this blog is the way i talk to god

The plot structures of movies need to start taking more cues from classic opera. Open with fucker in a hat who directly addresses the audience and explains what's going on in a way that raises far more questions than it answers, then immediately drop the viewer into the middle of a shouting argument between three of the weirdest people you can possibly imagine.

hey . are you using that boy for anything or can i borrow it

don't ask why. normal reason

Okay sounds good i trust you tumblr user boymounter

hey hold up whatt are u doing

Bitches love my lifeless dead eyes

*me eating something that I know will make my tummy hurt* i don't really care if this makes my tummy hurt

*a few hours later when my tummy hurts* oh... the quencies ...

save me asymmetrical armor designs. help me single shoulder pauldron

save me cool big glove or gauntlet on one hand

ultimately I have become the old man on the internet who must keep up with trends and that is actually very relaxing because it means I can say fucked up shit that's wrong and feign ignorance.

I think instead of graves there should be one big vat of glue we all get turned into when we die.

we all talk about doing it scared doing it alone doing it weird etc. but the the hideously awful truth is that you also often have to do it stupid

Pangur stopped eating due to horrible, horrible stress of occasionally hearing a baby animal mew, so I have found a spot outside the kitten radius to feed her

Energy company has got some sass

Duke Energy Fined $102 million for Polluting Rivers with Coal Ash

This is the best summary of the corporate deflection of blame for environmental destruction onto the consumer to save face I’ve ever seen

Beautiful lab grown women in your area

theyre actually sautéing the horrors

i think that killing a dragon should have catastrophic nuclear-fallout level environmental consequences tbh. their blood should scorch and wither the earth with fire and poison, the toxic fumes released as they decay should choke the land and all nearby living creatures, and the entire landscape where they fell should be transformed into a blighted wasteland where bleached leviathan bones loom upwards out of the ground as a warning that can be seen from miles away, the boundary markers of an exclusion zone.

i also think that it would be wonderfully ironic if those who sought the fame and glory of the title of 'dragonslayer' only ended up with the bitter, enduring reminder of the devastation they're responsible for. this is not a place of honor. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here.

Tumblr isn't even a website to me it's like if my diary was a groupchat

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that