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Paradoxical being

@iggyalfi2319 / iggyalfi2319.tumblr.com

Iggy/Remus. Ey/Em/Eir. Nearing 30's. ASD. Hi, I'm just an Alien who tries to survive in a world I don't belong to.
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This is relevant once again. I apologize if you are a real human getting blocked/reported.

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iggyalfi2319

Assuming that recent wave of said void blogs following me are bots who aren't even bothering on putting on icons anymore,

Might reblog this post so if you're an actual person and you don't wanna get flushed out with these, you've been warned.

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Was kinda missing my boy a bit, also too the opportunity to try to think of an outfit outside of his diving suit.

Even if said outfit happens to be a rain parka and water shoes, with his swimming goggles sitting around his neck cuz the guy cannot stay dry and away from the sea, not even for a hot minute 😂

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I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

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I wish Gacha games weren't so cartoony, so I tried to put effects the best I could. Oh well 😅

Happy MerMay! 🐟

For once I finally managed to make something this fishy month!

Presenting you: Phos

I have yet to work on her backstory but I'm thinking of either a curse or biological accident, causing her to become a giant sea creatures with angler fish traits and electric properties.

Her name comes from the person confusing the bioluminescent light she emits as phosphorescence. I'll try to come back to it later.

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Since it's May,

I've been daydreaming about creating a mer character for MerMay,

And I thought, why not Angler fish? Cuz, y'know scary looking but misunderstood monster themed character, haha 🥰

Anyway

I searched angler fish on Wikipedia

Man, fishes and bugs are lucky to be naturally G/T sized compared to their mate 🤣

I would find adorable and accurate to see a pod of mers, with differently sized partners.

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Growing Thoughts

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I can't art but I still I wanted to try to cross two POVs during a growth scene.

Both Jayden's and Daniel's POV a few minutes before the "Giant Growth"

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I don't know what's up with Daniel lately...

I feel like something is off as recently...

For some reasons, he looks different...

I don't feel like myself...

Should I be concerned?

I don't want to worry Jayden, though...

I hate feeling helplessly small and young. I want to help him.

He's so small and young. I don't want to burden him.

No to mention it feels like Daniel keeps growing taller every time I look at him.

Did Jayden get smaller recently?

Cranning my head higher and higher to look at him.

Lowering further down my head to look at him.

Why does it feel like the distance between us keeps growing...

He's getting farther away...

He looks so big...

He is so small...

I'm scared...

He must be scared...

...of being unable to keep up with him...

...of me hurting him...

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iggyalfi2319
It will be okay 🫂
I was so deep in my thoughts, I didn't notice the looming presence behind me. In my weak defense, Nichiya wasn't the type to make any unnecessary noises to begin with, regardless his size.
I flinched a little when I felt someone touching me, before immediately relaxing when I realized who it was. Nichiya gently gathered me into his hand, careful not to go too fast.
Despite looking like he was made of alabaster, his skin was warm but not scorchingly hot.
He very slowly brought me to his face, lightly pressing me against his cheek.
He softly wiped my tears with his thumb, making me lean on him even more.
His voice, while not particularly deep, felt like a low comforting rumble, soothing my pain away.
"It's going to be okay."

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