you don’t go to parties || calum hood
word count: 2.3k+
warnings: ALCOHOL!!!! pls continue with caution if triggering. + swearing, and a fuck ton of angst. like a stupid amount. calum x she/her reader, lowercase intended!
a/n: guess what my fav song off 5sos5 is lol. i am so in love with this album so i quickly wrote this up xoxo
i still think about the times we were heavy
racehorse trippin' on the dirt that you got on me
vultures spinnin' up above of what's left of me
we go stupid every night, what a tragedy
“you are not about to take another shot,” calum’s slurred voice laughs at the girl beside him, as she attempts to make a clean pour into the small glass in front of her. needless to say, she didn’t do such a good job. that’s what happens when you’re one too many drinks in.
“you smoked four joints outside. i’m allowed to take as many shots as i want!” she responds, tilting her head back as the liquid runs down her throat, resulting in a sour face from y/n as she reaches for the closest bottle of coke.
a red, puffy eyed calum stumbles closer towards y/n and embraces her in a hug, kissing her temple. “we do this too much, don’t we?” he asks, as he sways their bodies back and forth.
“yeah, way too much..” she trails off, as the two get lost in the moment of each other, standing in the middle of the overcrowded kitchen.
the music is loud, the room is hot, there’s too many people, and there’s too many coloured lights flashing everywhere.
but calum and y/n didn’t care. staring into each others eyes with the widest grins plastered across their faces, they both knew that they wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
when you’re young, the number one rule you’re always told is have fun, you’re never gonna get these years back.
the pair made sure to do everything possible to make sure they wouldn’t regret it.
but being young doesn’t last forever.
in the blink of an eye, life changes and the real world is in front of you.
no more college parties getting absolutely shitfaced every weekend. no more spontaneous adventures in the middle of the night because you have nothing else to do. no more doing things that you shouldn’t be doing. no more distractions.
calum and y/n couldn’t have seen it coming at all.
but when you’re having as much fun as them two, who would’ve?
calum realized that school wasn’t for him, and started pursuing a music career with him and his friends that he met in college, who felt the same way as he did.
y/n on the other hand, was determined to earn her degree and make her family proud.
despite their differences, they had no doubts about keeping each other around. they loved one another, and that’s what truly matters, right?
so calum didn’t think too much of it when he started going to parties alone, when y/n declined because of her loads of homework piling up on top of another.
he always made sure to come back to her at the end of the night, holding her tight while she slept, burnt out from the thousands of words she read just hours before he came back to her dorm — he had practically moved in, although he wasn’t even in school anymore.
still so in love, they managed to get a place together after y/n graduated. and while y/n was out and about hunting for jobs, calum was in the studio with his band.
and whenever calum was in the studio with his band, it led to a party at the end of it. and he always made sure that his y/n was on his hip, as they drank and danced the night away together.
“they’re so cute,” luke chuckled as michael was pouring himself another drink, as they watched the two hold each other as they drunkenly sang the words to some old chris brown r&b love song — of course calum knew every word.
michael turns his head to the couple standing in the middle of the living room, and even though there’s a countless amount of people beside them, it feels like they’re the only two people in the room. “they’re forever. no doubt about it.” michael responds to the blonde boy sitting next to him, a little smile curved on his face.
i’m still here in the darkness
you made me a heartless monster
i’m caught up in distractions
i’m starting to come undone
it was so good, until it wasn’t.
when y/n started working full time, calum and his band still had nothing else to do. i mean, an album release and a world tour just before, you need some sort of a break.
y/n started working 9-5’s and calum was still showing up to functions without his plus one. one party turned into fifty parties, and next thing you know, it’s a surprise it calum makes it home before y/n goes to bed. y/n was so busy, she couldn’t even tell that calum had been going out so frequently until her first day off rolled around the corner.
and there she was, sitting in the middle of their shared apartment, watching tv and waiting for her boyfriend to come home.
she knew that she should go to bed; she had work the next day. but she’s never spent a day without at least knowing where he was. at least that’s what she thought.
calum rolls in around 3:00 am, stumbling into their home and kicking off his shoes. y/n rushes towards him to make sure he doesn’t fall, her arms wrapping around his body as he clutches onto her shoulders. “baby, you’re awake. it’s so late!” he slurs, kissing her on the cheek.
“i was waiting for you,” she whispers in response, assisting him in going upstairs. “does this happen every night?”
“only the nights you don’t come with me.”
calum’s never felt more pain in his life. yeah, he’s felt like shit when he’s throwing up outside some random person’s backyard, or when he loses his balance and falls face first into the pavement, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the moment that y/n walked out on him.
coincidentally, calum had no intentions of staying out past his studio session today. walking into their abode before midnight was now a rare occurrence, and it felt refreshing to calum as he drives home, the sky painted a pink and orange shade as the sun started to go down.
walking into his apartment and being greeted by duke — which hadn’t happened in quite a minute — the house was quiet.
i mean, when calum goes home, it’s always quiet. y/n’s always sleeping. but this silence felt eerie. from what calum was aware of, y/n had always liked to keep some music on throughout the house while she did her activities — work, cooking, showering, anything.
