@birds-of-forgiveness / birds-of-forgiveness.tumblr.com
ever ask yourself how many times do sam & dean actually apologize in supernatural? who's more conscious of money and getting food? how sam & dean's feelings about john change over the course of the show? is sam actually more scrutinized for gender expression than dean? who most often disposes of corpses? WELL! I've finally finished my incredibly, long, in depth rewatch notes document! And it has the answers to all those questions and more!
Sam literally has no idea who Dean is starting out in Season 1. I know we all say this all the time... but rewatching 1.03 Dead In The Water last night, it isn't just that Sam thinks that Dean doesn't like kids. It's also how in the same episode, when Dean decides not to take the out the sheriff gave them and turns around to check on Lucas and his mom, Sam is like, "Who are you and what have you done with my brother??"
And that combined with 1.02 "Saving People, Hunting Things, the Family Business" makes me think like. Oh. Sam really doesn't understand why Dean hunts at all. He has no idea that Dean actually cares about the victims and his primary directive is protecting people he doesn't even know because he loves them—because Dean loves everyone and wants to give them what he can't have. Dean is so conflated with John in Sam's mind that they're virtually the same person to him, and apparently in this situation, John would have taken the out and prioritized protecting their family from the law over making sure the hunt was finished.
This is literally Sam's first time ever hunting one-on-one with Dean and not Dean&John. So every time he's ever hunted with Dean, it was John's plan and John's principles and John's prime directive. Sam never understood that just because Dean followed orders, his own motivations were not the same as their fathers. He never understood Dean's actions as anything other than an extension of their father's feelings and will.
just realized dean has a cowboy kink not a cowgirl kink and in fact dean is NEVER faced with a cowgirl in all 15 years of the show but he is faced with cowboys many many times
god i love this show
Destiel is nutritious, organic yaoi that keeps me well fed and healthy. That is why it is so sad for me to see how contemporary yaoi is completely manufactured and pumped with GMOs (gay male organisms). The people consuming this artificial yaoi do not even realize that it is not clean! This is tainted yaoi!! REAL yaoi is aged with years and years of marinating in the Queerbait tanks. REAL yaoi is processed by actors who deny their yaoi exists while making the yaoi in front of you. Modern yaoi is NOT SAFE. It is all MANUFACTURED GARBAGE!!!! YOU ARE CONSUMING INORGANIC YAOI AND YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE!!!! BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR YAOI CONSUMPTION. YOU ARE PARTAKING IN DANGEROUS YAOI INJESTION. YOU ARE BEING FED IMPURE YAOI. WAKE UP!!!!
I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.
Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:
The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.
(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)
Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)
I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.
Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).
He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".
In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.
So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.
This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).
I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).
And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:
notes on whatever is going on with Cas in season five.
Absolutely and utterly obsessed with how their relationship evolved. Show me a better and more beautiful love story I dare you.
dean winchester voice right i have unattainable fantasies and then i have things i pretend to want and then i have real life. if any of these categories overlap I’ll kill everyone in this room and also myself
— happy valentine's day @butch--dean 💕
( in collaboration with @destielvalentineexchange2024 )
cas light study that got a tad out of hand!!
dean winchester aka the all-american bitch
i’ve seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by shane madej wearing a pink button-down shirt in an old buzzfeed test friends video from 2015
First Post!
I deleted my old tumblr because... man idk why it was covid-times and the prefrontal cortex was not in the room with us!! Anyways, I was reminded by my lovely friend @repecca that tumblr exists, and that some of my work has been going around on here, so I decided to post some of my work up officially! Starting off with my most notable (?) work to date, here's my LOTR: The Middle Kingdom Project. Now, it's been over a year since I posted this, and at the time I was... really searchingfor myself artistically, and I decided to go all in on something that I'd been ruminating on for a long time.
So, hello, again. I'm Leia. I do visual development/BG design, and I'm also a writer of things. I love fantasy and transformative work. It's nice to meet you.
SCHEDULE: (All deadlines are 11:59PM UTC on the date specified. Guidelines for extensions are in RULES section.) 20 December - Sign-ups open 31 December - Sign-ups close 07 February - Works Due 13 February - Potential Pinch Hits and Extensions Due 14 February - Gifts Revealed
MINIMUMS: Fic must be 1,000 words minimum. Art must be a completed sketch
RULES:
1) YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER BY DECEMBER 20, 2023 TO PARTICIPATE. Anyone found breaking this rule will be banned from this exchange, all future iterations of it, and any other events that I run.
2) Be respectful of all other participants. If there are any issues, please contact me through the exchange Tumblr account and we will work together to solve it.
3) Respect Do Not Wants (DNWs) and use common sense – if someone requests fluff and doesn’t DNW torture, they probably still don’t want torture unless otherwise requested.
4) All other romantic/sexual ships are OPT-IN. Do not include background ships that have not been opted in. These should only be background relationships and creation must focus on Destiel. If you opt into a background ship, it is not a guarantee that your creator will include it.
5) All Archive Warnings are OPT-IN, no exceptions. Do not include Major Character Death, Rape/Non-con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, or Underage unless your recipient requests it. If you opt into an Archive Warning, it is not a guarantee that your creator will include it.
6) To request an extension, contact me on the exchange's Tumblr account through asks or DMs. Include your Ao3 handle and how long of an extension you need. You don't need to give a reason or explanation, just a heads-up so that I don't give your assignment to someone else.
7) If you for some reason cannot complete your work, hit the "Default" button next to your assignment in your Ao3 "Assignments" page. No reason or explanation is necessary, but please do this sooner rather than later if you are sure that you will not be able to complete your creation.
Send any questions through asks or messages on this account and I'll get back to you as soon as possible <3 Be sure to follow for updates and reminders if you're interested!
they really couldnt let lil homie gay ass say i love you back to his angel and now im here forever...
