LETS FUCKING GO THE GIRL OBSESSED WITH MY BOYFRIEND FINALLY UNTAGGED HIM FROM HER POSTS

But she’s being really weird and is befriend a bunch of people I know that she didn’t know before and had started to lurk around faculty which she has nothing to do with and is still reposting nasty shit about me and my boyfriend and I’m so done with obsessive women trying to get at me.

THEY BOMBED NASSER HOSPITAL

They're not even trying to hide behind the "There’s tunnels under the hospitals" excuse anymore.

The Israeli Zionist Occupation has bombed all hospitals in Gaza Strip thus changing the conduct of modern warfare forever.

Truly insane to watch one of my beloved childhood friends transform from someone with one of the most caring and kind heart people I know become someone who encourages Israel’s collective punishment to Gazan’s and continuously promotes racist, anti Arabic posts on Instagram and defends the mass murder of children

She also reposted a post talking about how Palestinians needed to get over losing their land and lose the victim mentality and I’m… what

IOF soldiers dressed like civilians raided the Ibn-Sina hospital in Jenin and killed 3 injured Palestinians

Had THEEEEE most horrifying sentence spoken to me by my boyfriend (who said it playfully but still) of how despite being Chinese-Afghan I’m the most white washed person on the planet which is true because I’m adopted by white people who constantly push whiteness onto me (like actively discouraged me from learning Chinese etc when I was younger because to them they didn’t see why it mattered) but honestly it was such a heartbreaking thing to hear because I feel that my entire life my efforts to connect with my heritage have been discouraged by my family and outside forces because I don’t look Chinese and I don’t look that Afghan either because they balance each other out making me look enough of either to be too confusing to figure out (often get mistaken for indigenous) and idk I just feel like I failed my younger self who really wanted to try and learn more about both sides of my heritages and make connections with the Chinese and Afghan community and now I feel incredibly disconnected from both and that I’m a fake or smth or will always be “white-washed” if I do

And it’s also like I KNOW I present as middle eastern/central Asian more than East Asian which already (wrongfully) gets tossed into debates as still being white etc. so I get subconsciously pushback from people if I try to embrace Chinese culture which I have a closer connection to given my birth mother left me and my sister a bunch of things to connect us with it and it’s much easier for my sister to do so given she is fully East Asian and I’m proud to be a mixed Asian woman but oftentimes I feel that I don’t navigate the world as an Asian woman except for when I’m dealing with weird fetishy people, people who think I’m a cool mix and ooh and ahh about it, or racists 😭😭😭. Because I’m not white enough for them to not notice me but I also know if I wore a qipao or traditional Afghani clothing I would get so much shit for that too and I feel very tentative to enter or claim those spaces that I have unintentionally been cut off from my entire life this so why I don’t try to go for scholarships for POC etc. because in many ways I feel like I don’t have enough claim to the label? Like I’m too far disconnected from my culture and ethnicities to do so but I still have to navigate the world in a body of an Asian woman because I am one 😭😭😭 is this a common experience for adopted kids who are poc?? Idk blech

Life is miserable and by life I mean me I am hungry and sad and anxious and there is a big party tonight where I have to perform but I don’t want to I haven’t prepared at all because I’m going last minute and my parents and sister are made at me and are going to berate me and I’m very very sad and curled up in my bed feeling miserable right now it is not a fun time

I think I’m getting my period soon :((((

using alter-egos⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🌷

using alter-egos is something that helped me a lot in almost all aspects of my life and rly pushed me to become the best version of myself.

alter ego by definition is someones secondary or alternative personality. successful ppl like kobe bryant, beyonce and more use alter egos in their field of work.

alter egos r a direct way to put urself into the state of ur dream self or the best version of urself and can help u to grow and get out of ur comfort zone.

HOW TO USE AN ALTER EGO :

trust the process and put thought into it ~

3. once you've thought of all this for ur alter ego, all u have to do is breathe life into ur alter ego or egos. give it a name, ik megan thee stallion has an alter ego called tina snow.

dont just choose a random name, although u can name ur alter ego anything its important to choose a name that u feel some sort of emotional connection to. and a name that invokes or implies who you are or who you wanna be.

4. to activate ur alter ego use a totem or an artifact. (EX: when u wear a certain accessory or piece of clothing ur activating a certain alter ego) its called enclothed cognition which states the effect that clothes have on human cognition

Mona Lisa Smile is such a fantastic film I feel like we rarely see Dark Academia films that centre around female narratives

I waffle over insisting that Mona Lisa Smile is Light Academia because nobody dies, but yeah it's still showing that academia has flaws such as a systematic adherence to stifling traditionalism.

Female-Narrative Dark Academia:

1. Legally Blonde 2001. It takes place at a university, and there is a murder. That qualifies it as Dark Academia—even more than Mona Lisa Smile, in which nobody even dies. (I am kidding about this one.)

1. Agora 2009. It's about the philosopher and mathematician Hypatia getting religious trauma from somebody else's religion when all she wants to do is study and teach and research. Asexual representation!

2. The Children's Hour 1961. Midcentury schoolmarmie aesthetic, and what I call "malicious compliance to the Hays Code" era of filmmaking—plus, Audrey Hepburn is in it.

3. The Moth Diaries 2011. In my opinion the book by Rachel Klein was very much better, but as far as aesthetics goes it's still a good movie: splendid neoclassical campus, cute uniforms, and a study in gothic literature that gets so intense that it bleeds into real life. What more do you want from a Dark Academia movie?

4. Picnic at Hanging Rock. The 1975 film had its own open-ended moodpiece charm, but I liked the 2018 miniseries very much better—even though all the backstory and side-story makes it look as though it's building up to a conclusion, it's not. There is no conclusion. Even the book it's all based on was meant to be an unanswered mystery (apparently there is an answer, "the eighteenth chapter" that was sometimes included, but I think it's too sci-fi, so probably the whole thing would be better if left a mystery. Just enjoy the group dynamics and the aesthetic.)

5. The Falling 2014. I did not love this movie, there should be a photosensitivity warning, as it built up I couldn't believe in the title premise even though I think I could sense what they were trying to get at thematically by it. I feel as though the big twist was from a juvenile need to shock. But it is academic, it's dark, and it has mostly girls.

6. Down A Dark Hall 2018. I didn't like this movie either. The pacing was off and the character motivations were haphazard. Maybe the book is better? The premise was good and I sensed the movie was shaping itself around a fairly solid plot.

7. Cracks 2009. I finally got around to watching this and, while the subject matter is extremely dark and heavy, I think it was the best movie in this whole list. The characters and relationship dynamics are well-written in the sense that it told me everybody's motivations in a way that I could believe. I think it was very realistic in showing the power imbalance and undue influence of the insecure, abusive teacher character. It avoided showing the student victims as victims who were flat characters—they are strongminded and flawed, and that coexists with the fact that they have less power in the relationship with their teacher. The campus is stately if worn-down, the cinematography is every-frame-a-painting tier, casting and acting was impeccable, this is a good movie...but I wouldn't re-watch it for fun. Personally that honor goes to Hanging Rock and Moth Diaries.

But there you go! Dark Academia Girlies.

Thank you for the recommendations and reviews I will be now binge watching these 🤭