ever since i was a little girl i've always wanted a hysterectomy

how to erase pencil guidelines from under ink

1. wait until you’re absolutely sure the ink is dry

2. wrong

How many of these movies have you seen that people said “you haven’t seen [blank] yet??” to me about

Love yik yak sometimes

i love antique stores you go to check out & theyre like “where the hell did you get this”

target audience

you'll never be punk yr clothes are from shein and yr makeup is from tiktok

NEW LEAK JUST DROPPED

Trump would be such a good drag queen like just such an unbelievably incredible and talented drag queen it's such a bummer that he's decided to be a fascist and a threat to democracy because that cunt would devour at the House of Yes

such a loss

his cadence, his tiny bitchy hand gestures, his cunty little nicknames for people that are insane but also somehow stick to your brain? 

“the problem with ron desanctimonious is that he needs a personality transplant, and those are...... noT yet available.”

if he’d laid the garbage fire of his entire soul aside for a wig and heels back in the 80s, we’d live in a better world. 

(via @dragonprincessmew )

google docs babygirl you are so fucking stupid

may I add:

plaaastic

nobody ever praises me or pats me on the head or feeds me small treats despite my consistent excellence in the field of not purposefully ripping cabinet doors off their hinges to fulfill some sort of maladaptive destructive urge

i feel like people need to know about the absolute decadence of that one weird tesco express in bournemouth

what the fuck is actually going on

yeah im at the catholic guilt tesco express do you want anything?

We all got that homie whose air of silliness doesnt hide the haunted look in their eyes😂👆

What was the point in animal planet airing those incredibly convincing fake documentaries about dragons and mermaids

If the aim was to convince incredibly gullible children that they were real it worked on me

I distinctly remember watching these and being like why is no one talking about this this is INSANE and then my mom had to explain that it’s fake

Sorry for believing animal planet. The channel that tells me facts about animals 99.9% of the time