reddie + celebrity auction
Eddie Kaspbrak wasn’t quite sure what he was doing but it was too late to back out now. He’d received the text from his ex-wife inviting him out for dinner with her new boyfriend and he’d panicked. He was single and he just knew Myra would have something to say about it. He needed a date which was why he was currently at a charity auction, hosted by his company; he told himself it was quicker than going out and meeting someone.
So far, the contenders hadn’t caught his attention and Eddie was beginning to get nervous. Luckily, he’d been fairly vague on the details of his imaginary partner to Myra, he just needed someone he could hold a conversation with and could be attracted to. Half an hour later, he’d almost given up hope and was drowning his sorrows. The final guy was making his way onstage and Eddie perked up at bit. This guy was almost perfect. He wore a loud Hawaiian shirt, open to reveal a tuxedo shirt underneath. He was pushing his glasses into place as he took the mic, flashing a crooked smile.
“Hey, so I copied my intro from a used car website. Here goes: white - okay condition - reliable - cheap - no evidence of rear end damage. Must see.”
He finished with finger guns and Eddie had just one thought. Oh my God, Myra’s gonna hate this guy. Before he knew it, he’d raised his hand as the guy talked about himself; he had great stage presence and charisma so it was no surprise to Eddie when he discovered the guy was an aspiring comedian. A young woman was also bidding, batting her eyelashes and offering flirtatious waves towards the stage. Ever the showman, the guy onstage reciprocated which just made Eddie spend more money. Ten minutes and almost a thousand dollars later, he won and breathed a sigh of relief. He approached the table to leave his details, considering how he was going to bring up his predicament with his date. He spotted the comedian approaching, dodging away from the woman Eddie had outbid. He offered a smile in greeting, shaking the stranger’s hand. The taller man looked relieved, gesturing behind him.
“Thanks, man. She was gonna eat me alive.”
“No problem,” Eddie paused, wondering where the fuck he was going to start. He took a deep breath, “I need your help.”
“Sure. Usually, I have a list of ground rules. Like, just dinner but…” he blatantly looked him up and down, a pleased smile growing on his face, “for you, I can make an exception.”
Eddie shook his head, “no, nothing like that. Okay, well, the thing is my ex-wife has invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend and, like an idiot, I told her I had a boyfriend so she told me to bring him along because of course she did, I should have seen that coming, right? Only I don’t have a boyfriend. So here we are.”
The comedian blinked at him as he caught his breath, finishing his rant with a nervous glance at the guy whose companionship he’d just paid for. Finally, he shook his head in disbelief, “dude, just hire a hooker.”
“Where were you this morning?” Eddie said, folding his arms as Richie chuckled, “are you going to help me or not?”
Without hesitation, the guy nodded, “why not? Sounds fun. I’m Richie, by the way.”
“Well, then, Eds,” Richie threw his arm around Eddie’s shoulder, ruffling his hair playfully, “let’s get this show on the road.”
Eddie sighed, already beginning to regret agreeing to the whole thing.
Eddie looked away from the menu outside the restaurant and glanced through the window. Myra was already seated with her boyfriend, Jake, casually wiping the corner of his mouth like she was his mother. He sighed, nodding.
“She really downgraded, huh?” He watched Jake smile like a dopey fool at Myra, taking a bite of her salad from her fork. The sight was rather sickening. He noticed Eddie looking at him and he cleared his throat, “I mean, I don’t know you but, it’s obvious.”
Eddie still looked at him curiously, “you really think so?”
“Hell yeah,” Richie was so sincere it made Eddie blush, slipping his hand into the taller man’s. The comedian glanced down at their clasped hands and swallowed, “showtime, eh?”
Eddie nodded, leading him inside towards the host. As they waited, Eddie couldn’t help but notice Myra and Jake all over each other. He rolled his eyes, wondering if he should resort to such juvenile behaviour. One glance at Richie and his curiosity got the better of him. Fuck it.
Richie looked down at him, eyes comically wide and voice ridiculously high, “what?”
“Kiss me,” Eddie said quickly, grabbing the front of Richie’s shirt to pull him down to his level, “and don’t be afraid to grab my ass a little.”
Richie was beginning to consider there might be a God after all, “am I actually dreaming or…”
And then Eddie was kissing him, so much so that Richie was forced to hold him to keep from melting on the floor in a puddle. They only separated when the host cleared his throat, looking both uncomfortable and irritated at the same time. Richie adjusted his glasses, looking very pleased with himself if a little hot under the collar. To Eddie’s delight, Myra and Jake looked shell shocked and he took Richie’s hand again.
“We have a reservation under Kaspbrak.”
"I’m sorry,” Eddie said as they pulled up outside his flat, wringing his hands nervously, “I know this wasn’t the night you had in mind.”
“Are you kidding?” Richie scoffed, switching off the engine and turning to face Eddie, smiling genuinely, “I had a great time. I’m…really glad you chose me, man.”
Eddie’s eyes lit up, “really?”
"Yeah. Although, I’d like to get to know you better without the audience.”
Feeling brave, Eddie leaned over and kissed Richie on the cheek. Much like the comedian, he had a hard time trying to stop smiling, “I’d like that, too.”
