when you wanna show your muscles but you don’t want people calling you a show off so you gotta stop a helicopter to make it seem natural

I love the hobbit I get so excited when I see anything related

When you think about the possible end of Supernatural

Hearing about S12 and then S13:

When you come across someone who doesn’t like the show:

When you’re at someone’s house who doesn’t watch SPN and the season premier is coming on:

Show Me Who You Really Are

Summary: A deal is made between Loki and the reader in order for her to show him her powers.  Will seeing who he truly is destroy their friendship, or will it open a door to something new?  PS I suck at Summaries.

Word Count: 2162, I got a bit carried away

AN: This is my first Loki fanfic so please go easy on me if I got something wrong.  Also my first one posted on Tumblr.  I hope you enjoy and if you have any request let me know.

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Most people hate the winter, they hate what it brings with it when it comes.  The snow, the cold, and the ice that seems to wilt and kill everything that it’s icy fingers touch.  They dread the time when the temperature plummets and brings with it all the things they despise.  Oh but not me, I lived for the moment when mother nature turned her coldest, but then again I wasn’t like most people.

Standing on the rooftop of Stark tower I closed my eyes allowing the cold bite of the winter wind to penetrate my body to the bone. It was a peaceful, serine moment that I knew would not be interrupted by my teammates.  Two of them had a sever distaste for the cold and the rest would be inside enjoying the warmth that the tower brought to them.  It’s not that I disliked any of them, but finding a moment of peace to be alone within the walls of the tower was a difficult task to complete.

I was in my element and it made me feel complete.  It was a feeling that made me feel like coming home, like this is where I belonged.  The way the cold wind felt like the best sunny day and the way the snow was my white sand beach made me want to stay in the freezing weather for the rest of my days. I had been so caught up in the comfort of the winter night that I had not heard anyone invade my tiny slice of paradise, that is until he spoke.

“Y/n, what are you doing out here?”  His lyrical, deep voice caused my eyes to snap open.

“Oh, Loki, I’m sorry I was so caught up in this that I didn’t hear you come out.  I’m just enjoying how nice it is tonight.”  I offered a small smile as I looked up at the Asgardian prince.

While the others were weary of the God of Mischief I did not see him through the same eyes they did.  I had come aboard the Avengers program long after the Battle of New York, but I was told every detail about it.  I would never voice it to my team, but I understood Loki, I knew why he acted the way he did and my heart hurt for the broken god.  That was the reason I never strayed away from befriending him, even if the others were wary of our friendship.

Now that he was here helping the team as a punishment of sorts we had begun to spend more time together.  Loki was a very well read man and I enjoyed having someone who shared my love for literature.  He had even been kind enough to bring me books back from Asgard after I had expressed my desire to read them.  I felt a strong connection with him and saw past what the others could see on the surface. This was one reason why the friendly feelings I had for him started to develop into something more over the time we share together, I would never tell this to him though in fear that it would ruin the friendship we had.

“Are you not cold?”  Loki asked as his eyes roamed over my body.

Taking note to where his eyes landed I looked down at my attire.  A tank top, shorts, and no shoes.  It would have been unusual winter attire for most, but for me it felt as if I had on too many clothes.  It restricted my ability to take in all the cold winter air had to offer me.

Shaking my head, I let out a small chuckle at how strange it must have seemed to him.  “No Loki, I am not cold.  I don’t get cold actually.”

He tilted his head slightly as curiosity ran wild in his blue eyes.  “And why is that?”

“Perks of the mutation I suppose.  Cyrokinesis has certain up sides like the fact that I never get cold, although the jokes that come from Stark are quite annoying to say the least.”  A small frown formed on my lips as I spoke.

I did not dislike Tony, but his constant name calling and jokes got a bit redundant.  I hated when he would call me the ice queen or frosty.  I had come to terms long ago with being a mutant, but it was a harsh reminder that not everyone accepted us in this world.

