i promise

“And if you ever needed to hear it, things do get better. Sure, it won’t always be perfect, but those things that slip from your hands… karma is such an absolute thing. It’s actually pretty ridiculous how fast things happen. One moment you’re thinking that it won’t ever get better. That healing is not a viable solution or even a potential future… that happiness is such a standstill thing… an illusion sparked by moonlight and starlit dreams, sometimes when we think about it… everything does happen for a reason. EVERYTHING. You waking up on the wrong side of the bed. You thinking it’s just another normal day at work. You not expecting anything extraordinary… it’s just you and your normal ass day. And then it happens. Whatever IT is— just know that you’ll know when it’s looking right at you. Guns blazing with wildfire prepared to burn you down and you won’t have enough water to stop this, but surely you’ll try. Surely, you wouldn’t let it burn down the garden of safety that you’ve grown. Attachment to such things— how could you have it any other way? If love is what you want then love is what you’ll get. And if you did need to hear it, I know that deep down you’ll read this and feel it and understand it. Because at our core, baby, we just want to feel love.”

—Serendipity is a bitch

And aren’t you beautiful while you’re looking down at me from above— I’ve been absent, and you’ve noticed my absence. I’ve been doing fine, life is quite short and the story doesn’t end here. I know certain things to be true, but keep that gaze of yours as high as high can get. If the moon should fall, let the moonlight spill and splash onto your lips, for words I cannot write will always belong to things I’ve kept close. And I’d secrets are meant to be whispered, I’ve been writing down all of my flaws in hope that you do understand, my heart is strong and it’s beating and I am alive. I am alive.

i hope that your heart is safe and taken care of. i know we don’t talk anymore and maybe you’ll laugh at this, such trivial things, i don’t really know what else to say, but I do pray for your safety and happiness. it is quite true, i know a part of me will always want what is best for you. be good. even if that’s all that we are, every book has a last page, every relationship has a breaking point and every smile knows how to be sad— so if you come across this and wonder if it’s about you, know that it has always been a little bit about you. and it’s funny really… the things we do for love, the smallest little gestures turned into something we can laugh at. if laughing works for you, i hope you get some good energy going with it. keep your thoughts strong and remain stable, yeah, yeah?

“I saw you peeking through the sky the other day and it made me wonder if you were doing okay. I don’t know if it’s real or not, but I do have hope that it was. Life truly is short… we’re here and then we’re not… I can only ask the sun to shine when it’s ready, I can only ask the moon to pull the sea when it’s ready for us to take a sip. Sometimes we’re not okay and that’s okay. The comforts of life, the little things… worlds apart… we still found a way to shine, just like moonlight slipping through clouds and finding its way into my eyes. Star-shine soul with stardust in your veins— if you took us home, if you knew the whole story, if you saw us with all of our glory, please remind us that going out in a bursting and fiery way is as good as living a calm and peaceful life. Sometimes we need both, balance has always been needed. To our needs and wants— if this is what we are, let it be something we’ll always look forward to. Because home is where we believe it to be, and if belief is enough to keep the heart alive, I’ll wager it’s time to smile a little bit more. Because one bad day doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world, it’s just a means for you to begin again. To begin anew. The game is afoot. The plot thickens, ever so slowly, the gestures of glowing and growing into who you should be seems like a good place to start. So start there.”

—don’t go setting yourself on fire, unless you’re running through the rain, balance is everything

It’s the truth, ain’t it.

Enjoy your weekend and I hope you are all loved tonight, I haven’t forgotten about you— I’ve seen you for far too many nights and the other night you were so beautiful. I wanted to pull you down from the sky and ask you why, you always shines brightest when I wasn’t okay, but maybe it’s like that for a reason. Maybe that’s how it should always be, I love you

an unforgotten season

there’s a warmth that follows in your wake. a silence that is inexcusable. you wake up and follow the sun, you wake up and trust the moon to carry the sounds of goodnight and farewell into a sweeter existence. if music didn’t exist, i probably wouldn’t be a thing that exists, that smiles, that breathes, that writes, that talks about, that exudes personality and confidence, that cries when i want to, that laughs loudly because i fucking can. there’s a warmth that follows in your dreams-- a hectic love torn down by the pages, you once asked the sleep to be sweeter than actually having to wake up. so when you woke up chasing a dream, of course you were pissed. there’s a warmth that follows in your wake, strange people napping in your car, strange music blasting through your speakers, strange people texting you just because they want something from you. but who are you really? what’s behind the glamour? does your smile bend when no one is around? do your tears fill up your palms enough times for you to trick river fish back into your palms? are you happiest when you’re alone with your tiny little florals? crafted from blood, sweat. and tears, my mama hates it when i tear at my beautiful skin. i’ve left the ink so damp and dry, i’ve let the sacred geometry bleed into my skin, i’ve been intoxicated by something more than myself. drenched in something more than what i can see with my two dark brown eyes-- drenched in a want, a need, a desperation to want to feel something more. so i laid down my words, i put my heart into the best impression of what it would feel like if the sun could say goodbyes, i’d ask the moon to write me poetry until i’m old and grey, fill up all of your craters with my laughters and let the shooting stars come down to play. there’s a warmth to your beating heart, i’ve heard your stories, you laid down your smile and asked the night to take care of everything you’ve given up on. to breathe, to just exist in a single moment-- if you existed anymore than that single moment of time, your chest would no longer produce heart beats, just silence, thumps here, thumps there. a silent that is inexcusable, i would never ask you to hush. you ask me why i’m still awake, there’s a good reason for it i promise-- the sun has always chased me back to bed, back into dreams, back to where things made sense. if today was all that it was and i’m not here by tomorrow to reap what i sowed... just know that my words will be eternal like black star-lit skies filled with wander and wonder-- if i am just this thing trying to be warm, keep my heart with you. for no matter where you keep me, i’ll most certainly know warmth to be love. and if that’s what love is, you can have that too.

—“the importance of something so insignificant to our daily lives, something as small as how many times over we count the same red petals and if it had any scars, imagining stories as to how they came to be, making shit up just because we can— the very identity of life is to create. you don’t need to be an artist, to create. you’ve always been creativity, your breaths, your hand movements, your smile is art waiting for approval and your heart is poetry waiting to be read. tread lightly, you will always find love when you least expect it my friend.”