more lovely out of context pics from my alenoah fic's new chapter

penis ensnare and penis beware,

BECOME ENTOMBED IN MY PENIS LAIR!

Wizard Council Provisional Spell Acceptance Application for: (Spell of Penis Lair)

[APPROVED]

Lansia viva

you better shut the fuck up before I open a nature valley bar on your bed.

the moon is a loyal companion

babygirl i can waste time i don't even have

it’s possible that he is the dumbest person alive

i think he’s trying to get the building demolished at this point

think about lesbian sex on. the. clock.

even when they're playing taylor swift in the lobby. You can't break my spirit you vile woman

I hate to break it to you but all of Taylor Swift’s songs are about lesbian sex

if you went outside and interacted with real life adult humans you would discover so many wonderful things

King's Field [1994] From Software - PlayStation

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Halo cloud over Moscow, October 12th, 2009

okay this reminded me of the strongest human being (I use that label with some reservation) I have ever met and I still think about him like once a week because about 4 years ago on Thanksgiving night my sister, cousin, and I were going to pick up a friend about a 40 minute drive from home, and I got lost and tried to turn around on a little gravel pull-off on the side of the road, but my front tires got stuck in the snow.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

This haunts me.

the power of respecting women

this is the only valid response on this post