Reblogged
gifsboom
BIRDS DON’T FART. It has been scientifically demonstrated as well. So either this is fake, or that poor penguin is sick, which is why the other penguin run away....
Doom's files: Lobo, the last Czarnian - an appropriately outrageous post!
Today's guest post is about the alien bounty hunter Lobo, for a reason you will discover at the end of this article.
Lobo is not a Marvel character and shouldn't exist in this blog.
Lobo is a DC character, Marvel's rival company! But Lobo doesn't care, because he goes wherever he pleases.
Who is Lobo? The last of his race, he is a Czarnian, an alien species that was just like us humans... except they were immune to disease, sadness, anger, envy. They were like us, but perfect in every way (and pearl white-skinned like a KISS singer).
So of course, Lobo is the last of his race because he killed everyone else.
Turns out everyone in planet Czarnia was so perfect that Lobo was born as the exact opposite of them. If they didn't know anger, hate or rage, Lobo didn't know joy, compassion or peace.
But mind you, he is not a dark character.
Lobo is a parody of everything that made superheroes cool.
Lobo was a meaner and crazier Deadpool, long before Deadpool existed!
Just like Deadpool, he was all about satire, but unlike Deadpool, he was far nastier and far less politically correct. Deadpool, deep down, just wants to be accepted. Lobo, deep down, just wants to gut you and eat your entrails.
And now, after presentations have been made, here's the reason why this guest post is about the last Czarnian....
ENJOY THE "LOBO PARAMILITARY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL" MOVIE, FOR THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT!
Movie adapation of FF plans to call forth Doom's wrath
“He’s Victor Domashev, not Victor von Doom in our story. And I’m sure I’ll be sent to jail for telling you that. The Doom in ours—I’m a programmer. Very anti-social programmer. And on blogging sites I’m ‘Doom.’ “
So... after deciding that the Human Torch is now a token black guy (but is the brother of the very white-skinned Invisible Woman)... after deciding that the Thing is some skinny, unassuming dude... after deciding that Reed Richards is young...
THE MOVIE VERSION OF DR DOOM WILL BE AN INTERNET HACKER WHO CALLS HIMSELF "DOCTOR DOOM" ON INTERNET WEBSITES.
Despair as he makes racist Youtube comments! Cower in fear as he harasses some female game developer on Twitter! Shiver as he sends you spam mails!
Perhaps we've got it all wrong guys - they're trying to make that movie as bad as they could because it's actually a parody.
Reblogged doktorvondoom
Hello, fellow supporter of Latveria's greatest ruler!
I have read your reply to my post "Doom's files: spot the mad scientist!" and I appreciate the time you took to write it.
If you look around my blog, you will see that my description of every Marvel character is..... less than flattering, really. My blog playfully makes fun of how terrible some comic panels are. Super-Skrull is my favorite character and I think he is extremely cool, but if you were to read my post about him, you wouldn't get that idea. That's because for the style of my blog, I mock superheroes... but in good heart, since I actually love them!
So I have intentionally picked some of the worst comic panels about Reed Richards just like I always choose the worst panels about Doom or about other guest characters.Specifically to laugh at how wrong those panels are.
Admittedly, I do personally like the idea that Reed deep down might suffer the same complexes that Doom has, as it's been hinted in a few occasions. But that's because characters in superhero comics change a great deal depending on who is the writer, so if I wanted I could even claim that the Hulk is not dumb but is a very intelligent green monster, and I could find comics to prove that too.
Thank you for your comment, and I hope you still got a few laughs out of my post about Mister Fantastic. :)
Doom's files: spot the mad scientist!
I've made guest posts about two of my favorite Marvel villains: Super-Skrull and Thanos.
And now, as I mentioned the other day... it is time for "Doom's files" to talk about someone who is not a villain (maybe).
A very important post, because it's about the most important figure in Doom's life, even more important than his beloved mother. You know who it is:
REED RICHARDS!!!
Reed Richards is a genius scientist, so much of a genius in fact, that he is the only one whose smarts can match those of Victor Von Doom.
People may passingly see this guy and think he's an eccentric, quirky scientist, the good counterpart to the evil doctor Doom.
Well, you may not believe I am not saying this as a biased Latveria's chronicler, but.... think again, buddy. The fact he calls himself Mr. Fantastic, while he refers to his best friend as the Thing, should give you a little tip that intelligence isn't the only characteristic he and Doom have in common....
GAH!! At least Doom has the decency to wear a mask when he makes these faces!!
And Doom had the decency to not have children. The poor kiddo.
There is however one thing in which Reed Richards definitely surpasses Victor Von Doom.
CHAUVINISM!!!
(Important: you must play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ while reading this for the full effect.)
(You may now proceed to stop the Yakety Sax theme from playing.... or not.)
Blablablah... gosh Reed, you speak with walls of text.
So here's the thing about Reed Richards, aka "Mister Fantastic"....
....Reed Richards is just the same kind of person Doom is, but he is seen as a hero wherein Doom is seen as a monster.
Doom looks at Reed like in a mirror, and sees what he should have been: a man with friends, a wife, a kid, a Nobel prize and the admiration of the world, and no need to hide his face.
Reed looks at Doom like in a mirror, and sees all the megalomania, the egotism, the hunger for self-recognition, the disdain for those of inferior intelligence... that he feels too.
Is it any wonder they hate but need each other?