trigger warning - talking and describing mental illness
The wind felt nice against your skin as you strolled around the neighborhood. It had rained last night, leaving the smell of fresh grass and damp leaves to trail up your nose. The sound of 42 echoed in your ears, reminding you why you were outside instead of with your best friends.
Truthfully, you just needed a break.
Four years ago today, Ahmaud Arbery was chased and killed by three white men while jogging in a Georgia residential neighborhood.
Ahmaud’s killers were convicted of murder and federal hate crimes one year later after Georgia passed a hate crime bill with bipartisan support.
While this legislation was a step in the right direction, true justice would be Ahmaud still living today. His life mattered.
DON'T EVEN-
I CAN'T EVEN-
*FERAL SCREAMING*
You rushed out of the crowded bar and made your way to the empty rooftop.
Finally, you had space to breathe.
You were overlooking the flashy city lights and wondered if life would ever get better.
You were so engulfed with the busy thoughts in your mind that you didn’t even notice the goosebumps forming on your skin.
All you could focus on was that ugly feeling in your chest.
The one that made you feel hollow and empty.
You placed your flat palms over your heart, trying to soothe yourself.
Unfortunately, healing the black hole in your core wasn’t as easy as some light touch though.
Your eyes started to burn; tears were already piling up behind them, but you fought against it.
You had cried over the same thing over and over and over – what was the point of crying once more?
What was the point of trying once more?
The rooftop’s door hastily flung open as Minho made its way to you.
“Y/N!”, he shouted agitated.
“Why the fuck are you up here? All by yourself?”
His voice was worried.
You turned around to face him – his beautiful features were laced with concern.
Was it because of you?
“I had to escape, Min.”
Quickly, he came closer while tacking off his jacket.
He placed it over your shoulders and hugged you from behind.
“What happened?”, he asked quietly.
Against your will, tears started to spill, and you felt yourself tense up. “It’s okay. You can talk to me, y/n.”
The shame in your heart made it hard to form words.
You tried to focus on Minho’s chin on your shoulder, the weight of his skull digging into your delicate skin.
His large hands were laced over your stomach, holding you safely in place. Being close to him like this wasn’t unusual for the both of you – everyone knew how special you were to one other.
You knew each other since kindergarten, after all.
“You know it’s only me, y/n. You can tell me anything, right?”, he whispered softly.
You nodded your head, while looking down at his hands.
He was right – he was your biggest supporter after all.
“Do you remember the last guy I briefly dated?”
You felt him tense up instantly.
“The one you went on a date with and stayed the night at his hotel?”
“Yeah, that one.”
“What about him?”
You took a deep breath before re-living what had just happened.
“I was getting a drink with my friend, and he is working the bar tonight. So naturally, we stayed a little bit longer at the bar. You know…”
You felt beyond stupid to say it out loud. I was staying a little longer, so he could notice me and give me attention. And love. How pathetic.
Minho knew you like the back of his hand, so he got what you were implying quickly. It pained him that you still acted like that – begging for a motherfucker’s validation instead of realizing how amazing you truly were.
“Did he notice you?”
“Yeah.”
The sadness oozing from you was heartbreaking.
“What happened?”
“We chatted for a while and then he took out pen and paper.”
“At a bar?”, Minho chuckled.
“Yeah, he started writing a letter or something and when he was done, he gave that letter to my friend.”
Minho’s eyes widened in surprise. “Your friend?”
Silently, you nodded.
“She read it and got really angry. I saw her crumple up that piece of paper and throw it against him while spatting into his face… Something about how disgusting he was.”
You didn’t see his face, but you could tell that his eyes were narrowing and shooting daggers. Minho always got angry when others disrespected you, always ready to beat them up.
“What happened then?”
You stayed silent.
“What happened then, y/n?”, Minho urged you to answer.
Your body started shaking, representing your fragile state of mind. Minho noticed too and hugged you tighter, sharing his body warmth with you.
“I fished the letter out from behind the bar and read what was on it. Turns out it wasn’t a letter but a list.”
“A list?”
Your heart was pounding out of your chest by now.
“A list of all my flaws, so to say.”