“Ah yes, Stark does have a way of being artless fool, how anyone thinks he is witty is beyond my understanding.”  The way he pursed his lips in distaste for our fellow Avenger caused a small chuckle to escape me.

“He’s not all bad Loki, he just doesn’t understand when he is being a right ass.  So what are you doing up here?”  My change of subject was deliberate because I did not feel like wasting a beautiful night talking about the great Ironman, he did enough talking about himself for everyone.

Loki looked away slightly before meeting my eyes again, I swore there was a hint of embarrassment in those enchanting pools. “I must admit I became curious when the quick one said you were most likely up here playing with your powers. I have never seen them and I wanted to see what beauty you could create.”

A deep blush fell on my (y/s/c) cheeks at his words. No one had ever seen my powers as something of beauty before, besides myself.  Steve and Bucky feared them, but it did not offend me, I understood why they would have such aversions to the cold and well the others like Tony and Clint liked to make jokes about them.  I also could not fight the smile that fought its way to my lips at the fact that he still refused to learn our teammates names after all of this time.

Looking down I swallowed the shaky breath that was now coming out of me as I built up my courage.  “I can show you, if you would like, but there is something I want you to show me in return.”

“And what is it you wish for me to show you my dear? Name it and I will show you anything you wish to see.”  He stepped forward slightly gazing down at me from his extended height with a look in his eyes that I had never seen before, almost a longing to fulfill my desire.

Mustering up all of the courage I could find in myself I prayed to the Gods that he would not be offended by my request.  “I want you to show me you.”

Cocking his eyebrow his signature smirk played on his lips before he spoke.  “Do you not see me now?”

“Of course I see you Loki, that’s not what I mean,” Letting out a deep sigh I continued.  “I want you to show me your true form as a frost giant.  I wish to see the real you.”

I watched as his sculpted face fell and he cast his eyes to the snow covered ground beneath our feet.  “I cannot do that Y/n, I could harm you…”

Cutting him off I placed my hand on his leather clad arm causing him to look up at me.  “Loki, the powers you hold in your true form cannot harm me.  For crying out loud I am standing in the middle of a snow storm with next to nothing on and I still feel too hot.  If it truly makes you uncomfortable then I will not make you do it.”

“I do not wish for you to see me differently, if I show you who I truly am you will think of me as nothing more than a monster. You will see me as the others do and I cannot lose you.” The brokenness in his voice made my heart literally ache for him.

“I will never think of you or see you any differently than I do in this moment.  The others may have their opinions of you, but to me you are no monster Loki. Nothing could tarnish what I truly see inside you that you hide away from the others.”  I meant every word I said, to me he was a kind, caring God that had been wronged and hurt by those he loved.

A small smile of hope tugged at his lips as he gave a solemn nod.  “As you wish.”

Stepping back, I allowed the grin to stay in place on my face.  My eyes drifted closed as my arms raised out to my sides.   I felt the power coursing through my body reaching my fingertips. My eyes snapped open to watch the tiny crystals dance around me before I concentrated all of my energy into pulling them into a ball.  

Closing my hands around them I felt the bijou shards taking on the shape in which I wanted them.  The icy feel coursed through my entire body focusing all of my powers into manipulating the delicate particles.  Once they took their shape I relaxed my body allowing my powers to go fall back dormant until I chose to use them again.

Smiling at the awe struck look on Loki’s face I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself, of my powers.  Grabbing his hand, I faced it palm up placing the small figurine of myself and him into it.  

“It’s not much I know, but I didn’t feel like destroying part of the tower tonight.”  I chuckled slightly because when I first moved in I had indeed accidentally destroyed a room in the tower.

Loki shook his head smiling.  “This is exquisitely beautiful Y/n.  I am afraid my part of this arrangement will not be quite as lovely as yours.”

Gingerly he placed my tiny trinkets down on the ledge, handling them with such gentle care that it was hard for me to imagine him almost destroying the city.  Stepping a few paces back from me he bowed his head, eyes falling closed, his shoulders slumping forward only slightly.  My eyes never left his body as he showed me what he really looked like.

