TRAXX

Hey shout out to all the low-empathy people out there who had to deliberately learn how to comfort people

Everything I know about how to make people feel better I learned from books and magazines. I took diligent notes, marking down when to offer advice and when to just say "that sucks". I built scripts and tested them until they worked. I learned where my limits were and how to help people without crossing them.

None of this just "developed naturally" as I grew up. I did it consciously and with purpose, because even before I knew I had low empathy I knew there was something different about me, and I knew I'd have to go about it differently if I wanted to fill in the gaps.

Just because you use scripts and deliberate methods to help people doesn't mean you don't really care or that all your soothing words are empty. You just learned in a different way and that's okay.

Hey op? would you mind sharing the notes? 

Unfortunately the notes weren't something I kept as a compendium so much as reminders hastily scribbled on post it notes and such, so I don't exactly have a whole manual to share

But! I've memorized the big important ones, so here's an abbreviated list of "things I learned from magazines about how to make people feel better":

1. When someone tells you about their problems, a common first instinct is to offer solutions. Don't. Most people don't actually want you to fix their problems, they just want a compassionate ear.

2. It can be hard to come up with responses to someone's venting when solutions are off the table. For me, this is where heavy scripting usually comes into play. Its good to have a bank of sympathetic stock phrases. Probably the most versatile one is "I'm sorry, that sucks". When someones really going through it I try to go more serious and use something like "I'm so sorry this is happening to you".

3. Validate them. With few exceptions, most people don't want to be told "its not that bad". What they want is for someone to respect and validate what they're feeling. Don't try to convince them everything is fine, because to most people that just sounds like you're trying to tell them how to feel. Instead, keep stock phrases on hand like "that sounds scary", or "that sounds frustrating". If you can't identify the exact emotion they're feeling, a generic "that sucks" will also work here.

4. And finally, but most importantly; ask people how they like to be comforted! It's a little awkward at first, but it will help a lot in the long run. All the above strategies are stuff I've found works for most people, but everyone is different, and inevitably you're gonna meet someone who doesn't respond well to your scripts. That's okay! Ask them what they need and do your best to stick to what they say. If they're having trouble answering, try A or B questions like "do you want to vent or do you want a distraction?". This will help you narrow down what they need from you in that moment. Even better, try talking about it when you're both feeling okay, so you can have a plan in place for the next time they feel like shit. It's way easier to help someone feel better when you know ahead of time what will do the trick.

youre laughing. the ship i latched onto when i was a naive trusting 13 yr old became canon, then not canon anymore, then canon again but in spanish, then not canon again and youre laughing

the duality of jared saying that was his favorite episode ever and jackles having to be gaslit into doing it and then immediately unfollowing dabb on twitter

Dean was basically killed because he was bi. I KNOW people will say that’s a stretch. But logically, as the story was written, his only happy ending should have been with Cas. They couldn’t let that happen. And they couldn’t give him a Heterosexual Growing Old Montage like they did Sam because of it. So the logical conclusion? Kill him. They couldn’t even show him reuniting with Cas because they KNEW it would’ve had to be gay. They could barely show him mourning Cas because after that love confession, any mourning could’ve been read as gay now. So his happy ending was taken from him and he had to die tragically and have a lackluster happy ending driving in heaven where we didn’t even see what he actually would’ve wanted to do in heaven because once again: it would have been gay. This was bury your gays but worse because he was killed for it before he even got the chance to say it. He was punished and left with an unsatisfying ending because he loved a man.

Thinking about how excited Jensen was about the love confession, how Misha wrote an essay about it and what queer Cas meant to him, how Jensen downright told us that Dean not reciprocating in the script didn't mean he didn't feel he same way, and how when it came to the finale, Jensen tried and literally went against a whole room of writers to fix it, and was told he couldn't see it right because he was too close to it. Mad respect for these men right now.

Jensen about Dean. - Jensen Gold Panel DC Con 2019 [x]

Please do not contact me about the Supernatural ending I know everything and there’s not a single post I could make that will come near touching the sheer parody of itself that was its finale. Nothing I say will be funnier than what they did to themselves. Maybe now humankind can finally start to heal.

Never mind my friend Sera just told me on the phone that she thinks the Impala ascending physically to heaven is what creates the Catholic canon in the Pixar’s Cars universe

“Good things do happen.”

Dean & Cas (2008-2020) first & last & everything in between.

When are we ever safe? This is different. How? Because of the three trials crap. God’s little obstacle course.

can you imagine having the opportunity to do something so hoped-for, so bold, so meaningful, so defiant of expectation, so perfectly paralleled to the core message of your show itself, and deciding instead to put jared padalecki in a bad wig and call it a day

Cas’ actual internal dialogue

{ insp }

My internal dialogue right now.

SAME!!!!

“Lol we’re gonna be worse than game of thrones” is a weird way to talk up your show’s final season but whatever

Weird flex but okay

I appreciate honesty

they really weren't kidding huh