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//Penguin Waddle

@derptastic-penguin / derptastic-penguin.tumblr.com

A penguin just living there life as a derp.
Many fandoms (I can't even list here)
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deathcomes4u

honestly this is why Assassins Creed cosplayers are my favourite cosplayers because you’re never sure when one of them is gonna just bust out the parkour but you know at least one of them in a group can do it.

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macko-99

Are you sure they are not Actual Assassins?

modern day Assassins dress as historical assassin to blend in a crowd of cosplayers and #remain_undetected

none of the people even turned when he did that, too, so I’m convinced we’re either living in a simulation or that was an actual assassin

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can we all pls collectively agree to make tying ur jacket around ur waist fashionably acceptable again

i don’t wanna carry my jacket anymore when i get hot

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seshrat

so the cah pride pack has options for buying it “with glitter" and “without glitter” and knowing cards against humanity they just tip like 3 tablespoons of fucking glitter into the pack of cards and send it out

this is absolutely what they’ve done

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uristmcdorf

I did it to myself so you don’t have to

send help

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saints-row-2

im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

  • broke high schooler
  • broke college student
  • freelance photographer
  • high school teacher
  • unpaid intern
  • pizza delivery guy
  • research assistant for doomed scientific project
  • guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos
  • being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

how about dog walker while in spiderman costume

you. you get it

im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just

he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background

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Are straight white people okay????

People like this exist. Interesting.

this story has a part 2

I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are

I thought it was the same person ngl.

I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.

THERE’S AN UPDATE

Stephanie is a true hero.

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I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

Ok but the other one is purring so hard

If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead

Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.

Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.

YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT AND NOT PROVIDE A VIDEO

I HAVE REALISED MY MISTAKE AND SHALL RECTIFY IT:

Cheeps.

Oh my god

I’m dead now

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deerwife

i need to put all three of these pictures in a single post. this is significant. this matters. this is why i exist

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