oh god this is too much of a mood

as a child of divorce few things are as funny to me as the concept of alimony like you have to pay your ex-wife recompense for the crime of being a fail husband

JUST GOT MY CRINGE MONEY FROM MY FAIL HUSBAND

upgrade 

wonder who the culprit is

oh my god..a bread boy 

a crime of passion

I was at the coffeeshop in the village and someone asked me how my llamas are doing, and a woman overheard and told me that when she was a kid, her parents used to have a couple of llamas in their sheep farm, and every single sheep in their flock imprinted on one of the two llamas. Each sheep chose the best most charismatic llama according to mysterious sheep criteria, and never wavered in their ovine loyalty. Each of the two llamas was worshiped by a small sub-flock of devoted sheep who followed him everywhere like Jesus’s apostles and only left their field for transhumance when led by “their” llama. The funniest thing is the way this woman overheard the word “llama” and immediately came to sit next to me to tell me this, like she had waited since childhood to share her bewilderment about the two religious congregations of sheep led by rival llama prophets in her family farm.

im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers

ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 

(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

Yes this!

Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)

And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).

Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).

Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.

Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.

You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.

Not even a little bit.

@tamberland

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED

there should be a plague inc fandom

devolving a symptom that mutated on its own

“there are no healthy people left on earth”

me: doesn’t spend any dna points on preventing the cure from developing

the cure: eradicates my disease

me:

When one tiny island country remains uninfected the entire game so you start the plague there the next round:

new fave insult:

this is a weird hill you’ve chosen to die on, but at least you’re dead.

IMPORTANT!

It’s the no-internet dinosaur’s birthday!!

Turn off your internet! He has a hat!!

the thing where 2 guys or 2 girls’s hands are resting near each other and then they start inching closer and brushing fingers then eventually linking pinkies or fully holding hands while completely avoiding eye contact is THE most tender and fucking gayest trope i’ve ever seen and heterosexuals need to stay away from it

Are you shitting me. This is the most romantic trope and literally millions of straight people have done it. You can reclaim common romantic things. What’s wrong with you people.

Getting increasingly sick of this hollow-ass “fire belongs to gay people” tier bologna.

you’re right we should just share! how bout straight people get to exclusively use the ‘getting beaten within and inch of their life for holding hands with the person you love on the street’ trope while we have this one :)

Hello 911? Yes I’d like to report a murder

As a bisexual woman, this thread is beyond stupid. You can’t claim things for yourself. You don’t get to claim romantic gestures, or hair, or jewelry, etc. It’s not a thing you can control on every single person

I feel like… Anyone who tries to outlaw abortion should be legally required to raise a parrot

“This is a lifetime commitment I didn’t ask for!” Yeah, so is a baby. “It’s loud and my neighbors hate me!” Baby. “I was never trained how to raise an exotic bird! I have no idea what I’m doing!” Baby. “It’s expensive! It’s intelligent! It yells swears at top volume and bites me when its mad! I have three kids and a full time job, I don’t have time for a high maintenance pet!” ….Baby

Don’t forget to give the parrot legal human status so if they don’t take care of it they go to jail

you know who we need at the met gala? harper finkle

“There are many times when we’re planning a season that you kind of have to avoid giving the audience exactly what they want because things start to become predictable…” Dave Benioff

Honestly fuck this storytelling style. 

Fuck this style of storytelling that puts authorial masturbation over a satisfying conclusion to a story. Fuck this obsession with “swerves” and “subverting expectations.” 

Fuck this mentality that you have to outsmart the audience in order to make a good product. 

Fuck the idea that “predictable” is automatically boring. Fuck the idea that people who have been paying attention to long-running story arcs should be punished for giving a shit and expecting a cohesive conclusion to a long running story. 

Fuck this idea that disappointing endings are okay if they’re “unexpected.” Fuck this auteur mentality where writers have to prove that they’re the cleverest boys in the whole wide world. 

Tell a goddamned story; nobody tunes in for twists. 

this reminds me of………….. something……………..

Twists and surprises are the new dull, boring, predictable.

Seeing the twist coming doesn’t ruin it and if it does then your whole story is shit. Greek plays would just open with a synopsis of the ending. Romeo and Juliet calls them star-crossed lovers from the very beginning. I saw the final “Remember Me” in Coco coming from a mile away but that did absolutely nothing to lessen the impact and I stilled cried like a baby. Being able to predict what happens means that your story makes sense, and throwing a curveball in at the end for no reason other than to subvert expectations is lazy and shitty.

God, this isn’t how you write.

You set things up and if your audience EXPECTS what’s coming and is STILL PARTICIPATING, READING, WATCHING, LOVING IT then that’s because what they expect to happen is pleasing to them, they WANT it to happen, they’re invested in that ending.

If all your breadcrumbs are saying that the MC is going to kill the villain and you decide to ~subvert that~ so that your MC dies and the villain is killed by falling on a damn tuning fork, despite there being a dozen prophecies (okay, yeah, subvert prophecies, that’s fine) and all the foreshadowing (no, that’s something you put in, you don’t subvert your own damn writing like that) that says MC will kill villain just because…what? You want to surprise your audience?

That isn’t how you write.

Writing is about leading your readers, it’s about taking them on a god damn tour. If you sign up for a tour of a museum of art and midway through the tour goes, “I know you thought we were doing art but we’re going to go do a tour of historical war crimes,” you’re going to want to get off because you didn’t sign up for it.

On the other hand if you’re on that tour and as they glide through the museum you see that things are progressively getting darker and all the signs are implying that at the end of the museum run you’re going to end up in the historical war crimes exhibit and you stay with the tour, then it detouring at the last moment into a Pokemon exhibit isn’t good touring either. 

Good writing leads the reader, leaves them guessing the turns that are coming up but doesn’t betray what’s been written just because, “Oh, someone guessed so we had to change everything.”

I don’t remember what I saw that on but I remember there was a writer (TV? Movie? Not sure which) recently who said that too many fans had guessed the ending they were working on so they’d changed it all. That’s bad writing. 

It’s also grossly unfair to the people who were so invested and faithful that they were working on fan theories and trying to figure out where things were going.

This is how we end up regressing back into a culture where fandom and fan engagement is kept quiet, where you don’t speak above a whisper about the ending you think they’re working towards in fear that they’ll change it. 

I personally don’t want to go on that tour bus.

Thanks @ghxstxx for the submission

That’s high quality shit

A Stolen Kiss, Ron Hicks, Oil on Canvas, 2014.

by lmm7

This is cute