“y’know where mama is, duke?” calum asks the little dog in front of him, getting up from his knees and making his way up the stairs, duke following behind him as he opens the door to their bedroom.
there y/n is, sitting at her desk, with her laptop and various notebooks spread out. but her laptop isn’t turned on, and it doesn’t look like she’s doing anything. she’s just sitting there.
walking towards his girlfriend, he takes notice of a suitcase placed beside her desk, he dismisses it, and greets her with a kiss on the cheek. “hey baby, how’s your day been?”
she turns her chair to face him, getting a clear look of him before she starts to speak. “you’re here early.”
“yeah, nothing to do after the sesh today.”
“hey calum, let me ask you something.”
calum should’ve known something was off the moment she called him by his first name.
“yeah, what’s up?” he responds, throwing himself onto the bed and getting into a comfy position.
“when was the last time you actually bothered to have a conversation with me?”
“what?” he confusedly asked in response. “where is this coming from? i literally had one with you yesterday morning.”
“you said good morning to me, and proceeded to tell me that you were going to be home late. that’s not a conversation. in fact, that’s all you’ve been saying to me for the past four months.”
it's safe to say that y/n wasn't in the picture anymore.
after countless of apologies and promises from calum's side, she knew what was best for her – she knew that he was too late. so a few days after what y/n felt like the hardest, but at the same time, easiest breakup that she'd ever have to do, she gathered all her things. from the bedroom, to the bedroom, to the fucking kitchen, and left.
the fact that breaking up with him felt easy broke her heart in two.
she loved him. she loved him so fucking much. and he let her down. he disappointed her to a depth she would've never thought he would reach.
so she said her goodbyes to the fluffy little dog following her, kissing his soft head and whispering, "take care of him, okay?" with duke barking in response as she made her way towards the front door.
when calum came home to dead silence, he knew what had happened. doesn't mean he liked it, though.
rushing up the stairs to see an empty half of a bedroom and a cleaner, less product filled bathroom, he knew what she had done.
and there's nobody else to blame but himself.
and now it’s 5 am clinging to my couch
and everyone i ever knew is standing in my house
oh, i’m wondering who i’m looking for
cause you don’t go to parties anymore
i got the last five years running out my mouth
always stay too late, i should kick me out
oh, i'm wondering who i'm looking for
cause you don't go to parties anymore
describing calum as a fucking wreck was an understatement. all that man did was party, after all. but this was getting out of hand.
luke, ashton, michael, and even their fucking partners tried talking to calum to try and get him out of this excessive phase. "there's better ways to handle this," michael would tell calum when he catches him in a sober state.
"she's gone because this was all i did," calum would respond. "i have no reason to stop now."
and everyday, you would catch calum at some random los angeles party. it could be a distant mutuals, a random person's, or even his own.
sometimes it would be his own house a little too much – he couldn't handle the loneliness.
which explains calum's extreme lack of sobriety in his backyard, going on a tangent about the mistakes he's made.
the poor, unlucky guy taking a seat next to calum on the couch was not prepared for calum's behaviour.
"sorry dude. don't think so."
"we were together for five fucking years. five years and i fucked it all up. it's all my fault, and i'm never gonna get her back. i miss her so much, i'm never gonna be the same without her," calum pours his heart out to the complete stranger sat beside him, taking another swig from the bottle of tequila he was holding.
the backyard is filled with so many people, and it's almost a challenge to walk around, yet his eyes are still looking for the girl that got away, while he continues to talk about her.
luke walks over to the couch that calum and the unfamiliar person are seated on. "hey, is he bothering you?" luke asks, earning a chuckle from the guy. "nah, at least not yet. he's just been.. talking about his ex."
luke sighs, rubbing his forehead. "yeah man, i'm sorry you had to hear all that. he's been like this for way too long now, doing the same shit every night. i've had to drag him out of people's houses in the middle of the night a couple times 'cause he had no other way home."
"damn.. she really did a number on him, huh?" stranger responds, luke nodding. "i understand why she left, and i think he does too," he points to calum. "he's just having a hard time accepting it."
calum turns towards both boys sitting beside him with an upset expression plastered all over his face. "of course i'm having a hard time accepting it! it's all my fault! i drove away the only girl i'd ever been in love with and i'll never be able to get her back!" the drunk, heartbroken boy explains, finishing the last of his bottle before kicking it onto the ground, away from him.
as the early morning creeped up and his house got more and more empty, the three boys decided to stay back and help him clean up, knowing that the host himself won't be able to.
"feels like we've been cleaning forever." luke mindlessly says, checking the time. "holy shit. 5 am."
"we need to do something about this, he can't keep doing this to himself." ashton frustratedly stats, picking up what felt like the 500th solo cup on the ground.
"what's it gonna take for him to listen? we've tried so hard." michael says, gathering all the empty bottles of alcohol and throwing them into his recycling bin.
"we all know who he's gonna listen to. but i doubt that she'll ever want to speak to him again."
as the trio take a look at the man currently sprawled against the now empty couch, he begisn to stir, and slowly opens his eyes.
"this," ashton points to the situation in his backyard, "needs to fucking stop. i don't know how many times we have to tell you this."
"i know man, i know. i'm sorry. thank you for helping me clean." calum sheepishly says, now feeling embarrassed at his three best friends stand in front of him in disappointment.
"did, did she show?" calum speaks up again, the tiniest glimmer of hope laced in his voice.
"no. you should know this. she doesn't go to parties anymore."
