Writers and rejections.
Inexplicably
Beguiling.
Have we talked about Esther Perel's marvelous red chair? That as a psychotherapist she has this red chair which is, incidentally, a jewel of furniture design, makes sense to me. She makes perfect sense speaking about the theater and her office of a psychotherapist. If I ever have a private practice with its own office (as opposed to doing my coaching or therapy sessions online), I would make sure I have one of those rare chairs (maybe not the same particular model Perel has, which, by the way, is called a womb chair). I also jokingly said to my girlfriends on multiple occasions that I would put a portrait of Freud onto the wall. To the idea of putting Freud on the wall those of my girlfriends who happen to have Ph.D.s in psychology strongly opposed. For sure, Freud can and should be criticized for a lot, and nobody who read Freud in our anthropology or philosophy seminars liked him also, but Freud was also the one who called attention to the inner life of the soul and paid scientific attention to dreams rather than dismissing and relegating the area of dream analysis to fortune tellers, and, finally, Freud was a beautiful and compelling writer even when what he wrote was not what we would accept. I think we don't need to agree with what writers say to enjoy the form in which they put their thoughts. In short, I am still tempted by the idea of a Freud's portrait and some fancy chair in my imaginary physical office. Judge me, but I would totally put a recamier sofa in my office as well! I said what I said 😆
Dear friends, I am aiming to post a video a week, and my new video is about unlocking creativity in art: https://youtu.be/LPYrbwS-yW8 I am sharing details about my own art preparation and what I learned from it. One of my teachers was Lyudmila Skubko-Karpas: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyudmila_Skubko-Karpas - a marvelous and underappreciated artist who lived in Russia and had a period of emigration in France. I have not mentioned it in the video, but she taught me to lose the edges of the objects while painting and sometimes even while drawing. Objects do not have to have clearly defined edges; they can dissipate into the room and blend in.
I have not had a systematic training and art, and, like many artists, I am facing and confronting a lack of my technical skills while painting. However, I would argue that our technical deficiencies are not the reason to quit doing art and deprive ourselves from the enjoyment that the art could bring. We often approach art from the place of unrealistic expectations about ourselves, whereas a greater and a more productive way would be to approach art from the place of humility. At the same time, lack of skills does not mean that we cannot say a new word in art; after all, contemporary art could take an infinite number of forms. You are allowed to lavishly borrow from recognized masters, such as Matisse or Rothko. If you say that what you do is art, there is no higher authority in the world that has a word over what you are doing. Nobody is better positioned to declare that what the artist is doing is art than the artist, and nobody can tell the artist that what they are doing is not art.
Art can be very prohibitive in terms of skills, time and effort that are required to learn how to art, and also due to the high prices on the good materials. The thing that I learned in Andriyaka Watercolor School is that, paradoxically, the poorer is the quality of the materials that the artist is using, the greater must be the skills to compensate for the poor quality of the materials. For example, it is important what kind of paper you are using to do your watercolor on, unlike with writing, for which you could use about any napkin. Of course, if you are a genius (and I am not saying you are not), you could get away with whatever. However, if you are an artist seeking to enter that state of mind where you think of yourself as an artist without much of an inner conflict, you would do well obtaining quality materials for your art from the beginning.
Other tips are the same that I described in my video on writing: allow yourself to write/paint, seek the company of those who paint/write, do not make writing or painting into a choir but nevertheless do it regularly, do an exhibition/publish your stuff, and so on. I am offering my time for those who might want or need my one-on-one assistance; you can book a session with me at https://tl.page/vasilina-or to work on your projects and on unleashing your creativity in a more focused manner. I think everyone has an unlimited potential to be creative.
Like my video and subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/vasssilina
Feel free to follow me on LinkedIn as well: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vasilinaorlova/
I hope you are having a great day!
#art #creativity #lifecoach #unlockingcreativity
Oh to be
A small stone
In the avalanche
In my new video, I am thinking through the importance of the creation of the archive for a writer. To partly summarize and partly expand on what I was saying, writer creates an archive throughout his or her life. We only know the writer from what the writer publishes. We cannot have access to all the insights that the writer does not publish. Archive is hidden from us, but the writer can return to the archive and revisit the writing.
Often, contemporary writers produce an endless stream of first drafts that they publish instantaneously on social media. We are hoping that our next first draft is going to be magically better than our previous first draft. However, if improvement is happening by producing an endless stream of first drafts at all, then such an improvement is slow and accrues over a great period of time. By contrast, writing is more efficiently perfected by revisiting the first draft and making a second draft out of the first draft. The more time we can return to the same draft and fix infelicities, the better is the result.
A lot of writers find their first drafts hideous and are prone to the wishes to destroy the first drafts or tack them away from view. The produced writing will benefit if the writer returns to it and works with it. Some things that make you cringe in your writing can be struck down. Other things that you like about your writing can be left as is. You can build on what you like. You can get rid of what you don't like. These things may sound simple, yet sometimes even more experienced writers overlook them, I find from my observations.
You can book a session with me at https://tl.page/vasilina-or to work on your writing project in a more focused manner.