I watched as his once pale skin took on the most beautiful shade of blue I had ever seen in my entire life.  My eyes traced the markings that appeared on his skin to where they disappeared down his neck and under the collar of his shirt.  Taking a few steps I closed the distance between him and I, placing my hand lightly on his bicep.

Upon the contact his head rose and his eyes snapped open revealing a magnificent red that now replaced his once sparkling blue orbs. A look of despair crossed his handsome face and I realized that I had allowed a few tears to slide from my eyes. His hand came up to wipe them away and I could not help but to snuggle my cheek farther into his icy embrace.

“I am sorry, I did not wish for you to see me like this and now I see that I should not have.”  Loki’s voice was filled with heartache as he turned to leave pulling his hand from my face.

Reaching out I gripped onto his hand pulling him back to face me, enjoying the cold as our skin made contact.  “No Loki, I was not crying because I was afraid.  I…You are so beautiful; I have never seen something so breath taking in all of my days.”

Tentatively he placed his hand back to my cheek, a small smile playing on his lips.  “Could you ever love a monster such as myself?”

Smiling up at him I dropped his hand from my, placing them now around the back of his neck.  As I tilted my head I pulled him down reveling in the icy spark that coursed through me as his lips meet mine.  After a moment of shock Loki started to kiss me back with a kiss that was so full of love and adoration, that it took my breath away.  No other kiss I had ever shared had made me feel like I did in that moment.

My hands moved from the back of his neck into the dark, soft locks that I had only dreamed of running my fingers through as his free arm moved around my waist pulling me tightly to him.  The artic feeling that flowed from his body to mine made me feel like I had finally found my home.  When breathing became a necessity once more we finally pulled away from one another.

Taking a few moments to finally catch my breath I looked back up into his once again blue eyes.  “I already told you Loki, you will never be a monster to me.  I already love you.”

A true smile formed on his face as I saw his eyes fill with pure joy before he pulled me in for another quick kiss.  “And I love you Y/n.  I will love you for all of my days.”

My other blog :)

Loss and Love

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Fandom: Supernatural

Warnings: Angst, being bitchy to Sammy (Sorry I didn’t want to but it had to be done, I still love my giant moose), alcohol abuse, swearing, fluff.

Word count: 4,242

Notes: Sadly I do not own any of the Supernatural characters.  I hope you enjoy it, the ending is not exactly what I wanted but hey it’s 7 am and I haven’t slept yet. Feel free to share, my blog is fairly new and I don’t have many followers :)

My eyelids flew open as I tried desperately to escape from the horrid image that had been on constant replay in my mind.  Glancing at the alarm clock on my bedside table the bright green numbers taunted me as they read 6:48 a.m.  It had been three weeks, four days, nine hours, and twenty-seven minutes since my life had been completely and devastatingly turned upside down.  The image of her dead, blood-soaked body was all I could see when I closed my eyes now, hell it was all I could see even when my eyes were open.

Before my mind had enough time to wander any farther into the nightmare I was living I crawled out of my bed, tossing the covers aside haphazardly.  Pulling on my jeans from the night before I exiting my room heading down the hallway to the library of the bunker.  Snatching a bottle of whiskey from where it sat on the shelf I poured a glass before settling down into the chair, keeping the bottle within reaching distance for my inevitable next glass.  

This had become my routine since that night.   Drink all day, kill something evil when the chance arose, pass out for a few shitty hours of horror filled sleep, wake up and go through it all again.  I hadn’t veered from this pattern since that night, the only time I ate was when Dean practically shoved it down my throat.  My life had become a skipping record that repeated the same events over and over again in a steady, unwavering loop.  Downing my first glass of the day I poured myself a second, knowing full and well it was simply a lackluster effort to stop the downward spiral my mind would take in the brief moments of sobriety I had these days.