“What?”, he shouted in agitation.
Your body collapsed inwardly, too ashamed to bear it all. Yet, each attack against you burned itself into your soul.
“Y/N is too fat – she needs to lose some weight. Y/N needs some confidence, she legit has no self-worth. Y/N isn’t that great in bed, I definitely fucked better.”
You felt Minho’s heart beat quickly, too quickly, and decided to stop. You only mentioned three points, but that list had a lot more to offer.
A lot more.
You felt his hands untangle from your stomach as you heard him declare that he was going to kill that bastard.
“No”, you gripped his hands tightly.
Minho stopped, confused, but respectful of your wish.
“You don’t want me to beat him up?”
You shook your head and turned around to face him.
He was agitated, breathing heavily, and shooting daggers at anything and everything.
Anything but you.
“Y/N, I don’t understand. You want to protect that dickhead? After all that he put you through?”
You flinched at his words as all the past actions came back into your mind.
The wonderful first date and passionate night.
The realization that all of that was based on lies.
The countless times he messaged you when he was bored.
The countless times he ignored you.
The countless times you felt like a pawn that was pushed mercilessly on the battlefield of love.
You didn’t want to protect him per se – you’d rather wanted to be done with feeling like this.
“Min, will there ever be an end to this?”
He furrowed his brows, wondering what you were referring to.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just sick and tired of feeling like this. All the love that’s out there is just fake. Is that my destiny?”
Compassion formed on his face.
“You think love is fake?”
“How could I not?”, you chuckled cynically.
“Every time I fall for someone, he lets me down. I fall flat on my face, but shouldn’t I be caught? Caught in love, Min?”
He cleared his throat, nervously trying to find the right words.
“Sometimes I do believe that you don’t want that, y/n.”
“Huh?”, you asked confused.
Minho took your hands into his and started explaining himself.
“I’ve known you for a very long time and if there’s one thing that I know about you for sure, it’s your expectancy to be let down. You don’t encounter those dickheads for nothing, y/n. You purposefully choose them.”
He took a step closer, while you took a step back. Your back was pressed against the grid now, making it impossible to get away from him.
“You are so afraid of love being fake, that you deliberately look for people that can prove you right. But you are also ignoring the ones being there for you, providing you security and…”
Minho leaned forward and pressed his soft lips onto yours, slightly and cautiously.
“Love.”
You looked at him with eyes wide open, not understanding what had just happened.
“I’ve loved you for all my life, y/n but you were never ready. I’m not sure if you’re ready now but I can’t hold back anymore.”
He deeply gazed into your eyes and caressed your cheek with his hand.
“When you’re finally ready to fall and be caught… you know, in love, I’ll be here. Find me then.”
Minho placed another kiss on your forehead and turned around, leaving you alone on this empty rooftop.
You watched him leave in bewilderment, too shocked to process the last couple of minutes.
Like a reflex, your index finger traced over your lips while thinking of his.
“Find me then”, you whispered.
Would you?
HYUNJIN ♡ Iwakura & Yoshizumi's Program
hes too pretty
happy menstruation to all who are participating this week
✰ ゙ Jeongin [ Stray Kids ] lockscreens ‹‹
Hey does anyone know where to find the SKZ I.N x reader one shot where he doesn’t feel comfortable with skinship and it makes reader sad, so he slowly tries to make skinship and it ends really fluffy?
Hope this makes sense 🖤
hyunjin on bubble: my dad took these for me
락 (樂) (LALALALA)
“follow your heart, be brave and courageous & go into the crowd. there’s crossroads in your life and you realise you do have a chance, you are worth something and it takes some work to do the right thing” - Matthew Perry 🤍
The passing of Matthew Perry is genuinely hitting hard. He portrayed the hell out of a character that I adored for many years of my life. A character that was hilarious yet insecure, confident yet awkward, a character that never failed to put a smile on my face. 'Friends' has been watched hundreds of times at this point and now it won't hit quite the same. Matthew, like all of us, had his struggles and I can only hope that he is at peace.😔
I'M JUST KEN performed by Ryan Gosling
“I’m watching Mission: Impossible for the plot.”
The plot:
