release me into the woods

anyone available to go scream in the woods with me? it’s fun, free, and the trees like to gossip about us afterwards

if you’re a fat worm on the sidewalk i love you

Tooth fairies are a smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies.

if u grew up watching winnie the pooh, u have empathy n kindness engraved in u no doubt about it

*MICKEY MOUSE VOICE* YOURE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF A GOD

would having six wings, thousands of eyes all over my body and a halo so bright it burns out the retinas of anyone who looks at it directly help me to make friends? no. would it enhance my job prospects? probably not. would it improve my quality of life significantly? that’s debatable. but it would make me very happy.

Light a candle directly in front of your automatic Glade spray air freshener that way every 9 minutes a fireball shoots across your living room table, intimidating your house guests, asserting your dominance in your domain

there’s two genders. teeth and no teeth

cowboys never die. they just ride off into the sunset

is that what your parents told you when you came back from school one day and your cowboy was missing

2017: dumb bitch

2018: sad bitch

2019: bad bitch

Because there are always pregnant people, the average number of skeletons in a body is higher than one

I never needed to think about this, but now I’m reblogging it and all of you can suffer as well.

be christ-like this christmas. gather a crowd and inspire them to anarchism. beat a politician with a whip. help out your local sex workers. preach equality.

one day im just gonna do it. im gonna vanish into the scottish highlands like god intended

love when pets walk by like they have somewhere to be

know what I hate? how uni’s have all of these “de-stress events” and preaching about mental health around exams but don’t actual want to fucking do anything about the shitty system of education they’ve created that literally makes kids have anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts. yes education should be challenging, but it should not compromise your wellbeing for it. it’s like saying “yeah we realize the system is horrible, but here have free hot chocolate, it’ll make everything better”. the education system is flawed and broken and they know it, but they could care less.