The thudding of boots on the hard floors pulled me from where my thoughts had drifted to her once again. They came closer until both sets stopped abruptly.  Before even casting my eyes to the entrance way I knew what I would find, but I did so anyway only to confirm my suspicions.  Both Winchesters stood with their gazes fixed on me, but they exuded completely different emotions as I studied them.  

Deans’ face was full of understanding and concern; he had been in my shoes far too many times to count so he knew exactly what I was trying to accomplish. The night that she died he had been the one who fought and physically restrained me when I tried to find Crowley in order to make a deal to bring her back, Dean was my rock.  Sam, on the other hand, looked at me with guilt, pity, and disappointment.  Moving my eyes back to the handsome older brother I directed my words to him, I had refused to speak to Sam since it happened unless it was absolutely necessary.  

“Do we have a case?”  My voice was hardly the same carefree tone it once was, but then again I wasn’t the same as I was before.

Before Dean had a chance to reply Sam spoke up his voice was hard, but at the same time cautious. “It’s 8 in the morning Y/N, don’t you believe it’s a little early to be drinking.”

This again was nothing new, Sam tried every day to slow my drinking but I wasn’t having it.  Dean didn’t try to persuade me to stop, as I said he himself had been down this road before and he was still trying to drowned out his demons, just not to the extent I was. He would simply take care of me, and when I decided I had, had enough he would make sure I was in bed always leaving a bottle of water in case I decided to drink something that wasn’t slowly killing me.

Scoffing I took another sip of the Amber liquid, no longer feeling the burn it had once caused when I would drink, my body was far too accustomed to it now.  “As an adult well over the legal age, I think I can decide when it’s too early for me to have a drink.”

“You need to stop this. This isn’t who you are, this isn’t how she would want you to live.”  His words were doing nothing except causing the anger I felt towards him to rise to new levels.

A humorless chuckle slipped past my lips as I looked at him.  “You know Sam, there was a time when I would have listened to anything you had to say, fully believing in it and putting my trust in you.  But I think we can both agree that those days of me trusting you are long gone.”

It was the truth; Sam Winchester had been one of my best friends for many years now. There had been a time when no one or nothing could have swayed my trust in the gigantic man. I had considered him family and would have followed him to the ends of the Earth, but those days were long gone now. When she died it ripped apart every string of the bond we once had.

I watched as Dean stood silently gauging the anger that was seeping out of both of us.  It was almost as if he was preparing himself for the inevitable fight that had been brewing since that night.

Sam pulled his best bitch face yet, his words coming out harder and louder than they had been previously as he discarded the cautious approach.  “Damn it Y/N, I’m trying to save you!  We are all grieving Charlie’s death, but you are going to die too.  And it will be at your own hands because of this reckless behavior that you’ve taken on.  You haven’t been sober in weeks and you’re going out on hunts like that not giving a shit if you come back.  It has to stop; Charlie would not want you to be like this.”

The sound of her name leaving his lips caused my anger to spiral into a blinding rage.  My grip tightened so hard on the glass I held in my hand that it shattered into pieces causing the contents to seep into the now open wounds triggering a mixture of blood and liquor to run down my arm.  I stood with such force that the chair slammed into the bookcase that sat behind it, unclenching my hand the broken glass fell to the floor as I swept my arms across the lavish table in front of me causing the objects on it to fly from their resting place to land scattered on the floor below.

“NO!”  I didn’t recognize my own voice as the feral scream left my throat.  “You do not get to say her name; you do not get to speak about the things she wanted. You especially do not get to tell me how to grieve the loss of my sister.  It’s your fault she is dead Sam Winchester.  I’ve been hunting for over half of my life and I was able to hide it from her and shield her from this world.  I kept her from the dangers that it holds, but you drug her into this. You destroyed everything I worked so hard for, you took away my baby sister’s safety and I was okay with it because I trusted you to look after her.  But you let her die.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.  “There is nothing you can say to make this go away, Sam.  You made the choice to lie to Dean and me, to hide the fact that you were too damn stubborn to destroy The Book of the Damned and you dragged her into your lie.  Because of you the only family that I had left is gone, so excuse me if drinking and killing are the only ways I can deal with the pain that you have caused me.  You ripped my world into an unrepairable state and took away one of the only people I have ever loved.  So leave me alone and stop trying to fix me.”

