is canada even real?

What the ever living shit Spidey, I just had an all-dressed potato chip for the first time and now I'm concerned. What other shit are you crazy canucks hiding from us?

STRAP IN, ANON.  WE’RE GOING FOR A RIDE THROUGH THE GREAT WHITE NORTH.

Real poutine!  A mix of fresh cut fries, specifically spiced poutine gravy and cheese curds.

Hawkins Cheezies!  You like Cheetos?  Well buckle up because Cheezies are better in every way.  They’re crunchier, more cheesy, made with corn and don’t look/taste artificial.

Smarties!  Think M&M’s but bigger and with a harder shell more solid chocolate inside.  In fact, most Canadian chocolate is different (better) as it is smoother, sweeter and creamier.  Which leads us too…

Coffee Crisp!  Foam coffee filling between wafers and covered in chocolate.  

And Aero bars!  Super sweet, Canadian milk chocolate, aerated with little bubbles so the bar feels like it was made out of a chocolate cloud!  

Fudgee-O’s!  Made by the same company, think Oreos but with a fudge icing inside!

Hickory Sticks, goddamnit!  Slivers of hickory smoked potato chip slivers.

Tourtiere.  Spiced meat pies!  Pork or beef, nothing quite compares.  Crisp on the outside, savory on the inside.  The best meat pies.  Period.

Kraft Peanut Butter.  Apparently Kraft doesn’t make this peanut butter for you Americans.  Probably for the best, since it’d put all other peanut butter brands out of business.  Also, LOOKIT THE CUTE BEARS.

Tim Hortons, sweet baby Jesus.  From donuts to timbits to bagels to coffee, you can’t go wrong with this chain.  I cannot even begin to describe what you’re missing out on if you haven’t had their coffee or donuts.  Rows upon rows of donuts of all assortments, with the smell of brewed coffee in the air.  Holy shit.

Oh and the annual Roll Up the Rim to Win.  Which beats the crap out of whatever monopoly scam McDonalds pulls.

CANADA.  HELL YEAH.