychic pokemon have telepathy to properly convey thoughts to the humans who can’t understand pokespeak. 

And what if that Alakazam worked its way up from a little lonely Abra who stayed only because the scientists there were really sweet and it wanted to help out. Imagine that little Abra teleporting around the building, delivering coffee and mail to even the most isolated researchers.

This is the Pokemon content I signed up for

Oh my gosh. We’re not gangsters. We’re grad students.

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

Oddly enough, I just got a job, and it is late March.

Got my hearing test results.

And duuuude, I am deaf as a rock. And there’s nothing Ican do about it, since I can’t afford the hearing aids. I started a GoFundMe, so if anyone could help, I really need it.

https://www.gofundme.com/71f0q2o?sharetype=teams&member=1914496&rcid=r01-155320467119-08a2a7e47d964e92&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_m

Fantasy Biology: Drider

Ah, Driders. The Underdark Drow’s answer to centaurs, but with even more legs. They are humanoid (dark elf, typically) from head until approximately the waist, then consist of about 95% a completely normal gigantic spider body. Some of their artistic renditions do really make it look like a perfectly normal spider wearing half a humanoid as a hat, which is both fascinating and disturbing.

They also, in much of the lore, are blood feeders, because apparently the only way to improve a Mc Frickin’ spider centaur is to make it a vampiric spider centaur, but this rather makes sense as spiders have relatively small mouths and will partially digest their prey before consumption so seem to prefer a soft, soupy or porridge-like consistency. And finally, their origin story is that Driders are unfortunate (or blessed, depending on the lore) humanoids which have been transformed into their current state by a painful process.

As humans, we have a strong, natural tendency to focus on the ‘human’ part of any hybrid monster, but that is less than half of the anatomy of a Drider, even considering their usual variations in art.

Consider some typical spider anatomy (From Wikipedia) .

And now consider a typical Drider depiction.

(My own highly talented rendition)

Considering that there is significant variation in the relative size of the spider body compared to the humanoid segment, and why wouldn’t there be? The spider can molt and grow, the humanoid part will always remain a fixed size. So the larger the spider body, the older it is.

This looks an awful lot like a perfectly ordinary giant monstrous spider wearing a humanoid as a hat. And that makes sense. Their legends originate as a poor, unfortunate humanoid which failed something, and then gets turned into this spider monster. Subsequent legends re-frame this as a blessing instead of a curse, and instead of scavenging on the outskirts are now revered.

Conclusion: Driders are actually parasitic spiders wearing humanoids as hats to infiltrate and farm the local society building their own spider worshiping cult.

Keep reading

It got better.

I have been gifted this amazing, phenomenal, mind blowing art courtesy of @zooophagous and @why-animals-do-the-thing

You folks sending me monster horses with dog mouths need to up your game. Watch this.

The Bottanical Deck

I’ve been keeping a secret from you. You know about my work-in-progress tarot deck, the Bottanical tarot:

But what you don’t know, is that I have also been working on extra cards, kind of like a super matching oracle deck to go with it:

Four extra suits! There are just so many cool plants out there I couldn’t narrow it down. And, to make these decks even more cohesive, well, it’s not going to be two decks. It’s going to be one.

One super deck of 120 botanically based cards, for all the plant lovers out there.

Trees, flowers, crops, spices, cacti, poisons, herbs, medicinal, mushrooms and maybe even a couple of extras.

Coming in 2019!

https://www.deviantart.com/sylviaritter

@cenizacaer

My BOS

So I found an old anon ask, asking me about my BOS. But when I went to answer it, tumblr ate it. So I’m answering it here!

I use a large planner, a Leuchtturm1917 A5, and a Rhodia dotpad. All of the extra is actually shoved inside the planner. I actually have a plan to hot glue a cut down separator to my Leuchtturm, so I can firmly attach it to the rings in the planner.

The planner itself has a contact section, day-to-day spreads and calendars, pockets, paper protector slips, and extra stuff.