I kept my facial expression hard as I watched the heartache take over his own.  I could tell he had so much he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut as his hazel eyes clouded with tears.  Somewhere deep down beneath the pain and grief, I was feeling I wanted to comfort him, but more than that I didn’t want to look at him right now because all I could see was Charlie’s dead body.  Sam quickly turned leaving before the tears could fall from his eyes.  Once he was gone I let the dam break, all of the pain I had been holding onto was now flooding out of my eyes.

Two strong arms wrapped around me as Dean pulled me into his hard chest as my legs started to shake.  “It’s okay sweetheart, I’ve got you let it out.”

The sobs continued to rack through my body as the memories of our life filled my mind.  Never again would I see her smile, the one that could light up a room.  I wouldn’t ever have the chance to get angry with her because she had hacked my email and phone to read my messages.  Most importantly I would never get the chance again to tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of the woman she became.  Dean continued to whisper soothing words to me as I clung to him, his t-shirt gripped tightly in my fists in fear that he would leave me too.  When I finally calmed myself I took a tentative step back, Dean still gently rubbing my arms.

When the haziness cleared from my eyes the first thing I saw was my blood now staining his gray shirt, an overwhelming feeling of guilt washed over me from my actions as the apology flew from my mouth in a hushed whisper. “Oh god Dean, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart, you did nothing wrong.  Come on let me take care of your hand and get you cleaned up.”  Steering me towards the hallway he gently kept an arm around me as he led me to his bedroom.

The numb feeling that had overtaken my body continued as he sat me on the edge of his bed.  My mind and body were giving up the fight and all I could do was stare at the closed door as he went to retrieve the medkit from his bathroom.  My whole life I had fought to protect Charlie, she had been the only thing that mattered to me and now that she was gone my will to fight so was slowly leaving me.  I knew Sam had been right, she wouldn’t have wanted me to be like this, but right now the pain was too much for me to bare.  When our parents died I had felt bad, but it wasn’t this consuming because I knew I had to stay strong for her and now I had no one to stay strong for.

Dean emerged a few moments later kneeling in front of me giving me a small smile.  He carefully pulled my injured hand away from where I had clutched onto my own shirt before he opened the kit.  Even as he poured the alcohol over the lacerations my catatonic state would not allow me to so much as wince as the stinging sensation spread through my hand.  

The nagging feeling in my mind is what caused me to open my mouth as he started to pull out the few pieces of glass that managed to get lodged in the wound.  “Do you think I’m wrong?”

Stopping his work on my hand he looked up at me with those orbs that resembled the forest moss on a damp spring morning.  “Wrong about what?  Grieving Charlie by drinking yourself to death, or for blowing up on Sam because you’re angry and blame him?”

“Both, I guess I mean not really so much the first.  I…I feel wrong for being angry with Sammy.  It’s like there is somewhere inside of me that knows it’s not really his fault, that I shouldn’t have said those things to him.  But there’s a bigger part of me that believes that if he hadn’t lied to us that she would still be here and I wouldn’t be all alone.” I let my chin drop down, my last words resonating in my own mind, I was alone.

Dean went back to work fixing the mess I had made of my hand; I knew by his silence that he was trying to find the right words to say that wouldn’t cause me to lash out at him as well. I didn’t want to be angry with either of the boys.  I loved them both just in different ways.  Sam was my best friend through thick and thin we had stuck everything out together, but Dean, oh Dean he was my everything.  The feelings between us were clear, but neither of us had ever made the move to take the relationship farther than what it was.  The fear of losing one another and the fear of rejection had put us at a weird standstill of loving one another from a distance.  