Like my video and subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/vasssilina
Feel free to follow me on LinkedIn as well: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vasilinaorlova/
I was inspired by the talk by David Kessler I just attended to finally record the video I was going to record for several weeks now about why it is important to declutter and bring order into your space. I hope you enjoy it.
I am sharing some of my thoughts about decluttering and the space where we are living. The key ideas are that decluttering is counter-intuitive because from the time immemorial people tried to keep and acquire possession, rather than getting rid of them. However, our possessions, the things we surround ourselves with, the objects act upon us. They affect us. Therefore, we must control what is getting into our circle of attention.
Intricate storage systems are not the answer, as Marie Kondo would insist, rightly. Storage is not an alternative to discarding things. Not only organized storage takes roughly the same space that the not tightly organized things take, but creating the storage also takes your time. Time is the most important things that we have. Objects and taking care of them are not more important than our time.
One of the points that I am making is that decluttering does not have to lead to minimalism. While minimalism as an interior style steers off clutter, having things does not constitute clutter by default. The dead unusable matter, an agglomerate of things that dissipates into the noise somewhere in the corners are clutter. Things that bring you joy aren't clutter, even if you have a lot of those things. Some things we have to have, such as books, but to have necessary books we must also have space for the books.
Other works I mentioned: Nagisa Tatsumi The Art of Discarding and Jordan Peterson Twelve Rules for Life. Thank you for your attention. Let me know what you think; like my video or comment if you feel like we need to continue exploring the topic. As I said, what I pay more attention to will partially depend on you. If you are inspired by the idea of decluttering, you can book a session with me at https://tl.page/vasilina-or I am looking forward to seeing you again. I am enjoying recording these videos, and I hope you are enjoying your day.
#decluttering #declutter #order #disorder #discarding #interior #philosophy #objects #space
In Order to Have Something Written You Have to Know What You Are Writing: https://youtu.be/6lE_OqceJsg
In continuation to our previous video (https://youtu.be/bfhOOQiA7HU), I am offering to writers to think about what they are writing. Rather than writing a chain of notes on social media or in a journal, we can think about our work as a work that has a certain design. For a novel, you have to think through a set of different questions than a set of questions to think through when you are writing a non-fiction project.
Some of the questions that the author would benefit from asking while writing fiction are: what characteristics does the character have? What does the character go through? What changes occur to them? What is their conflict, and how does the conflict culminates? What would be the resolution of the conflict? What is a broader message that you want to send to the world?
Some of the questions that the author would benefit from asking while writing non-fiction are: what is my research question? What is the significance of me answering this research question for others? What is at stake of me answering (or not answering) this question to humanity? What is the answer to this question? What hypothesis am I defending? What kind of evidence do I use to bolster my argument and make my case? If you are writing fiction, you are not going to write non-fiction, and when you are writing non-fiction, you are not (well, hopefully) going to end up with fiction.
Certainly overlaps between fiction and non-fiction exist, but the overlaps are a topic for a separate conversation. If differences between forms and genres of writing sound like a too serious commitment, continuing taking notes and deriving joy from notes are valid. Let us reaffirm all sorts of writing. However, in order to have something written you have to know what you are writing and commit to returning to that file.
Book a session with me to explore what you want to write at https://tl.page/vasilina-or - I can walk you step by step from the idea to publication. The algorithms exist, and they are known. We don't have to reinvent anything, we can simply avail ourselves to what is already out there. Like this video, leave me a comment, and feel free to subscribe to the channel. I am hoping to record a video on decluttering soon, in the fulfillment of my initial idea to offer coaching on unleashing creativity, decluttering, and breakup. And academia! I did not mention academia in my opening video on life coaching, but I want to include academia as a venue for an exploration. Later, I will narrow down the number of topics, once I understand which ones are of more interest to others. I want my life coaching endeavor to be people-driven. People have a voice here. See you!
This video, recorded on the occasion of me getting my first client in the life coaching, is going into the realm of tips on how to write. To summarize, clarify, and expand on what was said,
1) consider writing and editing to be two separate tasks; you have to allow yourself to write and suspend your inner critic; you cannot edit while writing - I mean, you can, but better to avoid editing while writing. You can edit later.
2) to get a motivation to write, you have to become a part of writing community. The writing community does not have to be face to face or in person and can be half imaginary or even consist of you twenty years later, but the writing community has to exist.
3) to write, you have to read. There is no way around reading. Reading does not have to be a daunting part; you can read what you like.
4) writing is the only thing that opens doors, apart from resources that we might not possess, such as money and connections. Therefore, it is helpful to get into a habit of writing. The book I mentioned was Peter Elbow's Writing Without Teachers: https://www.amazon.com/Writing-without-Teachers-Peter-Elbow/dp/0195120167/ - Elbow's book helped me, and it can help you.
I can help you in getting into a habit of writing and unleashing your creativity as a life coach and even as a developmental editor. Book a session with me at https://tl.page/vasilina-or
When I was talking about my own background as a writer, I did not mention that in addition to journal publications, I also have books out: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Vasilina-Orlova/author/B001I0OUKC
I hope you are having a great day! Like and comment. See you soon.
