*Insert witty one-liner here*

this new villain wont stop fucking bugging me his names the tickler

the tickler blew up a hospital yesterday

just fought some guy, called himself "the rainbow goblin". said, "im like the green goblin, but GAY!!!"

i did have to kick his ass but it was because he was blowing up buildings not because hes gay

im bisexual

did you just fix homophobia

WOAH just saw spiderman eating pizza on a roof

oh shit he ate the whole thing . he just like me frfr

spiderman just left the pizza box on the roof but then came back a minute later and clearly felt bad for littering so now hes swinging through downtown holding an empty pizza box

hes hit a street light

he's swinging away now clearly very embarrassed and he thinks nobody saw it. i saw you spiderman

fuck

04/22/2024

Help us get groceries!

It's the day before I get paid, but we have too many expenses to be able to really make room for a lot of food so we need help!!!

We just need enough to be able to fill in the gaps and get some groceries so we can stop relying on takeout, it's unsustainable to have to keep ordering out so we really need this!!!

We need $120 by today

CA: $lezsalt or $sleepyhen

VM: wildwotko

Dm 4 PP

Playing with my dolls in my mind palace. Making them fight

Now I'm making them lez out

i love to make fun of notorious white woman Taylor Swift and all of her embarrassing attempts to appear deeper than a plate of soup.

happy to announce that this post is at the top of the taylor swift tag, meaning this is the most widely shared opinion regarding Taylor on this website at the moment.

Literally the first thought I had was käänteiskentauri

Reblogging for many things but especially for that final pun.

The final pun is brilliantly wrought and deserving of applause that is, at the very least, 45 caliber.

i like aphrodite's matching makeup with ares :)

Hey we saw you from across the glade and we really hate your vibe.

you know what really gets my goat?

el chupacabra

I’m sorry!? What?!

Whoa, chupacabra’s a millennial?

The first person who claimed they saw the chupacabra described it as being bipedal, having greenish-grey reptilian skin, and having a row of spikes down its back. She had also recently seen the 1995 film Species, which happens to feature an alien that looks like this:

Oh I was already beaten to this explanation so I’ll reblog this one. Shame she left out one critical detail though. We could have had three decades of tits out goatsucker legends.

The Lovers

The biggest scam your brain is telling you is that everybody else is human and allowed to make mistakes but that you yourself have to be perfect and flawless to deserve their company

gale's reaction to mystra telling him to blow himself up is obviously heartbreaking but on the other hand it is deeply DEEPLY hilarious when Gale, Learned professor of renown, is like "if there was another way to defeat the absolute don't you think the goddess of magic would have thought of it" and the band of badly socialized half-feral murder children he's running with just go "well maybe the goddess of magic is stupid, gale"

Didgori Monument, Georgia

taylor swift is neither tortured nor is she any kind of poet lol

ohh i get it now, she's the one torturing poets

she's such a hack lmao

she’s too successful to be morose like this. come on girl take some joy in your position. tell us about how great it feels to be at the top. there’s no bangers on this album

my son wrote those

my younger son produced these