When he had finally began to wrap my hand he answered my original question.  “I wouldn’t say you’re wrong you’re feelings are justified, but I think that you are placing the blame on Sam because you want someone to be angry with.  You and I killed the Stynes and now you have no one else to blame for the pain you are feeling so you are directing it to him.  I know what you’re feeling and I understand it, but you know somewhere in your heart that Sammy would have never done anything to intentionally get Charlie killed. He thought what he was doing was the right thing, it wasn’t and now he’s feeling like shit about it.  It’s eating away at him and you treating him this way is only making it worse.  I think it would be good if you talked to him.”

Mulling over his words I nodded, standing along with him I placed a long kiss on his cheek.  “Thank you, D.”

Before I could get very far Dean grabbed my wrist pulling me back to him, his other hand found my cheek as his plump, pink lips landed on mine.  My eyes widened before they drifted closed letting me get lost in the taste that was so intoxicatingly unique to Dean Winchester as my lips moved against his.  It was a slow, deep kiss that was filled with every emotion we had shared over the past years that we had not expressed to one another.  Pulling apart I opened my mouth to question his action only to have him place his finger over my lips.

“We can talk about this when you get done with Sammy.”  He let go of my wrist nodding towards the bedroom door.

Nodding I made my way out the door as a haze of questions filled my mind.  My lips were still tingling from the blaze that his lips left in their wake as I found myself standing in front of Sam’s door.  Raising my fist to knock I promptly lowered it back to my side having no clue what I would say to the tall man who had played such a big role in my life.  After a few silent moments debating with myself I brought my fist back up rapping it against the wooden door in front of me.

Sam opened the door slowly his gaze shifting to confusion as it fell upon me.  “Can we talk?”

Nodding he stepped aside far enough for me to enter the room before closing the door behind me.  “So you come to unleash more of your wrath on me?”

“No Sammy, I’m sorry.” Shaking my head, I fought back the tears that were wanting desperately to form in my eyes causing them to burn. “I came to apologize to you, I shouldn’t have said those things to you.  I am just hurting so bad and I placed the blame on you because I felt guilty for not having been there to protect her.  I know it’s not your fault I just feel like if you had told us what was going on I could have been there to stop them, I could have saved her.”

Taking a tentative step forward Sam tried to reach out for my shoulder, but I took a step back not ready for that contact yet.  “Y/n, I never meant for this to happen, I loved Charlie like a sister and I would have never asked her to help me if I thought that this would happen.  I was just trying to do the right thing to help Dean, I just want to save my brother.”

“I want that too Sam, but in the process, my only family got murdered by a psychotic asshole.  I know you were trying to do what you believed to be right, but it makes you wonder how long until all the bad we do starts to outweigh the good because we have both done a lot of bad in our lives in the process of doing what we believed to be right.  I want to forgive you Sammy and I am slowly.  I want my best friend back, but you have to understand that it won’t be like it was before; everything has changed now and I’m not the same person I was.” Stopping halfway through my speech I sighed before continuing.

“Just please promise me that you will give me the time I need to forgive you, that when I’m ready you will be there with your giant self to tell me that I’m the sister you never wanted, but love having because right now that’s what I need you to do for me.  I don’t need you to try to save me, I just need you to be there for me while I repair the broken pieces of my life.”  My hopeful y/e/c eyes searched the teary hazel ones of my longtime friend, praying to every being out there that he would understand.

He nodded pulling me into a hug.  “I will always be here, even during the times that you do not want me to be because even though you believe you lost your family, we are your family.  You will always have Dean and me.”

As Sam pulled back a slight pink tint dusted my cheeks at the mention of the eldest Winchester and the thought of the searing kiss he had left me with moments ago.  “Speaking of Dean I really need to get back to talk to him about something.  I’ll see you in the morning, Sammy.”

