no one:

me at 6 years old with a wine glass full of grape juice:

When you’re an archaeologist with a set schedule, sometimes people really get to understand who you are

When I dug in France I always got a croissant at 0520 from the same exact place in Échemines. A week in, they had one lying on the counter for me by the time I walked in. By the second week I got the exact amount I’d pay in hand when I walked in, because they’d reliably have it ready. I made sure to tell the owners that I wasn’t returning on my last day of the dig.

I may mention that every time I ordered in French. On my last day the owners gave me hugs and kindly told me to never speak in French again

They had your order ready so they wouldn’t have to hear you speak French 🤣

OH, MOTHERFUCKER

sword babe

CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE CHIP MASCARPONE FILLING AND CHOCOLATE FUDGE FROSTING

Scalding hot take apparently: if a demographic says “I don’t feel safe in the cisgendered heterosexual society, I need space in the LGBT community” and you say “I’m sorry, you’re not oppressed enough, get out” you’re a fucking asshole.

What this post is about;

What this post is not about;

If your demons know how to swim, then I guess you can say you’ve hit

Croc Bottom

Taipei 101 is THE MOST EVIL building on the planet

Look at this fucking Judge Dredd-level shit, god damn.

This is where the final boss is

it has a gigantic counterweight towards the top to reduce swaying, which is kind of necessary for any very tall building, but its out in public view and painted gold and you can see it like, swinging around

apparently when i was born the…guy after the midwife? the baby doctor? was this russian guy with HUGE hands who just sorta. squeezed my head (my dad says he was worried that he was gonna crush me like a coke can) and was like “this is a strong baby”

#this does not fill me with confidence

yeah the glass sucks but it’s still no match for our shitty weak bears

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

This is what my sleep paralysis demon looks like

He just woke up