No one: 

Shrimp: Who are you? Who, who, who, who? 🦐🦐🦐🦐

Dive into our ✨updated✨ personality quiz and discover your inner shrimp!

Have you taken our “Which Shrimp Are You?” quiz yet? 👀

@caitallolovesyou

Some pictures of Flame w/ her chicks❤️

my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring

*holds your head in my hands* im sorry i let you down

Here’s some fossilized coral.

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

Remember that "three items from the store to make the cashier most uncomfortable" meme? Apparently I accidentally found a winning combo tonight at the corner store, one of the usual clerks shot me a really weird look when I was checking out with these

Jimmy Budgett

Wasted away again in Meageritaville

Pigeon attempts to court falcon

For all those in the notes - peregrine falcons hunt by dive-bombing their prey; this falcon however is currently stationary and cannot dive-bomb much of anything. In this moment, the pigeon is safe. The falcon however may not recover from the embarrassment.

I can't tell if that's a giant pigeon or a tiny falcon

Tiny falcon

this struck me

This reminds me of the dancing crab and octopus post. I love it.

was thinking of that while drawing as well HAHA

looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3 be like:

dont care

dont care

dont care

what the actual fuck

dont care

ooh that sounds- what the fuck

unfinished

don't care

the best fic ive ever read in my life. this absolutely ruined me and ill never be the same ever again

dont care

Reblogging for the absolute brutal accuracy of this comment

[ID: Comment by hellofriendballoon which reads "Ao3 is the goodwill bins of literature. Yr gonna find prada sometimes but also more than one container of human teeth." End ID]

what th

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO find this again for THREE YEARS but once Free! came out I couldn’t google ANIME SWIMMING CLIP ANYMORE

This is such a god damn amazing piece of animation

“Circe?”

“Yes Odysseus?”

“Where’s my crew?”

One of the things I like about memes is that they give me a good sense of when the different required reading assignments come around these days.

Oh, is it Odyssey meme season already? Must be February I guess.

Seems to be that time again

Must be February I guess.

‘redditors need to know this’, ‘twitterinas need to know that’… no. you need to know one thing and that is that you are not allowed to complain about werewolf fuckers. this is the werewolf fucking website. grow up and go fuck a werewolf.

What does this gif have to do with werewolves?

if you have to ask you’re not ready

can you explain? i don’t get it

This is like someone just informed the newcomers about the devils sacrament taking place every full moon and the devil itself popped up asking “what sacrament?” with a cheshire grin.

finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING

look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth

It was stupid good. So good in fact that the bbc filmed a version and put it on dvd when it debuted. I bought that dvd after I saw the show and put it up on the Internet Archive. The audio is not great but the dancing is spectacular. Ever see a pas de deux around an anatomical dissection? You will.

on the left is a roll of toilet paper

on the right is my arm

do u see how pale i am

I know what you are. You’re impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change colour and you never eat or come out into the sun.

say it

Frosty the Snowman

This works no matter which slice you start with

this is revolutionary meme technology right here

It also reads correctly clockwise and counterclockwise.

Tell me you know nothing about history without telling me you know nothing about history

What's next? A gay Frederick the Great? A fat Henry VIII? An asian Genghis Khan?

Ridiculous!

Next thing you know they will make Joan of Arc a woman

yall have no idea just how badly i want to cook some rice in gatorade

i hope to god im doing this right

im not sure how to feel about this

update: the gatorade didnt give the rice any flavor as i had hoped but the color is nice? Anyway i slapped some sweet chili sauce on it and now im eating the gatorade rice abomination while playing destiny 2

it looks fucking disgusting i know but it just tastes like rice

LAMBASTED FOR RICE CRIMES

stop reblogging this im begging all of you

happy birthday to my bastard child