Seeing the state my face was in he shot his eyebrow up in a quizzical manner asking me to elaborate, but before he could utter a single syllable I made my way from the room unsure of how to answer any questions he may have asked.  At a glacier pace, I journeyed back towards the bedroom belonging to the handsome green-eyed man I had been head over heels for, for such a long time now.  I was hesitant of how the conversation would go and my slow moving feet wanted to keep me from the possible rejection that I felt was inevitable.  Sure there were feelings there so clear that Ray Charles would have been able to see them, but what if he was rethinking the kiss now that he had time to think about it.    

So many thoughts were running through my mind and I was slightly glad for the distraction from the thoughts of my sister, but I didn’t want to think about the conversation that was about to take place.  Realizing that I had been frozen in front of his door for longer than I should have I knocked on the wood instantly wishing I could make my feet make a run for it. But those bastards were betraying me by not listening to my screaming mind and keeping me in that spot until I heard his deep voice call out.

“Come on in.”  His calm voice didn’t give away any hints of the emotions he may have been feeling so I took my chance opening the door.

Slipping in I gently closed the door behind myself not wishing for Sam to come by while we discussed the matter at hand.  The first thing I noticed was that Dean was casually laid on his bed reading a copy of The Illustrated Man that I had loaned him a few weeks ago.  He was in a fresh shirt that was no longer stained with my blood.  Noticing that I had not moved from my position by the door he closed the book sitting up as his eyes fell on me.

“Thinking about bolting there sweetheart?”  Letting out a breathy chuckle his eyebrow raised as he questioned me.

Giving a small shrug I took a tentative step forward before answering.  “Possibly, it really depends on how this conversation goes I suppose.”

Hopping off of the bed he took a few long strides before he was standing right in front of me, placing two fingers under my chin he brought my face up to look him in the eyes.  “I’m hoping you don’t because all I’ve been thinking about since you left was doing this again.”

With that, those soft, perfect lips were back on mine once more. The intense sensation was just the same as it had been earlier and it made me feel like my entire body was on fire. Being a hunter I had been around the block a few times and had more than my fair share of kisses, but not of them had ever felt like this; I had never felt as though all of my senses were suddenly sent into overdrive.  My hands moved up to his neck as if I was trying to anchor myself to him as he moved one of his hands to my waist while the one that had a grasp on my chin tangled into my hair.  Pulling away reluctantly I rested my forehead against his, my eyes remained closed as I enjoyed the euphoric buzz that the taste and smell of him had caused.

The nagging question in the back of my mind pushed itself forward forcing me to let it out in a whisper. “What are we doing D?”

Being hunters we didn’t really do relationships.  A quick pick-up from a local bar to help ease the stress after a hunt, but getting into something serious was dangerous and extremely risky.  We had so much to lose and in our line of work living long, happy, healthy lives weren’t really heard of, especially when you had as many enemies as the Winchesters and myself.  I was in far too deep with Dean emotionally for this to be a hit it and quit it situation.

Dean caressing my cheek caused me to open my eyes and stare into those beautiful mossy eyes that bared so much of his tattered soul.  “We’re doing what we should have done a long time ago.  Losing Charlie and seeing the state you have been in has only made me realize that these feelings I have for you will not go away because watching you in so much pain has caused me to feel everything you are going through.  I thought if we ignored these feelings that they would fade and you could have a chance for someone worthy of you.  I don’t want to wake up one day and regret missing the chances to tell you and show you how much I care about you.  I want the chance to prove to you that there is not a single second of the day that you are not in my thoughts and that I would do anything in this world for you if you were to ask me to.”

“There is no one on this supernatural riddled planet that is more worthy of me than you Dean Winchester.” I placed a soft kiss on his lips before I continued.  “I don’t want this to just be a fling though D if you want something real I am willing to go through hell to try and make it work.”

“Oh sweetheart, you could never be just a fling to me.”  His hands gripped my face pulling me back in for another kiss putting everything he had into it to show me how much he wanted this, how much he wanted us.