The Rhodia pad is tucked in the back.

And that’s my BOS! I’m still working on it, cuz I only added the Rhodia dotpad and the Leuchtturm1917 here recently.

I have recipes, quotes, spells, charms, tarot spreads, diary entries, to do lists, and a hell of a lot more shoved in this thing.

So there ya go, that’s what I use.

(( I also use Evernote and keep a tonne of stuff in a folder called “BOS”, but I eventually plan on cleaning that up and either printing or copying over the important stuff. ))

“WHY are you STALKING me?” tarot “spread”

It’s not really a spread, more of a method. But anyway, here it is!

First off, try to figure your stalker card out. Meditate with it, freewrite based on it, read the LWB, check out how others have interpreted the same card, ask a friend, etc… When you’re sick of all that and you want more depth, then move on to the next step!

Take that bloody irritating card and tell it what you want (I like to sob-scream “But what do you meeeeaaannnn?” at it, personally), then shuffle it back into your deck - FACE UP. Shuffle it in real good. Don’t peek while shuffling, though, you don’t want to see where the card is until you’re totally done with shuffling.

When you’re through with that, flip through the deck and find the card - super easy cause it’s the only backwards card in the deck - and pull it out AND the 2 cards on either side of it.

The card behind your stalker shows underlying issues that caused the card to show up. Then show up again. And again. It’ll give you the knowledge about why, and knowledge is power.

The card in front of your stalker gives you the action to take, what the card needs from you so it can stop trying to deliver it’s message. It’s your first step to freedom!

Where the stalker ended up in the deck before you pulled it and the surrounding cards out also comes into play. If it was near the top of the deck, it is mostly in relation to practical, real-world tangible life. The farther you have to dig to find it, the more likely it is the card is speaking to you on a deeper, spiritual level.

Hopefully this will help y'all with any stalker card issues you might come across! I’d love to know if this works for you, so feel free to shoot me a message or tag me if you use it!

ALRIGHT EVERYONE I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO FUCKIN INVOICES SO HERE YOU GO HERE’S THE TUTORIAL

invoices are an easier / safer way to request money from commissioners. all the commissioner has to do is accept to pay the money, so you don’t have to worry about them clicking or typing anything that will get you in trouble with paypal.

STEP 1

under Invoice Information you can choose what date your invoice needs to be paid by. if you don’t have a specified date for your commissioner then make sure to select No Due Date so they don’t get into any trouble for not paying by the default date.

STEP 2

go through your Business Information to make sure it’s only showing what you want it to show. your default template may show your address, phone number, name, etc, but everything is optional and can be turned off. personally i only keep my e-mail visible so commissioners know where the invoice is coming from.

STEP 3

your commissioner’s e-mail goes here

STEP 4

fill out what your commissioner is paying for and how much it costs. double check the Total towards the bottom to make sure you’ve filled out everything correctly. keep item names vague like “commission” or “image” since paypal may freeze your account if they catch any buzzwords they don’t like.

STEP 5

here you can fill out any terms and conditions your commissioner should know about, ie when you accept payment, if you give refunds, etc.

STEP 6

in the Memo box you can write a note for yourself to see when you look at the invoice. you can write down who commissioned you and anything else you’ll need to remind yourself of later

TEMPLATE

remember that you can replace the default template so you can save your business info, terms and conditions, etc for the next time you fill out an invoice.

IF PAYPAL IS ASKING YOU TO “SHIP” YOUR DIGITAL COMMISSION

look under Selling Tools on your home page and click Seller Preferences

click Update next to Shipping Preferences

go to Display Ship Button at the bottom and make sure Goods is un-checked

reblogging this again because i’ve been seeing that post about paypal charging thousands of dollars over policy violations floating around

idk what policy violations those apply to, but just in case, i want to direct everyone to invoices, which is a much less risky method of requesting money than relying on the customer to pay themselves!! 

But cities that are magical and sentient tho