#writing #lifecoaching #lifecoach #creativity #unleashingcreativity
Omg, you wouldn't believe me, but I have my first client at my life coaching page! We are going to be working on getting him back into creative writing. I am so looking forward to it!
Here is my opening video about my life coaching! Please watch my video!
https://youtu.be/qdxpEbvpuo4
I opened my time to people, and I am inviting you to book a life coaching session with me on the website Take Lessons: https://takelessons.com/profile/vasilina-o - it can be online, and it could be in person if you are in New York.
The areas of interest right now for myself as a coach are:
1. Decluttering (Mary Condo is a big name here, and I do recommend her first two books);
2. Relationships and, in particular, breakup;
and
3. Unleashing creativity.
I might lean into one of these first identified directions as we continue a conversation into this direction. In the video, I touch upon how life coaching is different from mental health counseling field. I am currently pursuing my master's degree in mental health counseling, in addition to my previous degrees.
There are considerable differences between mental health counseling and life coaching, and I am not touching on each aspect, merely acknowledge that there are differences. You can follow my mental health counseling studies by subscribing to my blog Happier and Freer: https://happierandfreer.wordpress.com/
Follow me also on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vasilinaorlova/
And thank you so much for following me on my journey! Humanity deserves far more happiness than it is currently enjoying. Together, we can become happier and freer, in all areas of life.
Do like and comment; I always appreciate it!
#lifecoach #lifecoaching #happiness #happierandfreer
Psychopathic
Psyop.
I never thought I will have the opportunity to write about One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a wonderful film that I watched a long time ago with my friend. (It was in Moscow, no war against Ukraine in sight, during the summer, and I liked my friend very much, which was not entirely reciprocated). Much less did I expect that I will write about this film in the course of ethics at my mental health counseling program. But I am relieved to find that the nurse in the film clearly stood in violation of the standards of the mental health counseling profession. That sure brings me some relief at the injustice portrayed in the movie, perhaps it even brings some resolution to the overall sweet pain of watching it with that friend (well, I did not write about this part in my paper).
The idea of the movie is far grander than the slant I was able to touch, as the psychiatric institution in the film is a model for the state, in my opinion. I did not have the opportunity to explore this direction in this genre of writing... But it is still cathartic to me to write this tiny paper, as I was so impressed by the film, back then, bordering on being traumatized. (Spoiler alert; the post and the paper do contain spoilers. Watch first and then read;)
Read my paper making a case for diagnosing John Nash from A Beautiful Mind (2001) with (you guessed it) schizophrenia. I was thoroughly entertained writing it. I loved that movie... Did you see it?
I bought an empanada from the oven at a cafe and sat in the corner to eat it. There was nobody in the cafe, except for me. As I ate the empanada, I noticed that it was dry because it dried in that oven where it probably spent hours before I bought it. The empanada was tasteless and resembled cardboard, but I continued eating it. A guy from the counter approached me and put on the table a brown package. I said, what is it, are you closing? He said, no, this is an empanada for you, because that empanada that was from the oven... I don't want you to waste your money. I thanked him and accepted his gift of another empanada. I packed what I haven't eaten and retreated. I was uncomfortable that he paid attention that the first empanada was dry. Was I not supposed to eat it? Sure, it did not taste like anything, but what did it matter if it still was relatively edible? Even though I was not hungry, I opened the second empanada right away on the street, out of curiosity. I was wondering how different the normal empanada was supposed to be from the first empanada that became its own dry shadow. However, the second empanada was raw. It consisted of a raw dough and a mess of a chicken that had one thing going for it: it positively wasn't dry. Nevertheless, I was very grateful to have my day full of empanadas, two, not one, so different from each other, and for the kind guy who actually cared that the first empanada was dry and wanted to make it better. It did make my day, and the rest of the universe, a little better than it was before, in my eyes. There was some space for kindness in some corners, after all. What is more to it, there were plenty of such corners, moments, and people, more than we were willing to acknowledge.
As you might know, I am writing a novel for the last ten years. In English, which isn't my native language (but who cares, even I don't). My writing isn't fascinating. In fact, it is barely readable. My novel is boring. I am even bored of writing it, not to mention reading it. But it's okay because there are so many books out there. Books aren't as important as I got used to thinking about them as a child.
As you might remember, I am doing my Master's in Mental Health Counseling. The first semester flew by really quickly. This new semester, I will be taking three courses from the beginning and then the fourth since March. The courses that I am about to be taking are Advanced Ethics, Diagnosis and Treatment Planning, and Substance Abuse Counseling. Delightful! I am very much looking forward to them.
I began studying mental health counseling in hopes to bring some relief. I was pushed into this field by the war. I am looking forward to being able to alleviate some of the struggles of individuals, or, at least, this is an idea. It became clear to me that the world needs mental health counseling in far greater portions than it is able to attain. I am hoping to respond to this need. Not sure what else I can do. We will see if I am able to walk this path. Maybe not, but at least I am trying, keenly aware of the smallness of my efforts at the face of the disaster that is war.