For the first time in weeks, I felt like I could breathe.  When my eyes closed I wasn’t seeing the demise of my baby sister, I was only seeing the possible future I had with Dean.  Of course, I would never get over my loss, but I would never be truly alone as long as I had the Winchesters.  I may have lost my family, but a wise, cranky old man once told us “family don’t end in blood”.  A piece of my life had been shattered into pieces, but now I had something, or someone, that was going to help put those broken shards back into place.

One of my one shots that I write on my other blog. Check it out and maybe send me some requests because I am having serious writers block.

Damn. Just …..damn

Good god damn man.....my ovaries have exploded and Im trying to figure out how to see through clothes.

Mental Illness is not simple

I know this is long but please take a little time out if your day to read it. I wish people could grasp this concept and understand that the things we that have with a mental disorder go through are out of our control. We do not choose to go through the things we do or think the things that race through our minds. We are at war every single day with something that is beyond our control and it is exhausting. The things that we do are not always our fault and just because our illness may have no symptoms or signs it does not mean that it is less serious than those that do. When were sad or “lazy” or mad or frustrated or crying uncontrollably for no reason and none of it makes sense to you just remember that it’s nothing to do with you it’s all about what we are going through in our minds. When we are quiet and don’t want to talk please don’t force us, sometimes it just gets so loud and busy in our heads that we can’t think straight or know how to say or explain what is going on inside of us.  When there are times that you want to go out to do something and we refuse, please do not get angry with us; sometimes we can barely even face ourselves in the mirror let alone the outside world.  Some of us have fears of being around other people and cannot handle big crowds.  Please be patient with us and try to understand if we could change this we would, but we can’t. We will be fine for awhile and everything will be normal, then suddenly out of nowhere the storm comes crashing through our lives leaving us in a darkness that is hard to fight against. What we need is for you to reassure us that while we are battling this dark cloud that you will be by our sides and when we are finally able to reach the light at the end of this pitch black tunnel that you will stroll through it with us hand in hand. It will be hard for you if you have never done it before or if you don’t know what it’s like, but assure us that we have to keep fighting because sometimes we can’t make it on our own and far too many that battle a mental illness lose the fight because it is easier to give into it and we do not have the energy to carry on. So please if you know someone who is suffering just be there for them, be patient and help them through their battle. And if you are someone that is dealing with this and you feel that you have no one please reach out to me. Even if we aren’t friends or never talk or you are scared to let others help you I will be there for you. I will hold your hand and walk the path with you because I understand how you feel. I have been there for 15 years myself dealing with the daily battle and I will care for you and fight for you with everything I have in me. I will hold you up when you feel like you cannot do it yourself. If you feel like it would be easier to give up or to take your life please I beg you to contact me, call me, message me, text me, I will be there for you no matter the time.  I will talk you through it or listen to you or sit quietly as long as you need me to. And if I need to I will come to you because I do not want to lose you. The world does not want to lose you because going through these battles everyday makes you so much stronger than you believe you are, there is nothing weak about being a warrior and that is what you are . If you feel like no one cares just remember that I do, I will always be your biggest cheerleader and advocate.

I posted this on my other blog, but wanted to share with my followers of this one as well.

So tired that the first time I reblogged this I did it on the blog I wrote it on, someone tell my 4 year old to go to sleep so I can.  Mental health is something I am very passionate about and the stigma that comes along with it is a very serious issue. 

well it took me about 2 seconds to reblog this

Yes! Yes! Yes!

James Corden crushing on Jeffrey Dean Morgan. (x)

OH YES!!!  I agree 1000%

Ryan Reynolds interviews Hugh Jackman.

This is why I fucking love Ryan Reynolds.

[insp.]

trying to get a grip on my life like

This is the best description for me trying to get my shit together.

When shows come off their hiatus

Fandoms

Writers/actors

this is the best thing i’ve seen all day

Season Finales

Writers:

Fandoms:

OMFG it’s back on my dash

THIS IS THE BEST THING OMG, THE DAISIES